My Nephew's Dad the Rockstar (Book 3 Steel Wolf Collection)

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Chapter 22

The night out with Lucan and Hunter was one for the books. Lucan had rented out Dave and Busters for us claiming he wasn’t ready to share Hunter with the world. This also reminded him the two of us need to sit down with Aubree and discuss next steps. Keeping Hunter out of the public is only going to last so long and there have already been some leaks. But with Steel Wolf remaining silent some of the claims are starting to lose power, but all one has to do is search the public records for the truth.

Hunter’s eyes popped out of his head when he saw where we were. He’s wanted to go since someone in his class mentioned who they went, but I could never afford to take him. As much as I hate to admit the truth I enjoyed myself. Lucan and I even played some games together. Over all I’m glad I went with them instead of staying home.

Currently Lucan and I have only argued a few times since Dave and Busters, but none of them have ended with my naked beneath him. I’m holding onto myself control, but my body is about to make demands of their own. I kept waiting for Lucan to slip away for a night out on his own, but he hasn’t. Instead we have slipped into a routine of our own.

Usually Hunter wakes me up and I start breakfast then the smell wakes Lucan. We spend the day either packing or going out, Lucan has to wear a disguise and we both put Hunter to bed. Though last night I let him do it by himself and he came out with the biggest smile. Which lead into one of the most important discussion Lucan and I have ever had.

“It never gets hold hearing him call me dad or hearing him say he loves me,” Lucan states returning to the kitchen. I hand him a cup of tea, another part of our routine, and we retire to the family room.

“And it never will,” I say to Lucan taking my seat on the couch. He claims the one next to me. We both take a sip of our drinks. He leans back, closes his eyes and smiles. “What,” I ask him full of curiosity.

He opens one eye than closes it. “Never thought I would enjoy the domestic life as much as I do.”

“Oh,” I say waiting for him to explain.

“As much as I love Aubree and Skylar deep down I thought Dimitri and Ryder were silly for wanting the whole family thing. But…” he trails off with a ghost of a smile.

I catch him watching me out of the corner of his eye and when he realizes I have caught him he shuts it immediately. The snot is waiting for me to press him for more and my curiosity gets the better of me and I ask, “but?”

“Maybe they are on to something. I have a kid now,” he shakes his head and sitting his mug on the rickety table. “Still weird hearing me and kid in the same sentence. Not much of a choice now to fall into the role of family man.” He opens his eyes, sits up and aims his steady gaze in my direction. “Only role now left to fill is the women who I can come home to.”

Sitting back, I take a few sips of my tea. Could I fill the role for him? I run my eyes over him and for a second I allow myself to imagine how life would be being Lucan’s women. We have great chemistry no doubt there. But do we have what would be needed to make a relationship work. And what about Hunter.

Say we get into a relationship. Hunter would be thrilled. But what if down the road Lucan and I realize we aren’t right for each other. Then we split and now Hunter would have to deal with the falling out. He’s been through enough without me adding to his plate. As much as I want to explore a relationship with Lucan Hunter must come first.

“Lucan,” I say gently raising my eyes to his and setting my mug on the table.

He stands from the couch and paces the room interrupting me before I can say anything. “Kinsley enough we both know we would be great together. Hell we are already raising Hunter together,” he bites pointing towards Hunter’s door.

“The only thing tying us together is Hunter and he is who I’m thinking about.” I rise from the couch. “If something was to happen between us and we end up discovering we don’t work than everything will become awkward. Hunter would be the one left suffering the most.”

Lucan steps into my space and wraps his arms around me. He stares into my eyes. “Kitten,” he sighs, “you can’t stop living your life because of Hunter. I appreciate all the sacrifices you’ve made for him up to this point. But you need to start living your life for you. Or your entire life is going to pass you by.”

His words make sense, but I’ve been so focused on Hunter for so long I’m not sure how to focus on myself. Really the only thing I’ve done for me is get my degrees. Everything else I’ve done was with Hunter in the fore front.

I roll my eye cringing as I say, “I hate to agree, but you are right.” A smug smile pulls at his lips. “But.” His expression sours. “I’m in no way to date. Right now my focus is on the move and then on starting my now job. After I’ll think about dating, but that doesn’t in anyway mean you’re at the top of the list. I still stand behind the fact us dating isn’t the best idea.”

Lucan narrows his eyes at me and tightens his hold around me. A swarm of thoughts flow behind his eyes. “Still think you are wrong.” I rest my head under his chin. “Come on I have to be better than your past boyfriends.”

I freeze when he talks about past relationship. Should I tell him? Or not? He already took my virginity. “I…” I try to talk but end up stumbling over the first word.

Lucan pulls me slightly away from him. “Kitten,” he says ever so softly. “Whatever it is you can tell me.”

I glance off to the side for a moment too overwhelmed by the sincerity shinning in his eyes. “I… wouldn’t know,” I state retuning my gaze to him and waiting to see the judgment in this eyes.

He cocks his head to the side and raises his brow. “What do you mean you wouldn’t know?”

I shrug my shoulders pulling away from him. “Exactly what I said,” I say exasperatedly due to repeating an already touchy subject. Then slower I repeat my words. “I wouldn’t know.” I add the next portion so there would be no room for misinterpretation. “I’ve never had a boyfriend. Hell I’ve never dated.”

My cheeks turn bright red and I attempt to hide my face in my hands. I peek at him through my fingers. Lucan stands there in astonishment. The only movement coming from him is his blinking eyes. I widen my fingers slightly. “Lucan say something,” I request hesitantly. “Please.” My voice trembles.

Lucan uncovers my hands from my face and lifts my chin gently. My arms fall limply to my sides. “Kitten you’ve never been with anyone else,” he says shaking his head. “Mother fucking unicorn,” he exclaims.

“Unicorn,” I question him.

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Never thought someone your age would be so pure.”

“I may be inexperienced when it comes to the other gender, but I’m far from pure,” I rebuke him. “After everything Pam and Emma had me deal with I’ve seen my fair share of negativity.”

“Touché,” he replies. “Maybe not so pure with it comes to life’s hardships, but all of that is now behind you. No way in hell am I going to let you ever have to worry about making sure there is a roof over your head or food in the fridge.”

Memories of watching how Pam allowed the men in her life to care for her has me forming fists. I saw firsthand how the men made her repay them for taking care of her and her children. Not that I think Lucan would ever make the same request, but I refuse to ever allow a man to take care of me.

I’ve been on my own since I was eighteen and haven’t relied on anyone since. Not going to start now. “No,” I say firmly.

“No,” he inquires tilting my head back slightly more and searching my eyes for answers.

“I refuse to be like Pam,” I say determinedly removing my chin from his fingers and retuning to my seat on the couch. I pick up my mug and sit on the couch drawing my knees into my chest. Once I was comfortable I continued. “She would rely on whatever man was in her life to care for her. I don’t think the women has ever worked other than laying on her back.”

Slowly Lucan moves to sit on the other side of and turns slightly to face me. “Do you fear turning into her,” he asks sincerely. “Because I don’t…”

Not letting him finish his statement I say with a shake of my head, “not at all. I know I’m nothing like her. I’ve worked hard for everything I have. Whereas she has only taken.”

“Then…” he trails off unsure how to voice his questions.

“Then what am I afraid of,” I state finishing his question. Lucan nods his head. I lean back on the couch and rest my feet on the coffee table. “I never want to rely so heavily on some that when they leave you are left with nothing. At least when they walk out of your life you will still be able to stand on your own two feet.”

Lucan inspects me closely attempting to see into my very being. He takes the mug from my hands and places it on the table. Then he takes both of my hands in his and turns me to face him. “You’ve never been able to lean on someone for support. From reading between the lines I believe everyone in your life has taken from you and never given. Kitten I promise you it’s okay to allow someone in. Too lean on someone else.”

“I’ve leaned on Tina and Mr. Tim for help with Hunter when I needed someone,” I state defending myself.

Lucan gives me a half smile and pats my head like a parent would a child. I glare at him and only earn myself a chuckle. “Asking someone for a quick favor is very different from truly leaning on someone. Took me finding my band brothers to understand the difference. I know no matter what they will be there for me rain or shine. Especially when rain is in the forecast.”

“Like how you are all being there for Aubree with Ryder gone,” I ask.

“Exactly. And Ryder would do the same for us,” Lucan says pulling me into his side. I rest my head on his shoulder.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to,” I say honestly. “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

“Sure you can,” he says running his hand up and down my arm. “They just have to want to try and learn. None of this is going to happened over night Kitten.”

“True,” I reply take one first step and linking our hands together.

Lucan smiles into the side of my head and kisses me. “One step at a time Kitten.”

I take a deep breath. “I’m open to learning to lean on people.” Reflecting on the past weeks I realize I’ve started to lean on Aubree and Skylar. “But,” I tell him sitting up and poking him in the chest. “once I get a few paychecks under my belt I want to contribute to the household. I never want to feel like I owe you something. When the time comes we can sit down and discuss me paying you rent and for a portion of the utilities. This way when I bring a boy home I won’t feel guilty.”

Lucan’s eyes started darkening when I mentioned paying my portion of the bills, but they turned black at the mention of bringing someone else home. He reminded me of a demon. “First house rule,” he seethes, “you are not allowed to bring any male back to the house.” His tone leaves no room for wiggle room.

“Fine,” I mutter then under my breath add, “we will either get a hotel then or go back to his place.” Lucan’s nostrils flare. He must have heard my comment. Oops.

“Not sure you understood me.” Very slowly he says, “no. Other. Males.”

I shove at his chest. “But Lucan you said yourself I should experience all of what life has to offer and dating would be a part of that discovery.”

“At first I liked the fact you’ve never been with anyone else. Now I’m not so sure,” Lucan says plainly. “Nor do I enjoy you using my own words against me.” We stare at each other for a moment. Lucan relents. “I have a proposition for you. Date other guys to figure out what you are seeking. But I’m too be included in the dating pool.”

“Lucan we talked about this,” I interrupt him. “We can’t.” I try to wiggle away from him to put some space between us, but he refuses to let me.

“Hear me out. I want to give this a try between us.” He bites his lip and spaces out for a moment. “If we don’t work I’ll give you joint custody of Hunter. This way you will have equal rights to Hunter legally.”

He’s dangling a carrot before me. All I’ve ever wanted is legal custody of Hunter. This way no one can ever deny me the right to see Hunter. I can’t believe I’m actually considering this, but I would get so much in return.

My thoughts are running a mile a minute and I’m rapidly weighing all the pros and cons in my head. As much as I want to ask him for more time to think this over I’m afraid he will change his mind. “I have a few stipulations.”

“Go on,” Lucan says.

“I don’t want a label on this and Hunter cannot find out. Which means we are going to have to keep this arrangement on the down low.” I explain.

Lucan’s face shows his displeasure like an open book. “Fine. But when this works we tell him together.”

“What you stated about me seeing other people I agree with. But you in no way can interfere,” I state adding my next demand.

Now his expression turns sour. “Fine. But I also get to do the same.”

My heart pings at the thought of him with someone else, but I need to do this. I’ve never had the chance to date and a part of me is excited at the chance. “Only fair,” I respond attempting to keep my tone neutral.

“I only have two stipulations. One you can’t date one of my band brother.” I nod my had in agreement having no desire to date either Mason or Tray. “Second nothing sexual other than with me.”

Yet again I have no desire to sleep around with some random guy. Sure my actions with Lucan speak differently, but again I don’t want to turn out like Pam. Also don’t want Hunter to see a parade of men leaving my bed.

“Fine. But the same goes for you.” I add the second part because mentally I’m not sure I would be able to deal with the parade of women leaving his bed.

“Of course.” He responds. “That goes even without being said.” Lucan leans down and speaks close to my ear. “Kitten you are the only one I want warming my bed.”

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