Finding Alex Carter

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Chapter Four

14th September 2008


Get your butt back here. Right. Now.

I can’t believe you left me. Do you not want to be friends anymore? It is okay if you don’t want to be. Mom took me to the mall to meet some girls from my school today. So, if you don’t want to hang out anymore, that’s cool. I can just be with them – even though they’re really boring and only talk about grown-up stuff like clothes and shoes.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Alex!

You don’t deserve it. You little dweeb. When you come back, I’m gonna…

Mom’s calling! Gotta go.

Hope you get this letter,


P.S. did you see the picture I drew? It’s of us taking down Chase Evans – do you remember? Yeah, of course you do. We were awesome!

14th September 2009


I’m serious now. If you don’t reply to me I’m gonna come over to wherever you are and rip you to pieces! Just like in Jurassic Park. Do you remember that film? We were never supposed to watch it, but we did anyway.

You’re missing out. Seriously. This morning I pranked our neighbour, Mr. Wallace, by lying in the middle of the road just as his car came out of the driveway. The man thought he’d run me over! It was hilarious. That was until mom came out of our house and screamed at me. She didn’t find it so funny – but I’m sure you would have.

Happy Birthday Alex!

Come home soon,


P.S. I knocked Chase Evans off his scooter two days ago. You should have seen the look on his face. Anyway, he’s after me now. Hasn’t caught me yet. I’m too fast for him.

14th September 2010

That’s it Alex,

I’m getting really angry now!

Come home. Come home now! When I next see you I’m gonna to make you eat so much grass you’re gonna puke up a lung. Alex James Carter – you’re damn straight I used your full name – get your butt back here now. I am super, super angry. You’ve woken a dragon.

Mom tells me that you won’t actually be getting these letters. Apparently, I’m sending them to your old house. The people living there now don’t know how to send them on. Mom says it is because you didn’t leave a forwarding address.

I’m sure she’s lying though. Grown-ups always lie. I mean, they lied about Santa, didn’t they?

Please tell me that mom isn’t right,


P.S. can you see the drawing? It’s of me and you sitting in the treehouse.

P.P.S. I almost forgot. Happy Birthday!

14th September 2011


The summer dragged without you. Luke went off to camp, so it was just me. Alone. For 2 months. Mom says I’m too young to go to summer camp. Maybe next year I can convince her to let me go.

Life’s been pretty boring, Alex. I miss fighting dragons with you. I miss our fortress. I miss those pranks we used to play on Mrs. Pettit when she went out to walk her dogs. They were hilarious. Do you remember when we cooked everyone those batch of brownies with only mud and sugar?!

I really wish you’d come out to play, Alex.

Just tell me you’re okay.

We don’t even have to play with one another anymore. Just please tell me you’re safe. Your mom was pretty upset the last time I saw her. Is she still crying?

It feels like there’s no point to anything anymore. The world got boring a long time ago. So now I’m just sat here, waiting for an adventure.

It’s never going to arrive, is it? After all, magic doesn’t exist.

Anyway, another year, another birthday: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!

Why is everything so boring now?

Hope you haven’t forgotten about me,


14th September 2012

Dear Alex,

Happy Birthday. I hope you’re having a wonderful day - wherever you are in the world.

I should probably tell you something that I’ve kept secret for a really long time. Even my family don’t know about it.

Since you left, I haven’t made any new friends.

I mean, I tried, but people never wanted to know. I was either not cool enough, or not pretty enough, or too much of a tomboy. Apparently, nobody likes a girl who knows how to fight.

I’m trying to change though. I started straightening my hair. You remember how it was always so frizzy, right? Well, mom took me to a hairstylist, and they managed to turn my hair into soft blond waves.

The girls in my year are still mean though. They pick on my quite a lot. They call me freckle-face and pig-breath. There are some other names as well, but I can’t really remember them all.

I stopped playing sports too. I miss it. I really do. But hey, at least I’ll fit in, right?

I come home and watch TV now. Quite a lot of TV. Mom and dad have taken to asking me what’s wrong. I don’t know what to say. They’ll only worry, or phone up the Principal, and that will just make things worse.

I stopped raising my hand in class. Apparently, nobody likes a ’nerd.’

I just wish you were here, Alex. Now that Luke has moved up to high school, I am always eating lunch alone.

Sorry for the sob-story,


14th September 2013

Dear Alex,


How is high school treating you? It’s a big pond, isn’t it? I love thinking about what you’re doing now…

I am still missing you, but it’s getting harder for me to remember your face. I think I can still picture it, if I try really hard. You don’t look like that anymore though, do you?

So, did you meet friends? How about girlfriends? How are your classes going?

What about me, you ask? Well, I’m sure I’ll find my friends soon. They must be around. In the meantime, I’m just going to keep my head down and stop getting into trouble.

Those girls I talked to you about don’t go to my high school. They went over to Northview. According to the football team, Northview is our school’s sworn enemy. I’m glad they’re not here anymore, but I still worry that I’m sticking out like a sore thumb. I spend most of my lunches eating in the art rooms – Luke says I can’t sit with him anymore. He sits with the ‘cool kids.’

Anyway, don’t worry about me. I just want to make sure you’re okay. And you are, aren’t you? I hate the thought of you growing up alone and sad.

Luke says hi! He also says to stop writing these. Apparently, you won’t even be able to read them. All they do is end up at the bottom of someone else’s letter box.

Oh, well. At least I’m trying, right?



14th September 2014

Dear Alex,

Okay, so you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve finally had some luck with the friend situation. I met someone. Well, two people really. Their names are Jace and Wren. I honestly thing you’d love them, but I can’t be sure. Wren might get on your nerves.

I doesn’t matter though. I love them. So, you’ll just have to love them too.

They took me under their wing just last year after they saw me in the library a couple of times. Wren makes me laugh sooo much with her dry, sarcastic humour. Apparently, nobody messes with Jace – he’s just that awesome. They even celebrated my birthday with me. I haven’t had a birthday party since you were here.

Jace and Wren aren’t part of a clique. I don’t think we’re outcasts, I mean people talk to us. But we definitely don’t run with the kinds of people Luke hangs around.

It feels so good not to have to eat lunch alone anymore, Alex. And even though I miss you, I no longer feel like you’re a weight sitting on my chest.

So happy birthday! Say hi to your mom from me. I hope you get everything you wish for and more. I certainly did,


14th September 2015

Dear Alex,

A happy, happy, happy birthday to you! This years has been absolutely crazy! I’ve barely had time to pause. Has yours’s been the same? I’m sure it has.

We’re officially juniors now!! And whoop, whoop, go Tigers! But if you’re a Hawk from Northview, Alex, I’ll come over there are murder you myself. Ha! Just kidding.

Sorry, I’m a little bit giddy.

We went the opening game of the season tonight. God, it was sooooo good. Don’t tell Wren I said that! She thinks football kills peoples’ brain cells. Anyway, we went and we watched it. And you’ll never guess who winked at me?

Seth freaking Lawson. That’s who.

I know, I couldn’t believe it either.

Alex, you should have been there. It was awesome!


Oh, I’ve already said that! Ignore me. I’m way too excitable right now and my heart is beating like crazy.

I still miss you by the way.



14th September 2016

Dear Alex,

I haven’t forgotten about you just yet.

It’s your birthday today. Yours’s was always four months before mine. I used to be jealous of timing of it: three months before Christmas. A perfect distance away.

Why am I saying was? It still is. That is, if you’re even alive…

Okay, that got morbid pretty fast.

It feels like I’m writing to a ghost, or leaving flowers on a tombstone. That’s how you feel to me now. I know, too morbid. Again. I’ll try better next time.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter if it is you, or if you’re even reading this letter. I think I write these letters more for me.

I wish I knew how you were. I wish there was some way of contacting you. I miss you, and I am sad that you are no longer here. You were my best friend, Alex, and you’ll always have a place in my heart – whether you want it or not.

Anyway, I’ve got to go. Jace and Wren are calling for me. There’s this huge school football game going on. Pretty much everyone is going. I’d invite you, but…God, I wish you were here.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Alex! Sorry for rambling – that’s one thing that will never change. I’ll always talk too much. But hey, at least I’m not boring, right?

Okay, I really am leaving now.

So if you’re reading this Alex, I hope you have an amazing day. Save some cake for me.

Is this what people feel like when they talk to God? Maybe this explains why I’m not religious. This arrangement sucks.

Again, sorry for babbling. I’m running out of page now, so I really have to stop.

Yours always,


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