Damaged

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Chapter Ten

N O A H

There was nothing left of the girl I met in Isaac’s living room four years ago.

I stared at her in the rain, her shirt sticking to her skin and showing me curves and details I had only seen in my wildest dreams.

She had definitely changed since we met, and I had no idea she would make it harder for me to keep my distance by doing so.

I would never be good enough for her. My mind was a dangerous place and I had made it my mission to never let her see. Never let her know.

“Get,” I said, reinforcing my words by taking a step closer to her—a very treacherous move. “In,” one more step, “the car.”

She stared up at me with those big blue eyes, scoffing.

I couldn’t pull away. Not yet. Moments like these were rare. Where I could enjoy her beauty without raising any suspicion or insinuate certain feelings. One of the few things that seemed to make me feel something these days. Something good.

So I took everything I could get.

It took all of me not to lower my eyes to her chest again—a mistake I made earlier—and see those tantalizing peaks that were currently threatening to rip the fabric of her shirt.

To prevent myself from doing something I’d regret, I finally turned around and did the only thing I could think of. The thing I always did when I was near Bellamy. Be a dick.

“Stop being a brat and get in.”

She opened her mouth, but I wasn’t done. “I came to bail you out of jail for god knows what in the middle of the night and made sure to delete the voicemail on the answering machine at home so Isaac wouldn’t find out before you got a chance to tell him yourself. And this is how you’re going to act?”

She shifted on her feet and for a second I saw the girl from years ago. Chewing on her lower lip, she kept her eyes on the ground.

“And stop doing that,” I added. I knew she didn’t do it on purpose, which made it even harder to resist.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, and I felt my stomach turn. The fire in her eyes had disappeared, and I didn’t get the comeback I expected. Shit.

“Let’s go home.”


The drive back to the house was silent, and none of us made an attempt to start a conversation. We both knew it was pointless anyway.

By the time we made it home, I could think a little clearer.

Bellamy stormed into the house, swaying a little as she kicked off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

I watched her like a freak. Her hair stuck to her face and neck, her shirt still as see-through as before, and her makeup had run down her face in black streaks. It gave her something sad, hollow.

It was hard not to see that she could get carried away a little too much when she drank, and after the conversation I overheard last week, I had been wondering.

“What?” she snapped, catching me staring.

I focused on her face and narrowed my eyes at specks of red on her skin. How had I not seen that before?

She jumped slightly when I walked up to her, but I ignored it. I only had eyes for the cut on her cheek. Who hurt her?

“Noah,” she breathed, and the throaty sound almost made my knees buckle.

I grabbed her jaw with force—yet gently—and pulled her closer, turning her head from side to side.

“You’re hurt,” I stated, scanning her face with my brows furrowed.

“I’m fine.” She stared back at me, but after a few seconds—for some reason—her eyes softened.

She placed her small hand on my wrist, and the contact startled me, be it not as much as usual, and definitely not bringing up memories I tried to suppress. “Noah,” she said again, just as soft as the first time. “I’m alright.”

I let her go, and her arms fell limp at her sides.

“Come on.” I beckoned her to follow me with a nudge of my head, and she opened her mouth to protest.

I didn’t expect anything less, but I ignored her and didn’t give her the chance to say anything. Instead, I made my way up the stairs and into the bathroom, rummaging through the cupboard above the sink for some disinfectant.

“Sit,” I commanded when she appeared next to me, and for the first time since she came to live here, she did as I said.

I ignored the little spark it ignited in me, and brushed her hair out of her face.

“You don’t—” She hissed as I pressed a cotton ball onto her face, carefully cleaning up the leftover makeup and dried blood.

Again, I took the opportunity to really look at her. The blue in her eyes stood out against her flushed skin, and I admired the way they seductively looked up at me through her lashes.

I was sure she didn’t mean to look this way—desirable.

And it made it better.

I cursed myself for the thoughts that shot through my mind since we first met.

Those unicorn pajamas looked innocent enough, but the length of the shorts told a different story. Years I had been wondering what had been tucked away under the rest—

“Noah.” Her voice brought me back, and I saw the confusion in her eyes. Yeah, I had no idea what I was doing either.

“You’re fine.” I turned and threw away the cotton ball, handing her a wet washcloth to clean the rest of her face. I couldn’t do it.

She blinked rapidly, as if she woke from some trance too, and snatched the washcloth from my hand.

The few seconds our fingers touched were enough to make me see stars, and I rushed out of the bathroom as quickly as I could, slamming the door behind me.

Back in my room, I let myself fall face-first on my bed, trying to continue the dreamless sleep I was in before the house phone rang earlier.


My alarm was very loud that morning. Especially considering I had barely slept.

All night, I had been thinking about one particular girl, and scolding myself for doing so.

Bellamy had no business being in my mind, yet after she had done so for four years, I should’ve expected it.

Groaning, I sat up in bed, noticing that I still wore yesterday’s clothes. I had taken off my shoes during the night, and my jacket had made it to the floor too eventually, but I was still in my uncomfortable jeans.

Deciding to take a nice shower, I stripped down to my boxers and grabbed my phone.

Scrolling through Spotify, I chose a playlist, and when I was about to press play and open the door to the bathroom, I froze.

The door was locked, and I heard water sloshing around.

Sigh. Bellamy had beat me to it.

Turning in my heel, I stopped again, because now I heard other sounds coming from inside. Sounds that made the hairs in my neck stand up, and test the amount of stretch in my underwear.

“Fuck...”

A moan came from behind the door and I swallowed, all my blood immediately flooding to my groin.

Goldilocks was...oh god.

I should’ve walked away. I should’ve shielded my ears and go back to my room, but my body simply couldn’t.

I was a fucking creep, standing there listening to Bella touching herself, and it took everything in me to eventually pull myself from the door.

Only one step later, I froze for the third time—my ears picking up the greatest of sounds.

“Oh, Noah...”

A small smile danced on my lips, and I rushed to my room, closing the door quickly behind me.

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