Chapter 1
I run fast. But not fast enough to run away from him. And every time, if I notice him too late, a new bruise may appear on my body.
I thought it would be easy to spend one year in a new school. I had to transfer because my dad got a job in this town.XX
I wasn’t popular in my previous school, I was simply invisible. “Nerd”... “bookworm”... “dork”... Those are the words I usually heard behind my back. I don’t know if I should blame my shyness and excessive love of books, my weakness and slender physique. And yet, transferring to a new school, I was full of hope. No one there knew me, maybe I could change everything?
And on the very first day I got a flick so strong that my glasses fell off.
“Watch it, you moron!”
Then there was a push to the shoulder and I fell. I heard loud laughter. I thought I’d just opened the door to one of my nightmares. However, I had no idea that this was just the beginning.
Today I spotted him early, it saved me a couple of minutes, which was enough to jump out into the corridor, while he looked around the others scurrying back and forth. Soon I’ll turn to a hare, I swear. Get me a pair of long ears to catch the slightest sound. But I would rather have a pair of sharp fangs.
I need to slip into the classroom a little before the teacher, but not too early... Here she is, Mrs. Kerry. The first class is math. Mrs. Kerry is strict. If I go in after her, she will leave me standing at the door until the end of the class, and I don’t need extra attention. So I outrun her by a couple of steps and enter the classroom. I have enough time to get to my place when she comes into the class. But... My desk is not here... I do not dare to look at him directly, only out of the corner of my eye. It’s his doing, no doubt. Why does he do it to me?
Every day I ask myself this question, and I can’t find the answer.
“Stone, are you going to stand there all day or I can start the lesson?“Mrs. Kerry says in her usually annoyed voice.
“I don’t have a desk,” I say.
“What do I care? Sit down.”
I see a smile on his face. Never before have I seen a person who would enjoy to pick on me so much. I silently turn around and leave the classroom. Yes, I will get detention. Again.
I go to the library, the only place in school where I feel safe, open a math textbook and go through today’s topic.
At recess I never go down to the school canteen, and there are two reasons for that. The first reason is him, Logan Douglas, who will be inexpressibly pleased to see today’s special on my head. And the second... the same thing happened in the previous school. The Shining.
There is a theory that for someone it starts earlier, for someone - later, eventually it will happen to everyone. Everyone finds their other half, their mate, their soul mate. The shining of heart is a silent and absolutely sincere declaration of love, which can neither be imitated nor hidden. And then people split into pairs and shine.
My heart is not shining. And for me no one’s heart shines too.
I naively believed that maybe in a new school I would... but...
I try to reassure myself that my time has not come yet, but I find it unbearable to see this shining. I dine on the lawn near the school stadium, behind the bleachers. There is usually no one here.
Not this time.
Some high school student brought a girl here to cuddle. She giggles happily, and he pushes her against the wall.
It’s... Logan Douglas. Lunch won’t go down my throat anymore.
I watch them, I can’t look away. I can’t explain why. The girl tries to unbutton his jacket, but Logan sharply pulls her hand, teases her.
It dawns on me that since he is here, it means that I can make it to the class and even find my desk in a normal state, or have time to put it in order, if needed.
Forgetting about lunch, I rush to class and take my seat. Logan is late, I don’t look at him, but as he passes by, he drops my bag on the floor.
Every day at school is a challenge. When classes are finally over, I can go home. It looks like it’s going to rain, so I pull the hoodie over my head like I’m hiding, and for a moment I feel safe. Exactly until the moment when I hear behind me:
“Hey, moron!”
I turn around and catch a fist, but it’s too late to dodge.
“Miss me?”
Glasses fall to the ground, the blow hits right in the nose, so tears cover my eyes. I have nothing to oppose to him. Logan laughs. I hear glass crunching.
“Leave me alone!” I say, but instead of answering, I get a couple more slaps. “What did I do to you?!”
“You’re just a freak, and you piss me off.” Logan replies, laughing.
“You’re a freak, and you piss me off too.”
I would have regretted saying that, but in the next moment so many blows fell on me that I could no longer think about anything, pressing my head into my shoulders.
I was able to get up only 15 minutes later after Logan’s footsteps were no longer audible.
Nobody passed by, this is the short way home that I take. I didn’t know Logan was aware of this. All that was left of the glasses is a bent frame with shards of lenses.
Do I want to cry?
Maybe.
But not from pain. From powerlessness. Why can’t I answer him in kind? Why can’t I defend myself? Why should I defend myself?! Why does he leave bruises on me like brand marks of his strength and anger I didn’t deserve?
I go home and immediately lock myself in the bathroom, I don’t want my parents to see me.
I look at myself in the mirror, figure out how to hide new bruises, make up another lie. I refuse to dine and lock myself in the room. The hand involuntarily reaches for the chest, my heart beats evenly. And for the first time I think that maybe it’s not so bad that it doesn’t shine.
The phenomenon of shining started a couple of decades ago, and research is still ongoing. But life does not stand still, and everyone decides for themselves how to live with it.
I heard that some hearts start to shine but then the shining disappears suddenly. I heard that there are pills that can make the heart stop shining... There are super dark T-shirts to hide your shining... Also I heard that shining means that you are two halves, that you are destined to each other but some people ignore this sign. Some people think it is a disease. Religious zealots, as always, blame everything on the machinations of the devil.
And I... I think it’s probably great to know that there’s a person somewhere that makes your heart shine. It’s great to know that you are not alone.
Considering my condition after yesterday’s fight with Logan, I decided to skip PE, but I ran into the coach right on the way out.
So I had to go back.
Logan never misses any opportunity to shove me, even if I’m on the same team with him. Time goes unbearably slow. When the bell rings, it’s music to my ears.
But I’m not in a hurry to go to the locker room, after all, I’m not stupid. The next lesson is math, and I’d rather not get into it than be in the locker room alone with Logan. I wait 10 minutes and slip inside.
No one’s here... Good.
I pull off my T-shirt. My moves are clumsy, after yesterday everything hurts.
“Hey, moron!”
The door of my locker slams shut. With my back, I can feel Logan behind me. Now he can easily bump me into a row of lockers, or throw me on the floor, or... whatever else comes into his mind. There is no one here, I will not call for help. I have no time to escape. I turn around and look at his face. He has a predatory smile, he anticipates the violence.
Apparently, he lingered in the shower. Did he really wait on purpose to beat me again? He didn’t even bother to get dressed. He has no scars or bruises on his body, unlike me... His skin is fair, hairs on his chest are just beginning to grow, few freckles on his broad shoulders.
I don’t know why I am looking him over. Maybe I’m trying to distract myself. I’m not really afraid of pain... I just...
A reddish glow suddenly appears on Logan’s fair skin. His expression changes, he drops a surprised look at my chest. It only dawns on me a second later, I look down at my heart. It... what?! Am I cursed or something?!
My heart shines so bright that if it were night, I could easily find a way out of school in total darkness!
But still... it shines... I would have been glad, but who is the reason?! Logan?!
His gaze is still on my chest. Maybe he’ll change his mind about beating me up this time?
Or, more likely, now beating me will be sweeter...
Logan opens his mouth to say something but stops.
It looks like a small spark that ignites a bright fire. His heart shines... in accord with mine.
Logan’s eyes widen as he staggers away from me like from a leper, instinctively crossing his arms over his chest. I turn away from him, almost squeezing into the locker. The heart begins to pound like crazy.
No, no, no...
It’s a joke, is it?
It’s a joke!
I’m ready to join the religious zealots! Give me the pills! Pour holy water on me!!!
