Chapter 56 - Family Trip
Jackson’s and Josephine’s baby shower was great, from what I could remember so sleep deprived that days and weeks all roll into one. Christopher is only sleeping for an hour at a time if I’m lucky, yes Oliver is helping but not much he can do when all Christopher wants is my breasts. “Babe, have you fallen asleep?” Oliver asked, just sitting on the floor in the lounge room staring off into space not paying any attention to what Oliver has been talking to me about from the kitchen while I fold the same baby blanket. “Ahh, babe are you ok?” He asked, “What do you think Oliver?” I snapped at him, he just stands there looking at me shocked at my outburst, I have no idea what is going on with us but ever since we bought Christopher home I have been snapping at Oliver over anything and everything. “You know what Tasmine, go into our room and get some sleep I will wake you up when we need to leave.” He ordered.
“Why do we need to go? All he is going to be doing is screaming the whole car ride and then not sleeping.” I grumbled, “We need it, and we need to go it’s a family vacation.” Oliver said firmly, “Arggh.” I cried out, “I’m doing my best not to yell at you Tasmine, but your being” I cut him off, “What am I being?!” I snapped, “Right now? You’re about to wake him up!” He yelled at me, “Well?!” I said, “I’m not doing this with you right now, go and get some sleep, please!” He snapped as he stormed off into the kitchen, I followed him. He stops opening up the fridge but just stands there. “Tasmine please, fucking get some sleep!” I stood there looking at him in shock, the first time he has really snapped at me. “What is going on with us?” I asked so quietly, he closes the fridge and looks at me, can see tears forming in his eyes.
“I don’t know, I think it’s cause we are both so tired. That is why I agreed on us going on this weekend away. Jackson, Max, Josephine, Justine, Dad, Dean, and Sam are all going to be there to help out with Christopher to give us a break, which we desperately need. Stop giving me that look Tasmine you know I’m right. If I have to tell” I yelled out over the top of him, “Fine! I will try and get some sleep.” I stormed off not knowing why I am so angry at him, everyone is still up from the baby shower that was only a few days ago, face planting the bed just as I close my eyes Christopher starts screaming the house down.
“Why won’t you sleep!” I groaned out, getting up to go to him, fixing him up taking him back into our room so I could sit on our bed feeding him, Oliver came rushing in. “Tasmine! I was going to feed him a bottle and let you sleep.” He complained, “Meeh I’m feeding him now.” I said, “I’m packing his and my bag when I’m done you can help me pack yours.” He ordered, he sounded like a man on a mission, “Ok.” I watched him walking around in our son’s room packing his bag, why are we fighting so much? Then it hits me we haven’t kissed, hugged nothing since that bbq, been too tired too, is that why Oliver agreed to this trip away? “Why are you looking at me like that? Did I put something wrong in his bag?” He asked. “What?” I asked lost, “Oh, you spaced out again.” I just nod my head as I do my best not to fall asleep with our son in my arms.
Four hours later we are packed and on the road heading to Cape Hillsborough cabins, and he hasn’t stopped screaming since we left the house. “I know your driving Oliver but any ideas on how to shut him up?” I asked, “No idea Tasmine.” Not even sitting next to him is getting him to stop, I have even tried feeding him a bottle of my milk and all that did was make him vomit. “I hate this Oliver,” I confessed, “So do I.” He agreed, “Are we drifting apart?” I asked trying not to cry, I was looking at him when I said that, he quickly looked back at me shocked. He indicated to pull off the highway into a truck stop as soon as the car stopped Christopher stopped crying, thank the good lord for that. Oliver grabs my hand kissing it softly. “No we are not drifting apart, we just have a newborn babe who takes up so much of our time, that we are too tired for us. It’s time for us now.” He pulls on my arm grabbing my face in his hands kissing me softly, fuck I have missed his lips on mine. Grabbing his hair pulling it as I kiss him back. “Fuck, I have missed you,” I whispered.
“I have missed you too babe,” Oliver whispered, then Christopher started crying again, we both groaned out, Oliver checked for oncoming cars and got back onto the highway, we finally pulled up to the cabin with massive headaches from his screams. Holding our son bouncing him around in my arms as Oliver unlocks as I am trying to get him to calm down a little. “Christopher it’s ok baby we aren’t in the car anymore.” I said, “Thought I could hear my grandson’s.” Charles yelled out, “Hi dad.” Oliver said after he unlocked and dropped our bags on the bed, he hands Christopher’s bag to his dad as I looked at him shocked. “His having him right now?” I asked, “Yes? I had told you” Oliver started saying, “No you didn’t.” I cut him off, “It’s ok Tasmine, you can feed him if he needs it. I’m happy to have him tonight and spend some time with my grandbaby, besides you look like you need it.” Charles said, “Why does everyone keep saying that?! Do I look like shit?! Don’t fucking answer that!” I snapped when I noticed they both were about to answer, “Babe, please” Oliver begged.
Holding tightly onto our son, kissing his forehead, I know he doesn’t stop crying but I still love him, just wished it was a little easier like how the other babies are like in the mother’s group. Charles has his hands to grab Christopher, I hand him over to Oliver so he can say goodnight to him too. I left them out the front I couldn’t I needed to calm down. Walking into the bathroom, locking the door, stripping, standing under the warm water crying, not normal crying ugly crying.
Why does our son hate me?
Why won’t he sleep?
Why is it so hard to get him to sleep?
Is there something in my milk that is keeping him awake?
I have stopped drinking caffeine and that is one of the reasons why I’m snapping at everyone I miss my coffee and tea. I miss what myself and Oliver used to be like, I no longer feel like myself, no longer act like myself. I hear a soft knock on the door I didn’t answer instead I just cried harder. “Tas baby girl let me in, please.” I just couldn’t move to let my husband in, and I don’t want him to see how broken I am right now. We cannot travel far as Christopher screams the house down and I’m dreading driving home.
Why does our son hate being in the car?
I felt his hands running up and down my back, I spun around holding onto him tightly as I kept on crying. “Kitten, Dad is ok with our son.” He whispered, “I can’t do this!” I cried out, he looked at me worried he pushes me up against the wall holding my face in his hands as he whispers. “You cannot do what?” He asked, “Motherhood.” I whispered, “What?” He stammered out, “He hates me, he won’t sleep I suck at being a mum! I cannot get him to go to sleep and I cannot get him to not scream all the time and in the car. I cannot even be a nice person to my husband” He puts a finger to my lips, “Hey Babe, Tassie sweetheart your human that is all that is, we are human and we will fight you know that. We fight every now and then” I cut him off, “We’ve been fighting nonstop since” He cuts me off, “I know babe, that is why we are having some alone time tonight we need to reconnect kitten. I missed my wife. Also, our son doesn’t hate you, Dad is going to see what he does tonight with him and see if he has answers for us.” He whispered, “I miss you” I didn’t finish what I was going to say Oliver slammed his lips onto mine kissing me passionately, pressing hard up against me, fuck I missed him kissing me like this.
Gripping his hair tightly wrapping my arms around his shoulders moaning into his mouth. “Oh, I have missed hearing you moan like that.” He growls out, “I love you, please stop talking and fuck me hard up against this wall.” I ordered he chuckles, I love hearing that chuckle of his, we both smile at each other, he grabs my legs lifting them up over his arms, lining himself up slowly entering me, once fully inside he stopped. “Fuck you feel amazing, I fucking missed this.” Oliver said loudly, “God, have you gotten bigger? Fuck....” I moan out, he laughs biting my earlobe, thrusting slowly in me, our foreheads gently pressed together he had a big grin on his face as I moan out. “Fuck... ahhh gooooood Ollie!” I screamed out, “That’s it baby scream my name.” Oliver licks my lips before kissing me hard, his thrusting has become hard and erratic as my moans and grunts have gotten louder.
“Tass not going to last long.” He moans out before bitting my earlobe, “Keep hitting that spot! YES! Fuck keep hitting that stop babe.” I screamed, I kept on saying as he moves faster. “Oh god, I can feel it, fuck that feels amazing!” Oliver yells out, “OLIVER! ARGHHH YESSSS!” I screamed as I tighten around him exploding as he keeps going until he spills his load inside of me. “TASMINE! FUCKK!!” Panting leaning his head against mine as we both catch our breaths, holding tightly onto each other. “Fuck, babe that” Took a deep breath in. “Needed that, I missed this.” I finally managed to say, “Hmmm same.” He chuckles, kissing me softly, putting my legs so I can feel them, still holding me up until he knows I have gotten feeling back into them. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” He asked, “No, babe you didn’t.” I looked up at him, playing with his hair he smiles at me.
“I’m so sorry for being a mega-bitch lately,” I said to him, “I forgive you, babe, also I’m sorry for being a grumpy asshole.” I laughed, kissing his nose. “Forgive you too babe.” I told him, “Let’s make a new pack between us. The minute we start feeling like we are snapping at each other we take an hour or more as a couple and spend time with each other.” He said, “Ok, we can do that.” I like the sound of that, “Good, let’s clean up and continue this in that big comfy bed.” He suggested, “Oh god, hurry up then I cannot wait!” I cried out joy.
“Tasmine wake up!” Oliver was yelling at me, I feel someone shaking me, I groan out. “Babe wake up!” Oliver yelled louder, “What’s wrong?” I mumbled, “I’m soaking wet Tas and sticky what the hell did you do?” He complained, I sat up groaning out in pain as my breasts are so full and sore, then I worked out what has happened. “Sorry, babe my breasts are overfull and leaked during the night. You are covered in my milk, can you please pass me that bag I need to express now.” I asked, “Right, that has never happened before. I’m going to go clean up while you express and hope they have clean sheets for us.” He said he hands me the bag, digging out my breast pump, he watches me set up and start expressing myself.
“Babe, what time is it?” I asked, “It’s eight-thirty in the morning.” He told me, I looked at him in shock, fuck we haven’t slept that long since my second trimester. “Fuck we slept for over fourteen hours!” I cried out in shock, “Clearly we needed it, babe, I will be right back, want a quick morning quickie before we head out for breakfast?” He asked, “See how long it takes for me to empty these.” I said, “Are you sore?” He asked, “Not in the spot you are thinking of.” I smirked, “Your breasts?” He asked, “Yes, with him not feeding on me every two hours they filled up fast. I wonder how Charles went last night with him.” I said Oliver walks over to our gear pulling out his phone, he smiled up at me, “He hasn’t said anything to us, Jackson has been having a field day with us though.” He grumbled, “He can wait.” I snapped, “Are you forgetting who he is?” Oliver asked, “That door is locked?” I asked, “Yes.” He said, “Well shut up and get cleaned up.” I said, “Righto Mrs. Brown.” He smirked at me, walking towards the bathroom giving me a show, laughing to himself as he got into the shower.
By the time I had finished expressing he was still in the shower, I slowly walked in and found him standing under the water head bent shoulders shaking, ahhh my man is crying quietly in the shower. Slowly walk into the bathroom running my arms around his waist hugging him tightly to my body he puts a hand over mine, I kiss his shoulder blade. “Sorry kitten” I cut him off, “Ol stop, you can cry when you need to, I will never stop you. It seems to be your turn hey?” I asked, he chuckles, turning around in my arms burring his head in my neck stroking my back and hair. “Fuck Tasmine, I didn’t realise how much I needed last night, and then” I cut him off, “Hit you hard when you were by yourself?” I asked, he nods his head, kissing my neck. “Can you just hold on to me tightly?” He asked, “Of course, babe.” I whispered.
Two hours later we left the cabin, grabbing some food and drinks to go we found our family sitting down enjoying themselves on the beach, spotting Jackson with a smartass smirk on his face, Oliver’s grip on my hand tightens. Our boy in his grandad’s arms spots us bouncing around giggling and singing out. I start smiling as we raced towards our boy ignoring Jackson. “Chris! My boy God mummy missed you!” I cried out, he jumps into my arms, holding him tight showering him with kisses as he baby babbles to me. Oliver is standing in front of me, hugging and kissing our son.
“How was he, Charles?” I asked, Christopher noticing his dad was behind him he wants to be in his arms, handing him to his dad, love watching Oliver being with his son. “Took a bit to calm down from that car ride, he really hates cars hey? After that, he crashed after his bottle and didn’t wake up until five hours later for another bottle and a changed nappy and went back to sleep. He woke up around seven and I think after a feed from you he will be down for a nap.” Both I and Oliver looked at Charles in shock. “He slept for five hours?” Oliver asked, “Think the trouble is he is dream feeding from Tas so when, you put him down he wakes up with a few hours instead of longer, maybe try bottle feeding him your express milk and see how he goes?” Charles said, Oliver looked over at me he knows I want to keep breastfeeding him but he is nearly four months old and I want to try solids on him too.
“Babe all up to you,” Oliver said, “If it means we get more sleep, I will try it.” I said, “Good now you snobby cow say” Jackson started, “Hello asshole what has crawled up your ass and died?” I asked, “Nothing, just happy to see you too looking better.” Jackson said with a big smile on his face, “Good, about time also you two need to be up and out here at five in the morning to feed the animals, trust me it is beautiful and you cannot miss it tomorrow.” Max ordered politely, “Yes, guys you cannot miss it.” Sam said loudly, “Also can you two be quiet tonight I need more sleep.” Dean complained, “Deal mate, you don’t know what needing sleep is until you are living off an hour’s sleep a night for nearly four months.” Oliver snapped at Dean, “Hahaha easy bro cover that dick of yours if you don’t want your wife pregnant. Not our problem.” Dean said laughing, “What is with you kids and this type of conversation when I’m around?” Charles asked, “Been wondering the same thing for years, Charles.” Josephine said, “What is the real reason you want us up at that time Maxi Pad?” I asked, “Here I will show you.” Max said.