Dear Dr. Hail
Dear Dr. Hail,
I guess there’s no reason for me to grace you with my presence at the office today. I’d like to think that getting better is the same as throwing away the old problem and getting new ones. So therapy isn’t for me. So you don’t need to be sucking all the money out of my father’s bank account. He has enough to worry about. So I’ve written this to keep your mind at ease about how my life progressed since I saw you when I was 17. You’ve known me since the accident and I can’t imagine myself without your… I can’t even finish that sentence. I know it isn’t true. So now that you know that I didn’t not get better in all these years I guess I should get on with the reason this letter is in your hands right now. I’ve had one heck of a high school career. And if you even think that I was the star quarterback or point guard, I might need to punch you in your little psychiatrist head. So now that you have retired and I am still not “cured” I must tell you what happened in the years I spent skipping sessions with you. So get yourself a glass of water and a soft recliner.
You’ve got a lot of reading to do. (That water could be
alcohol if you prefer).