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Chapter Forty-One


My entire body hurt. I felt like I broke my back in three places, I had a constant headache, and overall I just felt like shit altogether.

I had just seen glimpses of Noah after the trial.

Apparently, he had found an apartment somewhere in town, and he had been walking in and out of the house to move all week.

Just like the last month, I barely left my room.

Apart from the fact that I didn’t want people to see what a weak bitch I was, I was exhausted.

But, that entire week, I didn’t sleep. Constantly tossing and turning to get comfortable prevented me from closing my eyes for a few hours, but it was the way I had been treating Noah that kept me awake most of the time.

I had been an absolute dick to him, and he didn’t deserve it. Nor was it his fault that Maria...

With a lump in my throat, I pushed the pillow between my knees away, and slowly sat up.

I took a minute to breathe while I sat on the edge of my bed, just taking my time to get up.

Once I finally arrived downstairs after about half an hour, I sat down across from Isaac at the dinner table.

“Hey,” he greeted with a smile, quickly jumping from his seat and rounding the table.

He hugged me from behind and I chuckled softly.

“Oh, she smiles,” Isaac exclaimed, putting the kettle on and grabbing a cup. He placed a tea bag with my favorite tea inside and joined me at the table as we waited for the water to boil.

“I love you,” I mumbled, caressing a hand over my stomach.

“Are you talking to me or...”

I nodded, shifting in my seat to get a little bit more comfortable.

Isaac got me my tea, and I warmed my hands on it, blowing the steam off the top before I spoke. “I wanted to ask you a question.”


I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering if Noah even wanted to see me. Ever.

“Bella?” Isaac raised his brows at me, waiting for my question, and I sighed.

“Can you take me to Noah?” I moved my hands to my lap, fighting with the hem of my shirt. Now I was bothering my brother. Maybe he had stuff to do. Maybe he had a date with Kelly. Or he just didn’t want to do anything today and I just asked him to—

“Of course,” he replied, his face lighting up when the words left my lips.

I brushed a hand over my face, taking a sip from my tea.

“But maybe...” Isaac added, frowning slightly as he looked at me. “Maybe you should eat something first.”

After Isaac made me some lunch and I nearly inhaled the sandwich, he helped me in the passenger seat of his car and took off down the street.

I closed my eyes for a second and the ride to Noah’s new place felt to last exactly that long, since not even ten minutes later, Isaac put the car in park and got out.

The neighborhood around us had changed—not for the better—and I smiled at large oak trees that created a canopy of leaves over the road. Shady, but beautiful.

“No, no, no.” Isaac appeared next to me when I wanted to step out, and he held out his hand for me. “Let me help you.”

I gave him a small smile, grunting as I got my fat ass out of the car, and I felt guilty about the way I was using him for support. I felt like a whale, and I probably weighed a ton, which didn’t make it better. Being pregnant definitely isn’t good for your self-esteem.

We slowly walked up the large, concrete building, and Isaac pressed the button for what I assumed to be Noah’s new home.

Since I wanted to surprise him, and because I wasn’t sure if he even wanted to see me, I asked Isaac not to mention me when Noah picked up. The amazing brother that he was, he didn’t, and once the front door opened, he helped me into the building and to the right floor.

Waiting outside Noah’s apartment, I shifted on my feet, desperate for a chair or a couch—basically anything I could sit on and relieve my back.


A small gasp left my lips when the door opened and Noah appeared in front of me, tears prickling behind my eyes.

He was still the most handsome man I had ever seen, and as soon as I looked into his eyes, I felt the biggest wave of guilt wash over me.

“Hi,” I said softly, shooting a quick look in Isaac’s direction when he took off.

“Bellamy,” Noah breathed, surprising me by leaping forward and pulling me against his chest. “I love you,” he whispered into my ear, and a single tear trailed down my cheek at his words.

“I love you, too,” I replied with a squeaky voice, realizing that we were still outside of his apartment when my legs almost gave out from underneath me.

“Get in, get in,” Noah said, helping me into his home and closing the door behind me.

I caught a glimpse of white walls in a small hallway, and looked around when we arrived in the living room.

Cardboard boxes laid scattered around the room, but we managed to reach the couch. The piece of furniture looked a little weathered, but once I sunk into the pillows, all I could think about was the temporary pain release.

“How are you feeling?” Noah asked as he kneeled in front of me, placing his palms on my thighs and softly caressing up and down.

I looked at his worried expression, the way he treated me making me feel worse. So...I burst out crying. Again.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed, placing my hands over my eyes. “So, so sorry.”

I felt a hand go to my wrist, pulling my hands from my face so Noah could look at me.

“Bellamy...” he said softly, cupping my face and giving me a small smile.

“I have been such a bitch to you. And what I said the other day, in the courthouse—”

“Shh,” Noah interrupted me, raising from his kneeled position and taking a seat next to me. “It’s alright. I know you’re hurting.”

His words made the floodgates fully open, letting everything out. Why did I even spend all these weeks alone? Did I really think Noah wouldn’t be there for me? That he would judge me?

The way he pulled me against his chest told me something different, and I clawed his shirt to keep him close. It felt like he was my lifeline, the only one who could ease my pain ever so slightly these days.

Especially this last week, with everything going on, I missed Maria more than ever. She would have slapped me in the face if she saw me like this, and give me another punch in the shoulder for the way I’ve been isolating myself.

“I’m sorry,” I squeaked out again, holding an arm under my belly as I shifted on the couch, closer to Noah.

I slowly leaned forward, trying to read his face as I hesitantly brought my lips to his.

He brushed his thumb over my cheek, pulling me in, and it was all the confirmation I needed.

I poured all my emotions into this kiss, but he wasn’t close enough. It was hard to explain what I felt, but I knew that I never wanted to be apart from him ever again.

“Noah,” I breathed out, knowing full well that my stomach was in the way, but I needed him. We would find a way. If he wanted to...

“Bellamy, you’re exhausted,” he stated, his voice dripping with pity. And I hated it.

“I need you,” I whispered against his lips, opening my eyes and pleading with them.

“Let’s get a little bit more comfortable.” He shook his head, getting back on his feet and helping me up.

For the first time in a while, I felt something else than grief and anger. I was excited. I felt love, and maybe even saw a little glimmer of happiness.

Noah’s new bedroom was bigger than I expected, and apart from a few boxes that stood against the dresser, the tidiest room in the house.

“I’ve missed you,” I mumbled, sitting on the edge of his bed and watching him take off his shirt. I admired the artwork that covered his chest and arms, smiling at his piercing.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he whispered back, leaning forward and kissing me softly on the lips.

I was grateful when he crouched down in front of me, taking off my shoes and socks, caressing his hands over my legs up to reach for the top of my leggings.

He undressed me with care, and there wasn’t a single minute I felt insecure under his gaze.

Once he was naked too, he helped me into the bed, supporting my stomach and back with pillows as I laid on my side.

I felt the area between my legs get wet with anticipation, especially when my eyes noticed Noah’s rock-hard erection.

But I knew this wasn’t going to be our usual fuck. This was different.

Noah crawled on the bed next to me, leaning back slightly so his hips could reach mine, and I gasped softly when I felt his tip at my entrance.

“Sure?” he asked, and I nodded frantically.

A loud moan left my lips when he filled me to the hilt, and I grabbed his shoulder with my free hand to take the force. It felt good—amazing even, and when I opened my eyes I looked into Noah’s.

“I want to kiss you,” he said, digging his teeth in his lower lip as he started to move in and out of me.

With my brows furrowed, I lifted my leg over his, almost unable to reply because of the feeling of him inside of me.

“We can try,” I managed to say, leaning forward as much as possible without getting uncomfortable.

Noah did the same, one hand on my stomach as he managed to press his lips on mine.

Our breaths and the sound of skin slapping on skin filled the room, and I got lost in Noah once again.

I felt something heavy on my chest, and my fingers dug deeper in Noah’s shoulder as he quickened his pace. I felt the euphoric feeling we were chasing slowly creeping up on me and I clenched my teeth.

Looking into each other’s eyes once again, Noah moved his hand to my forehead, brushing a strand of hair out of my face as he slammed into me a final few times, pushing me over the edge.

His brows furrowed and he let out the most beautiful sound as my walls tightened around his length, and we came in unison, moaning into each other’s mouths.

“I love you,” he said out of breath, pulling out of me when we came down from our high so he could get closer to my face.

“I love you, too,” I panted, moving my hand over the valley between his shoulder and neck to his face, cupping his jaw as I pressed my lips on his.

It was easy to get lost in him again, and even though my body was spent, I knew I couldn’t get enough of him.

So, I savored this moment, smiling against Noah’s mouth when he opened mine with his lips. His tongue searched for mine before they danced together in perfect harmony.

Then, he suddenly pulled away, and I looked at my stomach.

“What was that?” Noah asked, gasping when another kick from our little one made my belly move, and I chuckled.

“What do you think?”

He looked up, smiling at me. “You’re laughing.”

I felt my cheeks heat up, and I slowly sat up, using Noah for support as I carefully got off the bed.

“You’ve got that effect on me, I guess,” I retorted, and Noah’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. Maybe because we just made love, or maybe because I hadn’t laughed in weeks, especially around him.

The thought almost ruined my mood, but that was near impossible at this point.

“Here.” Noah handed me one of his T-shirt’s and a pair of joggers, helping me in them.

We both laughed at the way the fabric stretched over my stomach, but our smiles faded when something wet spread over the crouch of the sweatpants.

“Oh my god.” Noah looked from the stain to my face, and I grabbed his hands tightly when I realized what just happened.

“Did—” he tried, cutting himself off.

“The baby’s coming.”

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