“I think we should all go out and have a hang out day,” Leo said as we all huddled in my room with the Catalino boys. It had been maybe a week since my whole ‘I-kissed-my-best-friend-got-caught-by-my-boy-friend-got-fucked-by-my-boyfriend’ thing. Gio won’t even look in my general direction since then. He said he needed space and boy is he taking it.
1.He moved out of my room
2.He cut off sex, kissing, and any other contact
3.He won’t talk to me
It was making me feel sick. I missed holding him and kissing him and making love with him. I missed the way he could always make me feel better and how his smile made me lose myself. Fuck, I missed him. I had screwed up so bad and now I am so scared I lost the only person I have ever loved.
“Where would we go?” Frankie finally piped in. My eyes went over to Giovanni lying on my bed casually plucking the bed spread. His eyes were downcast so he couldn’t meet mine, but I knew he could feel my hot gaze on him. How could he not? My desperation was practically coming off in waves.
“How about the warehouse?” Sammy piped in, standing next to Luca and Leo so he wouldn’t have to be near Angel. I was very closely watching those two ever since the whole incident. So far I have noticed that Angel likes to lean into Sammy’s ear and whisper things that makes Sammy stiffen and then glare. I also see Sammy raking his eyes down Angel’s body, which entertains me since he ‘doesn’t like him’.
“What’s the warehouse?” Cris asked with interest.
“It’s like the tattoo shop,” Gio answered, finally hopping into our conversation. I looked over at him and his eyes met mine only to be ripped away a second later.
Fuck, I am an Idiota.
“Oh, fuck! Let’s go!” Georgie said with excitement. It had been maybe a month or so since we had last been. I missed the old place and I knew the guys did too by the way all of their eyes were glowing.
I stood up and wiped my hands on my pants. “Let’s go then.” We all started to file out of the room except for me. I waited by the door carefully waiting for him. When he walked by, I snatched his arm and yanked him against me, catching him completely off guard.
I didn’t hesitate. I slammed my mouth down to his and moaned when he whimpered beneath my mouth.
“Guys?” Angel said with laughter in his voice. I waved them off and continued trying to deepen the kiss I craved. Gio fought against me so I flipped us over so his back was against the wall instead of mine.
“Let me go,” he groaned as I broke the kiss. I gave him a look and then attacked his mouth all over again. My hands snaked around his back and down into his loose jeans and then his boxers. “Ahhh!” he moaned when I gripped his ass in my hands.
“Seriously guys!” Ralph yelled. “It’s getting a little out of hand- or better yet in hand.” The boys snickered but I continued to knead his flesh while shoving my tongue past his lips as he gasped.
“Vin,” he moaned against my mouth, making me want to go completely savage on him. I licked his lips and sucked the bottom one into my mouth just before being ripped away. I growled at the unknown cock blocker and almost punched the shit out of him when I met his blue eyes.
“Damnnit Lucca!” I cursed as he pushed Gio out the door.
Lucca glared at me with distaste. “He told you no.”
I scuffed. “He moaned and then moaned my name. That’s not a no.”
“Fuck you!” Gio hissed before stomping down the grand staircase. My heart stopped its erratic pumping as his honey brown hair left my sight.
Fuck. I just attacked him. Like a lion and an antelope. Fuck, what is wrong with me?
“Wow, way to hook’em,” Leo said with a smirk. I slapped the back of his head and stomped off with anger pouring from my skin. The banters were not helping my anger at all. It was like poking a lion with a stick and man was this lion getting fucking pissed.
“Did he cut off sex?” Angel teased.
“Oh, no wonder you have been so pissy lately!” Ralph commented.
One- two- three- four-
“Oh, I bet you miss pretty little Giovanni on his knees,” Sammy said and I all but exploded. Grabbing his neck, I threw him against a wall and squeezed until he turned blue.
“Shut. Your. Fucking. Mouth!” I seethed and then punched the crap out of him. “Don’t you dare say that about him. Ever!” I dropped him and turned around ready to go off on every single one of them when I saw Gio downstairs looking up with wide eyes. I guess he thought I wouldn’t take up for him.
“You guys stay here. Gio and I need to talk about some things,” I said and walked down the steps never once taking my eyes away from him. My mind was on a wild goose chase as I got in front of him and clasped his hand. What if he really hated me now? What if I had actually blown it?
I looked him in his beautiful jade eyes and found myself close to tears for some reason that I could only explain as me being a fucking chick. “Please come with me. We need to talk.” His shoulder slumped at the softness of my voice and then he sighed.
“You have to promise not to touch me. I can’t- I can’t deal with that right now,” he mumbled. My heart squeezed from anxiety, hurt, sadness, happiness, and despair all at the same time. Each one of those emotions being caused by the man I was in love with.
I started to walk and pulled him with me. “I promise,” I whispered and then we were out the door and then made our way to the car. We both slid in silently, buckling up and then sitting there for a second.
He chuckled softly and my attention went to him. “Remember the last time we were both in this car?” he whispered with a hint of humor and sadness rolled into his voice.
Oh I remembered. Quite vividly at that.
Gio bouncing on top of me; his little gasp and moans every time I hit just the right spot. Me jerking him off and watching as he lost control of himself in the sexiest way possible. Him getting on his knees and sucking me off one last time before everything went upside down. Fuck that was hot as hell.
“Mmm,” I moaned silently as the images flickered through my head.
“Don’t have to relive the whole things,” he said and slapped my shoulder. I smiled over at him and went to steal a kiss when I remembered that we were not like before. We were on thin ice and one wrong step could mean falling into the coldest damn water the world has ever known. I would sink because Gio would be the only thing that could keep me afloat.
“Let’s go,” I said and he nodded before rubbing his bottom lip almost as if he had wanted me to kiss him. Maybe there was hope.
We walked into the warehouse and Gio gasped. “Holy shit! This is awesome!” he said with a big grin. His eyes went around the whole warehouse seeing the pool tables, the pinball machines, the video games, the giant couch that surrounded the giant flat screen and then California king bed at the other side of the place so we had a place we could nap at.
I closed the door and walked over to the couch and watched him walk around. He looked like he was stalling but I really couldn’t blame him. I was kind of nervous to see where this was gonna go. As an Italian man, I should never be scared of anything especially my boyfriend breaking up with me, but –fuck it- I can’t seem to care. Giovanni has become my whole life in such a short time I just want him back.
“Vincent?” Gio said as he sat on the table in front of me. I wanted to grab him and hold him against my chest but I knew he wouldn’t let me. Plus, I promised that I wouldn’t touch him.
“Baby- I mean- Gio, I- I have no idea how to get it across how sorry I am,” I began, leaning my elbows down on my knees. “What I did was so fucking stupid and then the fact that I called you a woman afterwards…I was just so fucking stupid. I thought maybe I could joke around and get you to forget about it, but instead I got fucked out of my mind, which I loved by the way, but I mean –fuck- I can’t even explain how upset I am baby. I fucked up and now…I can’t even touch you without you getting pissed off at me and it’s killing me.”
Gio stared at me and then slowly reached his hand out to clasp mine. “I am so pissed at you Vincent. I feel like I should cut your tongue out or just slice your lips off so no one will ever be able to kiss you again, but the thought of hurting you makes me sick, so I have no idea how you could hurt me like that. Maybe…maybe I was wrong to believe it when you said you loved me or maybe I was just hopeful. I-“
“I love you. Fuck, I wouldn’t have come out of the closet if I hadn’t. Gio, you are all I ever want in life and-“
“Apparently not! You kissed Sammy with such….passion. It fucking hurt to watch Vincent!” he seethed, standing up to pace. “I watched you sit there and at first you looked reluctant but then something switched and you were all in! Did you maybe think he was better than me? Did you think he would like to be the girl in your relationship!? Did you think you loved him more than me!?” I stood up, grabbing his face and desperately wanting him.
“Fuck, I wanna kiss you!” I hissed with a heavy heart. “I want you to understand that I love you and you only. The only reason I started to kiss him like that was because I imagined it was you with me. I don’t care about Sammy in that way I just wanted him to feel better. I wanted to make it up to him!”
He grabbed onto my hand that were on both sides of his face and stared at me with so much desperation. “What did you need to make up to him, Vin?”
“He’s in love with me…” I said quietly. “But I can never love him back because some stupid, cocky Italian man stole my heart and I can never give it to anyone else. Fuck, you have me whipped man! I can’t even sleep correctly without you because I got so used to you being in my arms at night. I can’t eat because I got so used to looking up and meeting your eyes from across the table. I can’t do anything correctly! I barely wrote my name right in school the other day! I put Giovanni instead of my own!” I was shouting right in his face but I had no other idea of getting through to him. “Can’t you see, man!? I’m broken without you!”
There. I said it.
“Damnit Vincent!” he cursed and then he was attacking my mouth. I almost wept at how good it felt to have him back in my arms. We fell back onto the couch with him straddling me and me gripping his legs tightly.
“I love you so much,” he sobbed as he kissed down my jaw and onto my neck. “I don’t care if you are stupid, impulsive, have major anger issues, pig-headed, or anything else of that nature. I love you and –fuck- I am so happy I have you back. Every day was like torture without you. I would wake up and reach out for you, but you weren’t there. I was so lost.” He was gripping my shirt tightly as he cried. “I was so insecure because I thought maybe Sammy was better than I was. I thought I fucking blew it by fucking you like that and the leaving without so much as a word of where I was going. I was so scared I lost you!”
I ran my fingers through his silky hair and felt tears slide down my face. God me and him are such pussies for Italian men. I mean –fuck- we are in the Mafia! The MAFIA! And yet we cry like a bunch of girls on their periods.
“You are never going to get rid of me, no matter what stupid, impulsive thing I do. I am always going to be here because I don’t wanna lose you. My heart couldn’t take it,” I said honestly. He sobbed louder and clutched onto me like I was his saving grace.
“Please….please don’t ever do that to me again, Vinnie. I couldn’t take it,” he whispered with a sniffle. He sounded fucking adorable when he cried but I was not about to ruin the mood by telling him so. That was one beating I could live without. “I love you so much it hurts.”
I kissed his hair. “I love you more than that, baby.” He laid his head down on my shoulder and composed himself. I waited for the sniffling to stop before speaking. “Does that mean we are together again?”
He looked up at me with puffy, red eyes. “You promise never to do anything like that again?”
“On my honor,” I said in Italian. He smiled and kissed me softly not really pushing for more but still showing me he loved me. Our mouths moved in even, slow strokes, tasting and reacquainting ourselves with each other. He tasted so much better than I could remember. This morning’s kiss had fucking nothing on this one.
He slowly separated his mouth from me with his eyes closed. I brushed his hair out of his face and kissed his lips once more before kissing his cheek, and then his nose, and then his eyebrow, and everywhere else until I was sure I had not missed one spot on his beautiful face.
I looked over at the giant bed across the warehouse and then back down at him to find him sleeping. “Man, I am so screwed when it comes to you,” I whispered and then slowly picked him up with a hella lot of struggle. I walked him over to the bed and laid him down careful not to wake him up. I took his shoes off and then his pants and shirt before doing the same to myself. I went to climb into bed with him when my eyes caught on his tattoo right on his chest.
‘Here I survive until God thinks I die’
I had to remember and ask him about that instead of shoving orange soda into his lap like the first time. Every time we made love I would catch a glimpse of it but never say anything because I was too caught up.
I slowly slid in the bed and kind of pushed him until we were at the center of the giant bed before laying him flat on his back. I went deeper into the covers and set my head on his chest before throwing an arm over his hips.
“I can see the appeal to this,” I said to myself. I felt his arm come around me and then he went back to sleep.
I was just starting to fall asleep when a noise across the room made me look up.
“Well, this is shocking as hell. Vincent Alexandria Mussolini is a faggot!”
I popped up off of Gio’s chest and growled with hatred stemming from my very soul.
“Alberto,” I hissed.
He gave an evil smirk. “Did you miss me?”