Waiting around for possibly good or bad news was never an option for me, on normal circumstances I would have been out the door preparing myself to forget what I was even waiting for, if anything it made me anxious.
I’d would rather die not knowing than wait around for the answer I knew I would get but did not want.
When Chisom came around, that did not change I will admit that. With me it’s more you get what you see kind of bargain. I did not want to be anything but myself to Chisom, although there were times in the beginning where I wanted to show a side of me I did not know existed. But that later came to haunt me when my lies had caught up with me and Chisom broke up with me for it.
And with that too I did not wait around for her to ‘break it to me’, instead I booked a flight to Brazil and stayed there for a long while, and honestly I would have stayed longer. If it wasn’t for Chisom’s constant emails and my family now getting concerned. Needless to say I returned back to Ireland.
As soon as I arrived I was trampled with kisses and hugs from my family. Oh Noel how we missed you.
I could not believe all the back and forth switch of emotions my mother had, from Oh my son how much I missed you, to fully cursing me out in front of everyone at the airport as if I were a small child that had lost one of Mummy’s jewels.
My father did not say much other than give me a small nod and a pat on my back as his welcome to the prodigal son, not that I squandered any of his money. But nothing prepared me for the look of worry that spread across Chisom’s face and soon that look was replaced with her eyes filling with water and her look of frustration turning to anger then quickly diffusing to utter sadness and bitterness as I pulled her in for a hug.
I had messed up bad, and I knew it too.
My real question was how was I going to fix the mess I had created. How would I explain and from where would I even start.
Eh, my son, Chisom has something to tell you, someone she would like you to meet.
A head shot out from behind the long flowy dress she wore, I realised then I must not have been paying much attention to notice the strange child that stood clutching her dress. Who was this new edition to the family and who’s was he.
I looked around to the faces I knew, waiting for some sort of explanation, and every face I looked at turned the other cheek leaving me with only one face to pose the question.
Noel, I’d like you to meet your son, Robyn.
It was like a thrill of reality just hit me like a lightning bolt. How is this possible, I’d been gone three whole years, and no one thought to tell me.
All my father did was let out a sigh and dust his hands, as if he was ridding himself of me. My mother could not even look at me without tearing up. What had I walked into?
This situation I somehow found myself in was in fact real.
I immediately picked up my bags still in shock and followed my uncle as he lead me to the car parked.
I know there is a million and one things I could have done, but instinct took over and I found myself in the car regretting the choice I made three years ago to leave for Brazil.