Sorry for the delay. Its been a little crazy not to mention the slight writers block. I know where I want the story to go, but the getting there is a little fuzzy.
Who knew trying to find something to wear would be so difficult. I’ve never put this much thought into what I was wearing, but I wanted to look nice for Lucan. Every outfit I considered wasn’t good enough for a night out with him. After my first paycheck I was going to spurge a little and buy some new close. Especially since I was going to be seen more and more with Steel Wolf.
A loud knocking on the door draws me from my thoughts. “Kitten, Hunter and I are both ready. Just pick something and put it on. I’m sure you will look beautiful in whatever you choose.” Lucan says on the other side of the door.
My stomach grumbles reminding I’m hunger and the longer I take the longer till we eat. I settle on a pair of jegging, black tank top with lace, and a long red plaid button shirt. The sleeves roll to my elbows and I only button the shirt till I reach my breasts. Lastly I leave my hair down and slip on my cowboy boots. I only touch up the makeup I’m already wearing.
Once I’m ready I open the door and follow the sound of their voices. The two of them are sitting at the kitchen table deep in conversation. Hunter is the first to notice me. He pushes the chair back from the table and engulfs me in a huge hug.
I return the hug. “What’s this all about,” I ask him.
“For being the best mommy ever,” he exclaims.
“Is that so,” I state looking down at him.
“Yep! Daddy was telling me how we are now going to be moving in with him and he was describing the house. I’ll get to decorate my room any way I want to.” Hunter pulls away from me to run and give Lucan a hug.
“He did? Did he,” I ask crossing my arms across my eyes and aiming my question more too Lucan than Hunter.
Lucan leans back in his chair. “Hunter was talking about the two of you moving and how he was going to miss me so I told him the good news,” he says with a shrugs as thought sharing this huge news with Hunter was no big deal.
No big deal? News like this was something either I should have told him or us together. “Lucan in the future let me handle life altering changes. I have a better understanding of how to explain delicate situation to him.”
Lucan narrows his eyes and stands from his chair. “Last I check Hunter is my son. Not yours.”
My steps falter backwards as though I had been slapped. The pain of hearing Lucan refer to Hunter as not my son breaks my heart. I’ve been raising him his entire life and through the year our relationship has evolved. He was no longer my nephew, but my son. Biologically he isn’t, but to us that never meant anything.
When Hunter needed comfort he would always turn to me and when he wanted to celebrate his triumphs I was the first he told. Every time Hunter was sick I was the one to care for him. I’ve done everything for Hunter except give birth to him. He calls me mom.
Hunter shifts to the side and watches the two of us with wariness in his eyes. I close my eyes for a second and try to put myself in his shoes. Lucan and myself fighting in front of him won’t do him any good. But Lucan also never should have said what he did.
I narrow my eyes to combat the tears fighting their way through. “Suddenly my appetite is gone and I’m not feeling so well. I’m going to sit this one out.” All the excitement from Hunter’s face drains and sadness takes its place. Hurting Hunter kills my heart, but after what Lucan said I can’t be around him. If I was to go, I would only ruin the night for Hunter.
Turning to Lucan I say void of emotion, “Lucan how about you and your son still go and,” I lower my voice so only he hears me, “us none parents stay open.”
Awareness and regret fills his eyes while I watch him with my steady gaze. When he says nothing I slightly nod my head and turn my attention to Hunter. I give him a hug goodbye and tell him I love him. He tries to beg me to go or for him to stay and take care of me. Using all my best acting skills I convince him I’m okay on my own and he should enjoy his outing with his dad. Hunter watches me closely judging if I’m telling the truth or not. Eventually when he gets older I’m not going to be able to bend the truth like I do.
As I walk away Lucan calls out my name, but I continue on my path having no desire to speak with him. Sometime apart will be good for the both of us. Was I acting childish? Probably. But I was also hurt by his words. Yes, he is Hunter’s father, but he wasn’t there for six years of his life. Granted him not being there wasn’t by choice.
Still at the end of the day these past six years I treated Hunter as though he was my own and hearing those words from Lucan broke my heart. I promised him I would try, but I’m not so sure I can. Especially if what he said is how he really feels.
I’ll move into his house because no way in hell will he back down about us moving in with him. Also since legally he holds all the power. If I want to remain with Hunter I’m going to have to play semi nice. But as for any kind of relationship between Lucan and me not going to happen.
I enter my bedroom locking the door behind me and sitting on my bed. Tears battle against my resolve, but I refuse to give in and allow him that power over me. He already has enough power over me. No need to give him power over my emotions as well.
A knock on my door draws me from my thoughts and Lucan’s sadden voice on the other end shocks me. “Kinsley can we talk,” he states softly.
“Thought you and your son were heading out,” I snarl in return not at all hiding my anger from him.
“Our son,” he starts putting an emphasis on the word our, “will only leave if you are coming with us.” Then even quieter he says. “I don’t want to go without you either.”
My head was in such a spin over hearing him refer to Hunter as our son there was no room for me to focus on the last sentence he said. Lucan has put me in more tail spins than my own mother. At least with Pam she is pretty consistent with her behavior. Lucan is all over the place.
“Come on Kinsley open the door.” Lucan continues to press from the other side. “Please.”
In a huff I stand from the door and swing the door open, but remain in the doorway to block him from entering. No way in hell was I going to be alone with him once again in my room because we always end up entangled. I stand there with my arms crossed across my chest and narrowed eyes.
Lucan scratches the back of his neck and without looking at me he stutters through his words. “Look I’m sorry for my behavior. All of this is new to me. And our situation is far from normal.” Finally, he shifts his gaze to meet mine.
A new found strength floods my bones. Maybe because I was tired of being belittled by him, but I found myself entering into his personal space. “And you think an apology is going to fix the hurtful words you said. Remember once something is said it cannot ever be unsaid. The truth is you don’t see me as anything other than Hunter’s aunt. New flash asshole. I’ve been both mom and dad to him all these years. No way in hell am I going to let you rune his and mine relationship.”
A smile tugs at his lips and he props his hip against the door with a different heat entering his eyes. “Do you know how hot you get when you turn into mama bear?” He runs his eyes over my face. “And how hard I’m fighting against the urge to kiss you?”
I take a step back needing some space between the two of us, but he stalks me into the room and shuts the door behind him. “Lucan,” I stutter feeling his warm breath against my face, “stop,” I tell him holding up my hand and pressing it against his chest.
He cocks his head to the side and I squirm as he watches me. “By the way your breath has quickened I can tell you want me to kiss you too,” he states moving his lips close to my ear. I fight back the shiver wanting to run through my body and lose.
Lucan pulls away with a smug smile reading through my paper thin control. He’s not wrong and I dislike him even more for having such control over my body. I shake my head. “No,” I say more firmly then what I’m actually feeling.
Lucan studies by expression and runs his fingers down the side of my face. “Your brain might be saying one thing, but your body is saying something else.”
Needing to get us back on track with the original conversation and away from the one we are currently on I say, “enough with the hot and cold Lucan. What you said though legally might be true in Hunter’s eyes is not. And all your unkind words are going to do is hurt Hunter.” And me.
He sighs, steps back and stares at a spot above my head. “Like I said this is new to me. You have years of know how under your belt and I guess I’m jealous of your relationship with him.” He turns his gaze back to me and in a serious tone states, “but you also need to realize I’m his dad and am able to make decisions without consulting you.” My feathers become ruffled and am about to give him a piece of my mind, but he cuts me off. “But you understand Hunter better and have been the one making decisions for him up till now. This is also a huge change for you and I need to remember that as well.” I nod my head thankful he is able to see the other side.
“Thank you,” I tell him. “All of this is hard on me too. When Emma was around I never had to consult her before I did something. She was like the silent partner in a business.” Taking a deep breath, I say one of the most difficult things I’m ever going to say. “I’ll work on respecting the fact you are his father and don’t have to ask me to get permission on how you interact with Hunter.”
Lucan gives me a slight smile. “And I’ll work on remembering that for the longest time you were the decision maker and continue to reach out to you with decisions.” I return his smile feeling better about our standing with one another. Lucan moves closer to me and I don’t back away. “Can I kiss you now?”
“Nope,” I tell him dipping to the side and sneaking out the door.
Hunter meets me at the door with one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen. “You’re coming?”
“Yes I’m coming.” He hugs me tight and his stomach rumbles beneath me. With a chuckle I say, “let’s go feed the angry dragon.”
The three of us then head out the door for a whole new adventure.