Chapter Fourteen: Be Afraid
“Mama, are you okay?” Lilly asks me while we waited for the doctor to return. I nodded at her.
“Yes, why?” I asked her. We are in the doctor’s office, a small office, with a large bed on my right, so the patients can sit down. His desk on the left side, facing the door. A shelf filled with books and gloves.
“You look nervous,” she frowns. I look up at her and shook my head.
“I’m fine. I’m just thinking how happy I am, that I finally got to hear your real feelings, is all.” I assured her. She takes a hold of my hand.
“I still feel horrible, though. I didn’t want you to worry, so I started to argue in purpose,” she admits. I pat her hand.
“Is all in the past. While we are in good terms, is all forgotten,” I told her. She was about to speak when the doctor enters the office.
The doctor from before, that took care of Sophy came in, holding a new prosthetic leg.
“Dr. Richard, how is Lilly doing?” I asked. Dr. Richard smiled at me gently as he sat on the round small brown chair near his desk, rolls to Lilly, to look at her leg, I mean half.
“It bothers her because she’s growing and the material isn’t suitable for her any longer. Is all. This one actually came out a few months ago. It should be more comfortable for Lilly to walk around with. If not, come back.” I smiled gently at him.
“Oh, thank God.” I smiled, as he attached the wooden leg on my daughter, strapping it around.
“See how you feel?” he asks her. Lilly nods, and stood up, only to wobble a little, her eyes widen.
“I can actually bend a little.” she gasps with happiness. I smiled at her even more.
“Good. Walk a little,” I suggested. The doctor observed her while she walks around.
“She has made great progress after all these years. You are an incredible mother, to help Lillian out.” I shook my head at Dr. Richard.
“Is all God work, not mine. Either way, thank you.” I stood up, but Lilly turns to frown at me.
“He has to check your back,” she suggested, while she lowers her dress to cover her leg. I shook my head.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just go and pay for the leg and the check up, how much doctor?” I asked.
“Fifty dollars,” he said. I went still for a second.
‘Fifty dollars? That’s expensive, last time it was thirty.’ I smiled gently and open my dress pocket and took out the money.
“Please pay my secretary, you always do this Miss. Hart.′ he said in a teasing manner. I shrugged at him.
“I tend to forget, then take care, Dr. Richard, send my regards to your wife,” I told him. He nods, but Lilly protested.
“No, you have to check..” but I smiled at her, wrapping my arms around her arm.
“I’m doing fine, don’t worry about it. Let’s go.” I simply said, heading out.
“I think you should listen to your daughter. We don’t’ want it to get infected, especially what happen last year.” Dr. Richard said as I open the door. I look back.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry,” I said, ‘Plus, I can’t waste no more money.’ I shrug my head and left.
“Mom, why didn’t you get checked,” Lilly kept on complaining, while we went outside. Ciel stood next to me, wearing the same hat from before, with a long dark coat.
“I’m fine, healthy as a cow, well almost,” I said, while we turn to our right, heading down the street. Now getting nervous, if the police will recognize Ciel.
“You’re stubborn, I’m worried, and..” Lilly kept going. I sigh,
“Lillian, I’m not in the mood to be checked, please comprehend that. You don’t have to mother me, Remember I’m your mother,” I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. Lilly huffs out.
“Well sorry for worrying about you.” Lilly crosses her arms in a frustrated mater. Ciel frowns and clears his throat.
“If you want, you two can go back, I have to do something, before returning. Here’s some money,” he places his hands inside of his coat jacket pockets and takes out twenty dollars.
“Oi, where are you getting this money?” Lilly asks amazed. She was about to grab it, but I take her hand.
“Keep it, please.” I push Ciel hand back gently. He frowns at me.
“But mom,” she protested. I shook my head.
“Lilly, enough, we don’t take money from anyone,” I hissed at her. Ciel frowns, looking at his money.
“I don’t mind.” He said. I shook my head.
"Thank you Ciel, trust me, I'm very grateful for this kind gesture, but you need it as well." I told him, then turn to face Lilly.
“I need to go and buy some food, we are running out. So I want you to return back. Mrs. Morris is waiting for you at the hotel. Tell her I’ll be returning back before sundown. Please watch your brothers and sisters,” I said.
“I can help you shop.” She offers. I shook my head.
“Actually, I want you to help me cook tonight. Also, Evanly and Isabella wants to learn how to bake a cake. I want to teach them. I need you to clean the kitchen for me and I don’t trust the little ones with Mrs. Morris either.” I frowned, not liking to say this. Lilly eyes narrow.
“I get it. Sure, I’ll keep an eye.” she agrees to. I smiled at her.
“That’s my girl. Also, I’ll buy you a special treat.” I offered. She nods and pats Ciel’s arm.
“Have fun, enjoy your date.” she winks, as I blinked and Ciel rose a brow.
“Date?” we both said at the same time. She crosses the street, heading for the hotel that is about five buildings down from us.
I look at Ciel.
“I am sorry, that you had to take the cab here,” I said, feeling remorseful since he had to wait for us to leave so he can join us later.
“I don’t mind, remember, I’m hiding. You can go shopping, while I go do my things,” he says, turning around, placing his hands inside of his pockets. I bite my lower lip.
“Okay,” I whispered, feeling disappointed because I didn’t want to separate from him. I turned around, heading towards the grocery store. I pass some people and I smiled at them. Even though I don’t feel like smiling.
‘I have thirty dollars left. I can get enough food to last for a week or so, but not enough. I don’t get my allowance until the end of the month. I wish I can work or something.’ I stop in front of one of the grocery store. I took a big breath.
“Actually, my lady, I was wondering if you can come with me?” I heard on my right. I jump in fright, turning to face Ciel. He is smirking, his hand, leaning against the wall, with a playful glint in his dark eyes. My heart jumps a little, and couldn't help but smile at him.
“Sure, I’ll go with you anywhere, I’ll shop later,” I told him, as he chuckles.
“Good to know, is boring going alone,” he said, as he takes a hold of my hand, making me blush, but warm inside.
“Where are we?” I asked while we enter a strange place, not far from the plaza of the grocery store. We still held hands and I didn’t mind.
“Where my uncle works,” he said, while we made a right turn, of the alleyway, only to enter a large backyard space.
“Your uncle?” I whispered, he only nods.
There’s a bunch of men working on a rooftop, in an old chapel. I rub my arms when a man with dark curly hair turns around, wearing thick gloves and baggy clothes. His brown eyes landed on me. I suddenly felt weird.
“Hey, no trespassing!” he said with a slight accent. I licked my lips, while Ciel lets go of my hand and cross his arms.
“I came to see Paul,” he said. The man finally realized that Ciel is standing there.
“Boss? You just missed him by a hair, he just left five minutes ago,” he tells him. Ciel just nods, turning around to head back, but the man takes out his gloves, running his thick fingers through his dark hair, noticing he has freckles around his nose. I nervously laugh.
“Well, um, have a good day.” I wave, wanting to return back, not noticing that Ciel is watching me.
“Wait, is he your husband? If not, I was wondering if you would like to go and have something to eat. It’s rare to see a very beautiful woman pass down here.” he said. I stare at him, not believing this. I cleared my throat.
“Um, thank you for your offer, I..” but I felt an arm snake around my waist, as Ciel simply smirks at the guy. I look up at him, surprised, as he pushes me closer to him.
“Sorry mate, as you said, she’s with me,” Ciel tells him.
“Um, excuse us, sorry,” I bow, the poor man frowns disappointed.
“Lucky man, she’s a beauty and looks very gentle. Treat her well,” he said, turning around, heading back to his work. I actually blushed, while we turn around, Ciel lets go of me.
“We could have eaten with him. He looks nice,” I said. Ciel lowers his head to meet my eyes.
“He was flirting with you,” he simply said.
“Oh? Then why do you look bothered?” I questioned, while we got out of the alleyway, only for Ciel to go still. I lifted my gaze to see two guards walking our way. I took a hold of his hand.
“I apologize about this my lady, but I have no other choice,” he said rapidly, taking a hold of my arm, pinning me gently against the wall, he lowers his head to my level, tilting his hat forward, to cover his face. I stare at him with wide eyes, as his lips are dangerously close to mine. I wrap my hand around his arm, his right arm snakes around my waist once again.
‘Ciel, I don’t mind,’ I told him with my eyes, wishing he can understand me. His eyes roam my face, my chest rising hard.
The two guards pass right behind Ciel.
“Kids these days, has no shame at all,” I heard one of them say, as they leave. I stare at Ciel with wide eyes, my heart racing hard. He stares at me.
“I think we should move,” he whispers, clearing his throat, trying to cover his face, since it turned a bit pink. I slowly nodded. I frowned, placing my hand on my racing chest.
‘I wouldn’t mind if you kissed me. Even if I’m not like the other girls. I wouldn’t mind Ciel be the first to kiss me and only. God, what is happening to me?’
“Tell me a little about your uncle, if you don’t mind,” I asked, as we held lots of grocery bags while we walk back to the orphanage. Sadly, Ciel didn’t go with me to do grocery shopping. He waited for me in the dark ally, he was afraid he’ll get caught, I don’t blame him, but it made me sad.
“He is my father’s youngest brother. He made a living in the underground when he was young, somehow became rich out of it. He owns a company to fix the buildings. He was married twice, but both women left him and have no children. Is all I know of. Oh, he’s very manipulative and sometimes cold.” he says, while I look up at him.
“That’s a sad life he lives,” I told him. Ciel shrugs.
“Don’t care much about it,” he admits.
“He told me that I owe him a favor because he paid the government,” I finally told him, not sure why I brought this up. He stops in his tracks watching his back go rigid,
“That bastard, I told him to not get you involved,” he hissed through his teeth.
“Ciel?” I called out, getting worried, touching his arm. He looks down at me and shook his head.
“Is nothing. Just decline whatever favor he asks of you. I’ll deal with it,” he assures me.
“He told me that he’s going to clear your name. I.. I promise to protect you and take good care of you. That I can do. I’m not sure if I can deny him, though.” Ciel sighs.
“Let’s get back before Mrs. Morris gets mad,” he says tightly. I lower my head and nodded.
" You’re mad, aren’t you?” I guessed. He starts to walk ahead.
“No, I’m peachy, just peachy.” I frowned, running up to him, he looks down at me, his dark eyes relax a little.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. He sighs, and shook his head.
“Just tell me what he asks of you. Okay?” he asks of me. I nodded at him.
“Yes, Ciel. I will,” I smiled, as he coughs out a laugh.
“How do you always manage to lift my mood?” he whispers to himself, as I shyly look down.
‘Is the least I can do for him,’
“There you are child, is about time,” Mrs. Morris complains, while I place the bags on top of the table in the kitchen. I nervously laugh.
“Sorry. I was sidetracked,” I told her. Mrs. Morris shakes her head.
“Before I leave, I wanted to tell you that James will come over the next week. He misses the children. Also, be prepare Zara,” she said, while she walks towards the back door.
“Oh, he is, finally he’s coming and what should I prepare for?” I asked her now getting worried. Mrs. Morris looks at me, something seems to gleam in her eyes.
“James want’s to speak to you about this Paul character and about Mr. Don. Also, I think you should check on Armando. He’s been distance all day, almost afraid like he is afraid that man will return.” with that, she leaves. My body froze at her words, as Ciel enters the kitchen.
“Who is she talking about?” Apparently, Ciel heard the conversation. I look up at him, without thinking, I wrap my arms around his midsection, burying my face in his warm chest, trying to compose myself.
“Armando Stepfather.” I shivered in fright, as my memories of last year came back to me. I actually flinched. Ciel frowns at my words, not understanding it, yet he doesn’t question it.
“Don’t worry, whatever happens, I’ll be here, Remember two days ago, when you asked me, what should you do because you’re afraid that I make you feel safe?” he asks. I look up at him. He smiles gently and he cups my cheeks. I nodded, taking a hold of the side of his coat.
“My answer is, yes, be afraid of it,” he tells me. Yet, something in his dark eyes told me some other story. I feel more protected than ever. At this moment, I think my heart will burst at any moment. I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his warm broad torso. Inhaling his scent. He smells like cement, for a reason, it didn’t bother me because it mixes with the soap he has. He shyly wraps his arms around me once again.
“Don’t worry Ciel. I’ll be very afraid of this feeling because in the end, I won’t regret it. Thank you.”