A Dash Of Him

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KIERAN Chapter 31


It's been a couple of weeks since I passed out from a panic attack I had. The nurse said it was probably a trigger of some sort and I knew exactly what that trigger was. Donovan's intense gray eyes swirled with hatred and his voice filled with anger. 'You fucken killed Emilio, you murderer', is all that rings in my head. My heart started to beat faster and my hands began to sweat. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths just like the nurse told me to do. I've never had a panic attack but I feel horrible for what happened. Every day I have a flashback in my head of tired screeching and glass breaking.

I remember my eyes falling at the red Mercedes and the guys face leaning on the steering wheel, blood falling over his face. I could feel a warm tear come down my cheek as guilt cloaked my body. I never meant to kill Emilio. My rage and darkness consumed me. I lost my mother and was mad at myself for being a worthless son. I only caused her headaches when all she wanted was for me to be happy. I let jealousy consume me but that is not an excuse for taking a man's life. It was an accident but it had consequences that is affecting Dash's relationship.

I haven't spoken to Dash since Thanksgiving but I remember the look on his face. He was desperate for an answer from me but I told him to wait. I wanted to tell Duke that it was me who took Emilio's life away. But knowing Dash he's probably holding on by a thread. He's always had a heart of gold and never held secrets. I'm the opposite my heart has turned into stone and I've held secrets but this I'm not going to hold. I'm going to get out and tell Duke the whole story that's if he'll hear me out.

I was laying on the brick of a bed. I was taking a break from the chores I had to do. Vlad said he'll meet me in the laundry room so we could start our folding for the day. I stared at the metal wiring from Vlad's bed and went back to Donovan's dark gray eyes, that fucker was sexy as hell, broad shoulders, tan skin, dark brown hair, and a nice frame for a football player. I had seen the press conference earlier that day. He came out to the press. He was married but why do all that? He was living a double life just like me. I never knew I was bi or maybe even gay. I've had sex with women but something about being with a man is different.

My other question is how does he know Emilio? I took a deep breath when a guard tapped on my cell bars. "Get back to work, Mitchell," I rolled my eyes and sat on the edge of my bed. I glanced at the wall where the picture of my mom was.

"I'm going to make this right, mom. I'm going to fix up my messed up life and make you proud of me," my heart ached at saying those words because it was too late. My mom was gone but I had to make her proud regardless of what I've done in the past. I'm going to make this right, starting with telling Duke I killed his husband. I just hope that doesn't ruin his relationship with Dash. It looks like my brother is happier than before. "Fuck this is going to be difficult," I whispered as I got out of my cell and walked towards the laundry room.

The hallway going towards the laundry was eerily quiet. There's usually a guard or two in these hallways but I'm pretty sure they're watching a game or being the lazy asses they are. Then suddenly someone turned me around and slammed me on the wall. He gripped his hand around my neck and squeezed until the air in my throat was barely coming in. "Where's you're little bodyguard or should I say fuck buddy?" I'm trying to remove his grip from my throat but this fucker is strong. Tony always hated me but then, he hates everyone. His green eyes blazed like Hades while his grip went tighter but suddenly I heard a voice coming. He dropped me quickly as I coughed and took in a deep breath. "I'm taking his life away today," he walked away as I sat on the floor catching my breath. What the fuck is he talking about? I really want to leave this fucking prison.

I cracked my neck and tried to swallow. I walked into the laundry room as the warmth from the dryers filled the atmosphere. Tony's words lingered in my brain. 'I'm taking his life away today. Whose life is he going to take away? Tony has many enemies and he wants to kill everyone. I heard he killed his family because his wife cheated on him. He's in here for life so that's making him bitter.

I stopped when I noticed Vlad's back muscles. He always took his orange shirt off and left his muscle shirt on. His broad shoulders were well defined and his triceps moved as he folded shirts. He has let his hair grow but it was still short. His waist was my favorite to wrap my arms around and kiss his neck. This was one of the only times I could mess around with him because hardly anyone would come in here. We knew when the guards wouldn't show up. So we had time to get off.

Vlad kept folding as I gazed from his shoulders to his waist and his nice perky ass. I took a deep breath when suddenly someone jumped out of nowhere. It was fucken Tony. He had a knife in his hand as he wrapped Vlad's neck around his arm. He stabbed Vlad on the side and then again, and again. I was frozen at the horrifying scene. Tony had a smirk on his lips and he glanced at me while his green eyes blazed like hell. He dropped Vlad and pointed the knife at me. "You're next," he ran off as my feet weren't budging. I heard Vlad's groan and that's when I psyched myself out. I ran towards him and sat next to him. Blood came pouring out his side. I placed his head on my leg. He was trying to breathe but he couldn't.

"Hey...," he swallowed and that's when blood came out his mouth. My eyes filled with tears as I rubbed his hair back. "Midnight," he gave me that name not so long ago. He told me my eyes resembled the midnight sky.

"Don't talk," I looked up as silence filled the room. The only sound was from the dryers. I swallowed and yelled. "Someone help!"

His body was trembling as I grabbed a white towel from the table and put it on top of him. My legs were drenched with his blood. "Midnight," a tear came down the side of his eyes. I have never seen Vlad cry but right now I'm seeing a soft man in front of me. "You're almost out...," he coughed blood.

"Don't talk please, someone help us!" What the fuck is taking so long.

"Please be good. You have your brother and your dad. Start fresh and find yourself a boyfriend," I saw a tiny curve on the corner of his lips.

"How? I want you," I finally confessed. I came to love this man. We would talk for hours. He told me about his life in Russia and then he came here, to the states. He found his boyfriend, Paul, who was murdered in front of him. His exterior was tough but deep inside he was warm. He was dying in front of me just like my mother did.

"Just promise me...," his eyes went blank as his silver eyes morphed into a black hole. His chest stopped moving and his arms went limp. I dipped my face into his neck and cried.

"I love you, Vlad. Always will," that's when my heart turned to charcoal. My veins filled with crimson blood and my body turned to stone. I gripped his bloody muscle shirt and pulled him closer to me. No fucken guards came but I wasn't going to let that bastard get away with this. I'll get my revenge even if it's the last thing I do.


The lazy ass guards came like 20 minutes after Vlad died in my arms. I waited outside as I leaned on the wall. My clothes were filled with blood but I didn't give a shit. I told the guards it was Tony and they immediately went to go look for him. I saw Vlad's body get taken out and walk past me. My lips trembled and my heart ached so much. It was the second time my heart shattered into a million pieces. When was I going to stop suffering? Was this a way to punish me for Emilio's death, if so I learned my lesson.

I stood leaning on the wall because I know the guards would be escorting Tony out through here. I'm pretty sure he'll be going to solitary confinement. I took a deep breath and that's when I saw Tony's evil face. He had a smirk on his face when he saw me. His hands were cuffed as I slowly waited for him to walk in front of me. "Miss your boyfriend," and that's when I grabbed his neck. I don't know where I got the strength from the grip the guards had him but I slammed him on the wall, face first. I heard something break and I hope it was his teeth.

"Fuck!" He yelled.

I slammed his face again. "Eat shit, motherfucker!" I yelled as I kept slamming his face on the hard cement wall. That's when the guards stopped me.

"Enough!" one of the guards pushed me. The guard had a smirk on his face. I saw how Tony's face was left; A bust eyes, a split lip, his face was swelling, and he spit what looked like a tooth. My rage was like a category 4 tornado. I wanted to destroy everything in my path.

"You're next fucker," Tony's last words until they dragged him out. I slammed myself on the wall and slid down slowly. What was happening to me? Everything was numb. A void filled my body and anger filled my veins, this is not who I am but it's better than feeling all the pain that has piled inside me. I needed my brother. I needed my dad. I needed someone.


It's been a couple of days since Vlad died. I slept in this cold-ass room by myself now. One thing that warmed me was Vlad's warm blanket. Vlad left me all his stuff, some guard told me not so long ago. Vlad knew a lot of guards and friended them. He was liked by many but hated just as much. Tony got moved to another county jail. He made death threats to many inmates so he went where dangerous criminals were jailed. I thought this one was bad but I guess there are worst jails out there.

I've hardly slept or eaten. I did my chores. I closed my heart and shut off my brain. I didn't want to feel anything or think about no one. It hurt too much to think about Vlad. My mother came to mind so much lately that I had to punch the wall to calm my pain. I glanced at my knuckles that were wrapped in gauze. The nurse said I didn't break anything but if I keep it up I'm heading in that direction.

There was a light bang on my cell. "Mitchell your brother is on the phone," finally.

The guard escorted me to where the phone was. I picked up the phone. "Brother," my words choked.

"Hey, fucker. You're almost going to be out," he sounded happy.

I couldn't hold it anymore. "Dash, I want to get out of here," I cried into the phone as I held my head down.

"Kai, what's wrong man? Talk to me," he said more alert. I swallowed my tears and cleared my throat. I hadn't told him about Vlad but I came out to him. I told him what happened. I cried again and helped relieve some aches from my aching heart.

"Dad called not so long ago. I should be out in a couple of weeks. I'm going to be on house arrest for a couple of months. I'll be with dad," I took a deep breath. I couldn't wait to leave this hell.

"I know he told me already. Hand in there, bro. I love you and we'll get through this," Dash has a heart of gold. Mine was charcoal. I just hope I get through this.

But life isn't fair, another heartbreak was coming and it wouldn't be mine.
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