Damaged

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Chapter Thirty-Five

B E L L A M Y

It was hard to forget my little outburst from that morning when I arrived at work, and as the day went by, I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

Would Isaac tell Noah I was the one who told him? And if not, he would immediately know anyway, so either way—I’m fucked.

“Is the walk home not too far?” Kelly asked, and Reed—who was about to take over from me—gave her a questioning look.

“I’ll be fine,” I replied, ignoring the worried looks of my co-workers and packing my bag.

Kelly was about to say something else, but I was already halfway out of the shop.

She had quickly become one of my closest friends, but keeping her mouth shut wasn’t one of her talents.

I carefully opened the front door when I came home, scared to see Noah. Did Isaac already say something? He and Kelly really deserved each other with the way they couldn’t just keep stuff to themselves.

The living room was empty, and I sighed in relief. Maybe everything was fine.

I decided to go upstairs and lay in bed for a minute, exhaustion getting the better of me.

Before I could let myself fall onto the sheets, someone called out my name from across the hall. Correction; Noah did.

Here we go.

“Bellamy?” he spoke again, following me into my room and grabbing me by my waist. He twirled me around until I landed against his chest, and he pressed his lips on mine.

I think it was safe to say that Isaac didn’t tell Noah anything—yet, but I couldn’t keep it from him anyway. I made a mistake and I should own up to it.

“Noah...” I trialed off, carefully pushing him off.

“Yes?”

I guided him to the bed and started pacing in front of him, wondering what would be the best way to do this.

“I need to tell you something,” I said, stopping in place to prevent myself from getting dizzy.

He leaned back on his hands and watched me as I chewed on my bottom lip.

“Is it bad?” he asked, and I nodded slowly. Betraying someone’s trust is one of the worst things you could do. “I’m sure it’s not.”

I let out a breath, tucking strands of hair behind my ear as I looked at my feet. “I accidentally told Isaac about your...your past.”

My eyes slowly moved to Noah’s face, which didn’t show me any sign of what he was thinking.

Oh, god. He was probably fuming.

“You did what?” he whispered, his eyes widened slightly as he stared up at me.

“It slipped out.”

I gasped when he suddenly jumped up—his face definitely looking angry right now—and stormed out of my room.

My entire body was shaking and a cold shiver went down my spine. The thought that I had driven him away crept up on me and I felt tears burning behind my eyes.

“You sure make me cry a lot, little one,” I mumbled, caressing a hand over my stomach. Or maybe I just made myself cry a lot.

I wasn’t sure what to do next. Noah had slammed his door behind him when he disappeared in his room, and I debated going after him.

Did he need a second to himself? Or was this the moment I was supposed to follow him and beg for forgiveness?

Guilt almost crushed me as I sunk onto the edge of my bed, just where Noah sat a couple of minutes earlier. Was I going to be scared little Bellamy from years ago? Or was I going to woman up and face the music?

I decided on the latter and I made my way across the hall, lifting my hand to knock on Noah’s door.

Hesitating, I took my bottom lip between my teeth again. Was this a good idea?

Before I could answer the question, Noah’s door opened and the man himself appeared in front of me with a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

“Noah...” I breathed out, looking up into his eyes, tears falling from my own. “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t react apart from stepping back and letting me in.

“Who else did you tell?” he said softly, his voice strained as he tried to keep calm. But maybe I wanted him to yell at me, scold me.

“Nobody. I promise.”

He scoffed, running his hands through his hair. He probably had a good reason not to tell Isaac about his childhood, and as much as I wanted to know, that was his business. Oh, god, I really fucked up.

“And how will I know that you’re telling the truth?”

I wiped my tears, trying to keep my face dry—though it was pointless.

The lump in my throat didn’t go away, and the tears didn’t either.

“I...”

“I told you that because I trusted you. Because I thought you—never mind.” He shook his head, letting himself fall back against the wall and looking at the ceiling.

“I love you,” I said softly, walking up to him and placing a hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat under my fingers. “Please, what can I do to make it better?”

“Bellamy,” he warned, but I was determined.

“Please.”

He studied my face, his eyes stopping on my tears as he thought. The silence was killing me, and I had almost given up when he spoke.

"Beg.”

I blinked rapidly, backing up ever so slightly. “What?”

“Get on your knees,” he said as he brought his face closer to mine, grabbing me by my chin. “And beg for me.”

I swallowed hard, slowly dropping on one leg. Noah had to power to let me do anything for him, and no matter how toxic it may have sounded, I loved it.

His words stirred something inside me, and though I was still a little scared that he would hate me forever, I felt something different too.

Finally on my knees in front of him, I took a deep breath. My entire life I had told myself that I would never beg for anything, bow to anyone, but Noah...

“Please, don’t leave me,” I pleaded softly, grabbing him by his shirt. “I’m sorry. Please.”

He looked down on me, leaning forward. “Louder.”

A little embarrassed that he was making me grovel at his feet, I took another breath. “Please, Noah. I can’t lose you. Please forgive me.”

He guided me up by my chin, walking me back until my legs hit his bed, and he pushed me onto it.

I held my breath as he climbed on top of me, kissing me roughly and ripping open my button-up. He paused, and it took me a few seconds to understand that he was waiting on me to go on—or not.

As if there was ever a time I didn’t want to rip his clothes off and have him pound into me.

I reached behind me and undid my bra, removing all the fabric from my chest as I laid beneath him. He undressed me further, throwing my clothes on the ground behind him.

Nerves swarmed my stomach as I waited for his next move, and I gasped when he flipped me over like I weighed nothing.

The sound of his belt buckle made me shiver with anticipation, my core probably drenched when I felt his tip at my entrance.

He simultaneously pushed my face into the mattress and his cock into me, grabbing my hair in his fist to make sure I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Oh, god,” I moaned, my eyes rolling back into my head and my hands clamping the sheets below me to cope with the pleasure.

Noah started to pound into me hard, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I balanced on the edge between pleasure and pain again, my walls clenching around his dick.

His aggressive movements and the way he held me down—used me, added to the euphoric feeling, and right as I was already sensing the buildup to my orgasm, he slowed down.

“I’m gonna—” It was gone as fast as it came.

Noah brought his lips to my ear, still moving in and out of me at a treacherous slow pace. “You what? You want to come, little slut?”

I nodded frantically against the sheets, and his grip on my hair tightened. “Beg.”

A shriek left my lips when his free hand landed hard on my ass, urging me to speak up. “Please. I beg you, let me come.”

My eyes watered as he slapped me harder, and my core throbbed, begging for an orgasm.

“Louder.”

“Please!” I screamed out, all the nerves in my body ready to give in, but needing that final push. Which, fortunately for me, Noah gave me.

He sped up again, rubbing two fingers over my clit to slam me over the edge.

“Oh, Noah!” I exclaimed, my voice a little muffled by the mattress under me, and I tightened my walls, stars appearing in front of my eyes as I came.

He pushed in a final few times, chasing his own orgasm, but I almost felt numb after I came down from my high. In a good way.

As soon as he pulled out, I collapsed on the bed. Noah left the room, but before I could start overthinking, he came back with a washcloth.

After he had cleaned me up, he redressed himself and dropped on the bed next to me, pulling me against his chest in one swift motion.

“I forgive you,” he mumbled against my hair, and I looked up at him.

“I really am sorry,” I replied, my eyes lowering to his lips before they returned to Noah’s green gaze.

“I know.” He kissed me softly, tenderly moving against me unlike a couple of minutes ago.

We stayed like that, kissing and just simply being with each other, until my stomach rumbled. I hadn’t even realized that we didn’t have dinner yet.

Noah shot up in bed, jumping off. “Have you eaten today?”

I frowned at his worried expression, slowly sitting up myself.

He threw a t-shirt and some underwear at me, gathering my clothing and tossing it on the laundry pile.

“Yes, of course,” I replied, dressing myself, and I got even more confused when he held out his hand for me.

“I can get off the bed by myself just fine.” Noah rolled his eyes at my retort, grabbing me by my waist and placing me on the ground next to him. Before I could scold him, he pecked me on the nose and walked out of the room.

I couldn’t help but smile, following him downstairs.

“Isaac will be home soon—” Noah started, but he was interrupted.

“Already home,” Isaac grumbled, keeping his eyes on the floor and his brows furrowed. Jesus, again?

“I’m sorry,” I said softly, walking up behind him.

He rubbed his hands in his eyes, pulling me quickly against his chest. “I’m happy for you,” he whispered against the top of my head, so soft I almost missed it.

I looked up at him. “I’m happy for you, too.”

Noah grabbed the ingredients for dinner from the fridge and placed a cutting board on the counter, ready to start cooking.

Over the weeks I had noticed that being in the kitchen really was Noah’s favorite thing, and that if he had culinary freedom he was at his best.

I admired his passion, as much as it made me fall in love with him even more. Ok, and it’s hot.

The ground beef sizzled as he stirred it around in the pan, and a sudden wave of nausea hit me like a truck.

“Oh, god,” I breathed out, slapping a hand in front of my mouth and making a beeline for the bathroom.

“Bella?” Isaac called after me, but I was already throwing up the contents of my stomach in the toilet. There were no words to describe how much I hated this part of being pregnant.

“Bellamy?” Isaac had followed me and was lowering to his knees behind me, gathering my hair. “Maybe you should see a doctor. You’ve been feeling awful for more than a week now. I worry about you.”

I wiped my face with some toilet paper and flushed, turning to sit against the cold, tiled wall. With everything going on—especially worrying about Noah’s reaction to my news—I hadn’t even thought about Isaac.

We lived in the same house yet he had no idea that I had a baby growing inside me. Sure, I wasn’t showing yet, but wouldn’t it just be fair that he knew?

So, the words came out before I could properly think them through.

“I’m pregnant.”

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