Free Spirit

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Chapter 13


The sweet and soury aroma of berries drifted up my nose, tickling my senses awake. My left hand was filled with a large melon. I was having some kind of weird dream about fruit while my brain slowly emerged from a deep sleep.

“Get that oversized beast out of my ass,” Alexis mumbled. She made no effort to escape from me though.

And that melon in my hand? It was a breast. My best friend’s breast. And the beast was my dick.

Did we really spoon all night?

“Seriously, Paddy,” she said. “Put your weapon back in your holster and let go of my tit.”

I obliged with a heavy sigh, flipping onto my back while my dick throbbed angrily in my boxers. He wasn’t having a great time in Alaska.

“What’s your problem?” she grumbled.

“Nothing I can’t take care of in the shower.”

“Go do it then, and let me sleep.”

“It’s ten o’clock, Alexis.”


“You’re vacationing in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Why would you wanna spend half the day in bed?”

“I like to sleep in, Paddy.”

“I am aware of that,” I muttered. “It’s not my first day on planet Alexis.”

I took care of my hard-on in the shower, jerking off to inappropriate images of my best friend. Why even bother trying to think about a different woman? Alexis was the only one I wanted.

“What’s on the agenda today?” I asked before taking a sip of coffee.

“I don’t know,” Alexis said with a shrug. “Probably just chill.”

“The lady at the front desk gave me a map of some good places to find blueberries.” I smiled into my mug when her head jerked up. Alexis loved blueberries.



“And they’re safe to eat?”

“They’re blueberries! A blueberry is a blueberry. She gave me a list of all the different berries, including which ones not to eat.”

“What about bears?”

“We have bear spray.”

“How far is it?”

“Not that far.”

“What exactly does that mean, Paddy?”

“It’s a ten-minute hike. She said we don’t need a guide, but not to go any further on our own.”

“I guess I do need to burn off some of the excess calories I put on yesterday.”

“There you go.”

We set out from the marked trailhead behind the lodge, the peace and tranquility of the Alaskan wilderness surrounding us as our feet crunched along the dirt path. I listened closely to the birds, smiling when I recognized the muffled chainsaw of a puffin.

Alaska was a bird watcher’s paradise. And as an avid bird weirdo, as Alexis liked to refer to me, I was in my glory. The lodge offered a full-day bird watching trip, and unbeknownst to my indoor loving companion, we were booked to go the following day.

“There’s a lot of mosquitos out here,” Alexis whined, slapping at her arm.

“You covered yourself in bug spray.”

“It’s not working. They won’t leave me alone.”

“I guess you’re just too sweet for them to resist.”

“I’m not surprised you don’t have a girlfriend,” she snorted.

“Why’s that?”

“Your pickup lines are so cheesy.”

“I’m not trying to pick you up,” I laughed.

“Did you hear something?” she whispered, stopping so suddenly I almost knocked her over.


“Shh. Listen.”

“I hear it now. Sounds like moaning. Maybe somebody is hurt.”

A familiar voice echoed through the forest. “Oh God! Fuck me harder! Give it to me, Oskar!”

“Seriously?” I grumbled. “They have a cabin.”

“Outdoor sex is awesome, Paddy.”

“Sexy Lexy?”

“Don’t mind us,” Alexis said. “We’re on our way to pick blueberries.”

“There’s a dope patch right up ahead,” Osk said. “I ate too many though. Got a little gas.” He let out a long, wet sounding fart to prove it.

“Osk!” Silicone Princess shrieked. “Gross!”

“Everybody farts, babe,” he chuckled.

They emerged from the trees a moment later, their disheveled hair and clothing leaving no doubt as to what they’d been up to.

Alexis dashed toward a huge bush overflowing with blueberries, grabbing handfuls and shoving them in her mouth.

“I guess it’s safe to say she likes blueberries,” Silicone Princess chuckled.

“She sure does,” I confirmed, smiling as I watched her fill her basket.

That’s why she has blueberry flavoured lube,” Osk chuckled. “If you want a really long blow job, all you gotta do is smear that shit all over your cock and balls.”

“Thanks for the tip,” I muttered.

Osk was a strange guy. He tried to steal my girlfriend at the wedding, and now he was sharing sex tips. Did he even remember what happened the night before?

“Any time, dude,” he said, slapping me on the back. “I’m all about sharing. Us guys gotta stick together.”

Movement by the stream caught my eye, followed by a low-pitched moan.

“Holy shit,” I whispered. “It’s a moose.”

The beautiful creature lifted its enormous head, staring right at us before turning to look at Alexis. She froze, her basket of berries slipping from her fingers while the moose studied her.

“Stand still,” I instructed, my voice shaking as we waited to see if it would walk away. That’s what moose usually did, according to the wildlife guide in our cabin. They weren’t generally confrontational, and they were herbivores. But moose were quite territorial. They didn’t like to share their space with humans. And they would charge if they felt threatened.

Osk started yelling and waving his arms, drawing the moose’s attention back to us. He grunted, his ears going back as he started pawing at the ground. Alexis screamed before tripping and toppling backwards into the bush.

“You’re supposed to be quiet,” I hissed.

“They said to make noise if you saw one.”

“That’s for bears!”

“Shit. That doesn’t work on moose?”

“Does it look like it’s working?” I snapped.

“No!” he cried when the moose started moving towards us.

The moose seemed fixated on Osk, so I started moving slowly toward Alexis. Silicone Princess just stood there, obviously too scared to move.

“C’mon,” I whispered, holding out my hand to Alexis.

“I’m caught on something.”

I leaned forward, tugging on her arm.

“Paddy, stop! I’m stuck.”

“What are you caught on?”

“I don’t know.”

“Your bra is caught on a branch.”


“Because your straps are outside your tank top.”

“Can you get me unstuck?”

The moose’s grunts were getting louder. I glanced over my shoulder to see what he was doing. He was getting ready to charge.

“We need to climb a tree or something,” I whispered. “The moose is mad.”

“Hurry up and get me unstuck then!”

“I’m gonna have to rip off your shirt and bra.”


“Do you have a better idea? Because I don’t really feel like getting trampled by a moose.”

“Fine. Just do it. But don’t look.”

“Looking at your tits is not really high on my priority list right at this moment,” I grumbled as I ripped her tank top down the front before reaching behind her to release the clasp on her bra.

She wiggled out of it, her full breasts spilling forth before she folded her arms over them. I could say I didn’t look, but I’d be lying. Alexis’s tits were perfect. Delicious mountains of creamy flesh sitting high on her chest, her large pink nipples hardening when the cool air hit them.

“Stop staring at my boobs,” she barked.

I pulled my T-shirt over my head and handed it to her before pulling her up. “I hope you remember how to climb a tree.”

She shimmied up the nearest tree. “Does that answer your question?”

“Is that branch strong enough for both of us?”

“Should be fine.”

Should be is not very reassuring,” I muttered as I made my way up the trunk.

“You can stay down there if you’re worried about it.”

The moose hadn’t charged yet, but he continued to grunt and paw at the ground. He had no intention of backing down.

I pulled myself up on the thick branch, settling next to Alexis.

“Drummer boy isn’t too bright. He thought he was supposed to make noise to scare it away.”

“What should we do?” she whispered.

“There’s no cell coverage out here. Not much we can do.”

“We’re just supposed to sit here and watch while the moose attacks them?”

“As opposed to what?” I asked, opening up my camera app on my phone.

“I don’t know!” she cried.

The moose charged across the clearing. Osk took off down the path, his girlish screams slicing through the quiet forest. Silicone Princess stood completely still, her face eclipsed in terror while the moose debated his next move.

“Osk is quite the gentleman,” I snorted.

The moose ambled toward the princess, sniffing her gently as if he was taking care not to poke her with his antlers. His massive tongue emerged from his jowls, licking her face before he turned and disappeared in the opposite direction that Osk went.

“Wow,” Alexis gasped.

“Pretty amazing,” I agreed.

“Do you think it’s safe to get down?” she whispered.

“Let’s give it a few minutes, in case he comes back.”

“What about her?”

“He likes her. She’ll be fine.”

“Why is she still standing there?”

“I think she’s in shock.”

“Thanks for saving me, Paddy.”

“That’s what friends are for.” I turned to face her, leaning forward to give her a peck on the cheek. “Nice tits, by the way.”

“You promised you wouldn’t look!”

“I did no such thing.”

“Well, now I get to see your dick.”

“How do you figure?”

“You saw mine. It’s only fair I get to see yours.”

“Um, I did not get to see yours. Tits and dicks are not equal. And you can see my tits right now. So we’re even.”

“No way!”

“Can you imagine if we put this on YouTube?” Miles chuckled, shaking his head as he watched the video on my phone for the third time.

“Not gonna happen, dude,” Osk said. “What happens in Alaska, stays in Alaska.”

“I think that’s Vegas,” Hannah said.

“You need to delete that shit,” he ordered, pointing at me. “You signed a confidentiality agreement.”

“True,” I said. “But Miles didn’t sign one. And I already sent him a copy of the video.”

“Dude, c’mon,” he whined. “I thought we were buds now.”

“You are?” Alexis glanced back and forth between us. “When did this happen?”

“You didn’t tell her about the birds, man?” Osk laughed.

“No. I haven’t had a chance.”

“Oh fuck,” Miles muttered. “There’s only one kind of bird Osk is interested in.”

“That is not true, Reef. You don’t know me at all.”

“Oh yes, I do.”

“Tell him, Paddy Wagon.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Why? It’s a cool nickname.”

“What are you guys up to?” Alexis asked, poking me in the shoulder.

“We’re going on a bird-watching tour tomorrow.”

“Who is we?”

“Osk and me.”

She tilted her head, her brows raised while she opened and closed her mouth several times before she finally found her words. “You and Osk are going bird-watching?”



“I love birds.”

“I know that. But why is he going?”

“Yes,” Miles chimed in. “Why are you going bird-watching, Osk? You know that it’s not to look at pussy, right?”

“I like birds.”

“Real birds? Like the ones that fly?”


“Yer yankin me!” Miles exclaimed, mimicking his drummer.

“He’s not,” I said. “He’s actually quite knowledgeable about birds.”

“I think that’s great, Osk,” Hannah said. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“How come none of us knew about this?” Miles asked.

“Cause I figured you’d make fun of me.”

“We wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, we would!” Lance called out from the table next to us.

“Shut up, asshole! You’re afraid of fireworks!”

Lance’s busty blonde companion burst out laughing. “You’re afraid of fireworks?”

“I’m not afraid,” he scoffed. “I just don’t like them.”

“Why?” she asked.

“I just don’t!” he snapped. “Can we drop it?”

Osk leaned back in his chair. “He’s afraid of the noise,” he whispered, rubbing the woman’s shoulder. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

“Except moose,” Lance said. “You went screaming through the forest, and left your girlfriend to fend it off by herself. You’re a real man, Osk.”

“Where is she anyway?” Miles asked.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “She’s not speaking to me right now.”

Alexis scowled. “How come you didn’t ask me to go?”

You want to go on a bird-watching cruise?” I laughed.

“I might.”

“Well, you’re welcome to come.”

“Fine. I will come.”

“It’s all day.”

All day?”


“It’s on a boat?”


“That sounds tolerable.”

“Dope,” Osk laughed. “Can you convince my girlfriend to come, too?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

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