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Dreaming Of July

By Personal Instability All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Romance

Dreaming Of July

Brookstone apartment complex, or what Patrick now called ‘home’ as of yesterday. Since he had moved all the way from Ireland he was, of course, exhausted when he finally reached his home the night before. The moment Patrick got to his new flat he went to bed, not bothering to unpack his boxes or suitcases. However, he didn’t get to sleep for long, or almost at all for that matter. Since Patrick was very popular on Spark, - a very popular video sharing website - people in the building recognized him instantly. All night, person after person came to his door.

The boy was startled awake by another knock at his door. He cussed under his breath, his eyes wandering to the clock on his bedside table, twelve forty-eight in the afternoon, “Looks like I’m never going to get any damn sleep ’round here,” grumbled Patrick, as he slid from the warmth and comfort of his bed. The small boy rubbed at his sleepy eyes, shuffling down the short hall out into the living area. Patrick approached the door, really wishing that everyone would just leave him alone. His hand gripped the doorknob for a few seconds before yanking it, the door swinging back at him. The sight that greeted him was more than pleasant. There stood a short boy – who was of course, still taller than Patrick – he looked like he was slightly older than him. The man had somewhat mess, short brown hair, with perfect, brown eyes to match. Patrick stared for a moment at the handsome boy, his hair looked ridiculously soft.

“Hi, I’m Pete! I live across the hall from you and-”

“Listen, ‘Pete’, I’m sorry if I sound rude, but I really don’t appreciate fans showing up at my door and interrupting my damn sleep,” Patrick snapped, which was very unlike him. Look, the guy may be cute and all, but no way in hell was Patrick putting up with all of these people’s nonsense.

“Er...? I-I was just trying to welcome you to the building...” Pete bit his lip nervously, hanging his head as he held out a container full of some type of cookie.

“Ah shit, I’m sorry man... I’m just pissed about people showing up at my damn door every second of the day... The name’s Patrick, by the way.” He sighed, feeling bad now that he’d yelled at Pete.

“It’s okay, Patrick... I did notice you had quite a few visitors before.” Pete smiled, his tiny eyes scrunched up so much it seemed as though it’d be impossible for the boy to see anything.

“So, erm... Wanna come in?” Patrick stepped aside, giving Pete room to join him in the petite apartment. Pete stepped in accepting the offer and entering the room and putting the box of cookies down on a table close by.

“Listen, I’m going to be honest here, Patrick... I didn’t make those cookies, I bought them at Walmart... They’re so damn good though.” Pete admitted, making Patrick laugh loudly.

“Any cookie is a good cookie my friend.” Patrick spoke with a smirk

“I can tell we’re going to be great friends...”


“Patrick!” Pete called from outside of Patrick’s flat, “Patty!” He pressed, “Wake your lazy ass up!”

“I’m up! I’m up! Stop your yelling!” Patrick hollered back, tugging the door open, finding the boy he’d become accustomed to.

“You should make me a key to your place so then I can just come and go as I please,” Pete pushed past Patrick, going into his friend’s mini kitchenette.

“That’s why you’re not getting one,” Patrick laughed at the boy.

“You need to buy food,” Pete complained, returning to the room where Patrick was seated on the couch.

“I’m broke, you buy it for me,” Patrick sighed, rolling his eyes at the small boy.

“Ugh!” Pete tossed himself dramatically onto the couch, landing in Patrick’s lap, “Why are you so tiny, Patty?” Pete teased.

“’Cause I’m such a badass,” Patrick crossed his arms.

“Nah, you’re just a cute little bean,” Pete poked at Patrick’s face, Pete continued to squeeze Patrick’s squishy cheeks in his hands, “Stop touching me you little shit,” Patrick attempted to push Pete off of the couch, but Pete grabbed the younger, and brought him down as well, “My god, I hate you,” Patrick couldn’t help but laugh as he laid, pinning the older boy to the floor beneath them.

“You love me and you know it,” Pete smirked playfully, unable to stop giggling.

“Eww,” Patrick rolled his eyes, knowing that was one hundred percent a lie.


Patrick felt his skin tingle where his and Pete’s hands were intertwined, his body numb from the touch as the two laid in the damp grass, watching the sky together.

“Why do you love the stars so much, Patrick?” Pete asked out of curiosity.

“Well, I know it sounds really cheesy but... It’s the one thing that always stays the same, not like exactly but... What I mean is...” Patrick paused, thinking hard about how to phrase it, “Like, back when I was still in Ireland, the sky was the same there, so no matter where you go there’s always a piece of home there... I think that makes sense?” Patrick explained softly, into the gloom of the night.

“Ah... That’s a beautiful explanation, Patty,” Pete replied in a gentle voice.

Silence engulfed the two again in moments. Pete wanted to talk to the smaller boy beside him but he had no clue of where to start. Pete sighed silently as he drifted into thought, as he’d been doing a lot lately, although his thoughts were never any different. All of his thoughts were consumed by Patrick. Pete had been so confused for a while now, he didn’t know what it was about Patrick but now that Pete had been with him so much he realized that Patrick had a power over him. He had always thought he was straight but now he wasn’t sure of anything. Patrick did things to him, things he never knew a person could ever do to him. Patrick made Pete melt easily, anything Patrick asked Pete would almost always do, just with a glance of those beautiful cornflower blue eyes and his cute, wide smile. Patrick’s laugh just made Pete feel so good, he could have the worst day ever and Patrick’s laugh could bring him back so easily.

Patrick was so adorable and perfect, from the way the boy bit his lip to his bright crimson blush that he always tried to hide but was the worst at. Pete had decided that he was in love with his little bean, “H-Hey... Patrick?” Stuttered Pete.

“What’s up, buttercup?” Patrick chuckled at his own words, rolling over to look at his clearly nervous friend. Pete stayed still, scared shitless about telling the boy how much he cared about him. Patrick was patient with Pete, seeing how visibly upset he was.

“You know what…? Fuck it,” Pete muttered, grasping Patrick’s small, squishy face in his large hands, quickly closing the gap between them. Pete felt his heart pounding in his chest anxiously, he didn’t even realise that Patrick had begun kissing him back.

Pete pulled away as quickly as he’d begun, “I-I’m sorry, Patrick...” Pete jumped up and was too far gone before Patrick could muster any words.

He sighed defeatedly as he watched the boy running off into the darkness of the night, “I’m in love with you.”


It had been a couple of days since Patrick had seen Pete, he missed him terribly and it was the same for Pete. Patrick had waited to call him, letting him have some time to think about what he wants but now, Patrick was done waiting, he hated waiting. So he tried calling, texting and even calling Pete out on Twitter and Tumblr; nothing. Patrick gave up on calling and messaging deciding he would just cross the hall, knowing this was his last option.

One knock on the door, no answer.

Two knocks on the door, again, nothing.

And finally, three knocks on the door and still, absolutely no Pete.

Patrick sighed, looking up to the mini lip of the door frame, it was too high up for the leprechaun-sized male, so he was forced to go back to his apartment to get a stool so he could get to the spare key rested on the high surface.

He could just barely reach to where the key resided but luck was on his side that day and he was just tall enough. He unlocked the door with no hesitation, entering the small, similarly designed room.

“Pete! I’ve got some words of wisdom for you, if you’re avoiding someone then you shouldn’t leave the extra key out for taking!” Patrick called, hearing a loud groan from down the tiny hall.

“Couldn’t you just leave me alone?!” Pete shouted back in response from his bedroom. Patrick rolled his eyes at the older’s muffled yelling and headed to where the noise was coming from. Patrick found a large heap of pillows and blankets in the center of the bed, Pete in the middle of that heap.

“Oh, Pete...” Sighed Patrick as he shook his head, sitting down on the edge of the bed near the other.

“What?” Pete grunted.

“You’re pouting over nothing!”

“Over nothing!? I kissed you and shouldn’t have, damn it!” Pete’s head appeared from the lump of softness he was buried in.

“And? Why shouldn’t you have?” Patrick crossed his arms, confused.

“Because!” Pete snapped, “I assumed that-”

“Exactly. you assumed,” Patrick cut him off, “By assuming you’re just making an ass out of you and me.” Patrick reached over, ruffling Pete’s already messy hair. How in hell could someone look so damn hot after staying in bed for days and just waking up? Pete was so impossibly perfect that it hurt.

“What do you mean?” Pete choked, excitement filling him.

“I really like you, dumbass!” Patrick looked down at the sleepy boy, who reached up, gripping Patrick by the shirt, tugging him down to his own lips. A smiled spread across Patrick’s face as he kept his lips locked with Pete’s.

“Pete?” Patrick broke their kiss suddenly.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Pete tried to reclose the gap between them, only for Patrick to not let him.

“But I have an important question, Petey.”

“Fine,” Grunted Pete, “What is it?”

“How do you wake up so flawlessly?” Patrick questioned, genuinely wanting to know.

“You broke our kiss for that, you ass!?” Pete punched Patrick’s arm playfully.

“Yes! I must know your secrets,” Patrick spoke, giggling as the other boy played with Patrick’s strawberry-blonde hair affectionately.

“I hate you,” Pete shook his head with a huge grin spread from ear to ear as he chuckled at his best friend - or now boyfriend’s – stupidity.

“I love you too, Petey.”


Patrick gripped Pete’s hand tightly as they made their way into this adorable and small, diner-like restaurant. Just the thought of having their first date outside of their apartments and dark, almost empty movie theaters, was giving Patrick a horrendous panic attack.

“Patty,” Pete spoke, seeing the anxiousness on Patrick’s face, “Don’t worry okay? I’m here with you and that’s all that matters tonight alright?” Patrick slowly nodded.

“Ye-Yeah... You’re r-right...” Patrick was having such a hard time forming his words, it felt as though his tongue was an intruder in his own mouth. Pete could still see that Patrick was struggling so he dropped his hand from Patrick’s, placing his arm around the anxious boy, pulling Patrick into him. Patrick relaxed slightly, leaning into the touch of his boyfriend. Patrick was so glad to have Pete and call the boy his.

The couple entered the cozy, little place and were seated almost instantly due to the lack of people there. There was only a man and his wife or girlfriend, two teenage girls and a group of guys who look like they were around the same age as the pair. Patrick and Pete were asked what they wanted by a sweet waitress who looked no older than seventeen. The meals were made quickly and brought to them just as fast. Patrick had gotten some type of special burger from the menu along with some fries and Pete got a type of fried chicken.

“’Hey, Pete?” Patrick asked with his mouth full.

“Yeah, babe?” The other raised his head to look at his lover.

“You should give me a bite of your chicken,” Patrick gave him the best pleading eyes he possibly could.

“You should give me some fries,” Pete replied cockily.

“But, Pete!” Patrick pouted, not willing to give up his food.

“No fries, no chicken,” Pete watched him closely as he took another bite of his food. Patrick quickly grabbed a piece and shoved it into his mouth all at once, and while Patrick was in the process of doing that, Pete got a chance to steal some fries.

“Ha,” Pete smirked contently, Patrick just smiled at his boyfriend, seeing how cute he was.

“You’ve got something...” Patrick pointed at Pete, “Hold still I’ll get it,” He said as Pete rubbed at his cheek in confusion. Patrick leaned over the table, just tall enough to connect their lips.

“You cheesy little bastard,” Pete smirked.

“I know,” Patrick smiled cutely back.

“Erm... Excuse me, we’re going to have to ask you two to please leave...” The waitress stepped up to their table, speaking quietly.

“What!?” Pete stood angered by what the woman had just told him, Patrick sighed tears in his eye. He knew something like that would happen, “We didn’t do anything wrong, what the hell!? Why are we being kicked out for no reason!?”

“Well, sir...” She mumbled nervously, seeing that the group of men and the two girls had turned their attention towards where Patrick and Pete were, “It’s not because you aren’t welcome... That gentlemen over there with his wife complained about you being disruptive and distracting. He said that he wanted you two out so he and his wife didn’t have to be around ‘people like you’.” She looked at the two boys helplessly, apologizing with her eyes.

“Oh really!?” Pete snapped, not caring about the group watching.

“Pete... L-Let’s just go...” Stammered Patrick another panic attack setting in.

“No, we came here for dinner and I’m not going to let some self-centered asshole ruin our night,” Pete was beyond pissed, Patrick had never see him so inforiated. Pete suddenly got up from their booth stomping over to the homophobic couple three tables over, “Excuse me but who the hell do you think you are. Just because you don’t like me being out with my boyfriend gives you no God damned right to get us kicked out you prick!” Pete snapped, his voice full of rage. The obviously older – and buffer – male stood, towering over Pete, but Pete didn’t even seemed fazed by it.

“Who in the hell do you think you’re talking to. You don’t belong, you faggot,” The man growled, getting in Pete’s face, gripping the front of his shirt, “Now get your ass out before I kick it out. I’m trying to have a pleasant dinner with my wife.”

“Yo, dude! Leave the guy alone, he’s just trying to do the same damn thing as you are. Just let him be,” One of the guys from the other table shouted at the man. Little did Pete or Patrick know at this time that, this boy would become one of their closest friends, along with the other three boys.

“Stay out of this,” The male growled, still holding Pete’s shirt. The waitress was stood off to the side frozen with fear. Pete had tried to get the man’s strong hand off of him to no avail.

“Listen I just want to eat my damn food, so if you could just-” The man swung his free arm, nailing Pete in the face as hard as possible, only letting go of him then.

“Pete!” Patrick shouted, jumping from his seat in their booth. The waitress rushing to find someone to come help them. One of the lads that was at the table of boys stood, grabbing the man.

“Leave him the hell alone! What is wrong with you!?” The boy hissed.

“He’s a disgrace, he isn’t right and the two of them are going to burn in hell for their sin! You must believe me! You do right, boy?”

“I do not! If anything you’re the one going to hell, he did nothing to you! This is why I’m glad I’m an atheist, I’m not forced to hate someone for who they are.” The man spoke out of anger, not trying to sound offensive, he was just extremely shocked and pissed by how the man was acting towards the other boy. He and his friends stood from their booth, approaching the counter.

“Hey! We want our check,” A man with a tall, brown quiff spoke loudly. The waitress rushed from the back room and gave them the check they’d asked for, “We want theirs as well,” The boy pointed over to Patrick and Pete.

“Okay,” She rushed off again and came back moments later with a second check.

“Y-You don’t have to do that,” Choked Patrick.

“We want to. Your night was ruined by an asshole so we want to make your night just a little bit better if we possibly could,” Explained the buff, ginger, boy who’d stood up for Pete originally.

“Thank you s-so much,” Patrick was so grateful for their generosity.

“No problem, I’m, Andrew by the way, that’s Joe, Brendon and Josh,” The boy pointed to each of them, “The two of you guys can come with us to this bar down the street if you want?”

“I’m, Patrick and this is, Pete...” Patrick looked at Pete waiting for an answer to the question about the bar.

“We’d love to go hang out with you guys,” I guess that was a yes.


“Patrick... Are you sure your parents are gonna like me?” Pete wrung his hands nervously, looking over at Patrick.

“Of course they will! Ye make me happy so that’s all that matters,” Patrick kissed Pete’s cheek to calm him down and relieve his worry, “Just letting you know that my family has an accent unlike me.”

“I love you, Patty,” Pete let out a soft breath.

“I love ye too, babe,” Patrick leaned against Pete.

The two walked through the airport terminal after getting their bags, hands tightly clasped together as they looked around for Patrick’s mother who was responsible for picking them up.

“Patty!” Patrick spun around from where the voice had come, calling him by his nickname. Patrick was almost tackled instantly when his brother, Ailbe, came running into him.

“Ailbe! I thought you weren’t allowed to come home this week man! How’d you get them to let you come!?” Patrick hugged his brother tightly.

“I couldn’t jus’ not come meet me little brother’s new girl!” Ailbe smiled at his younger sibling excitedly.

“I think that someone might’ve misheard something, Ally,” Patrick stepped closer to Pete - who felt extremely awkward - wrapping his arms around the frightened boy.

“Well shite mate, I thought ye liked girls? Ye’ve got a great taste in men though, Patty,” His brother teased, winking at Pete who couldn’t help but to blush.

“I know, he is so hot ain’t he,” Patrick smiled happily, glad his brother liked Pete.

“’Ey, I’m Ailbe, it’s awesome ta meet’cha. Me mum talks ’bout ye all the time,” Ailbe tugged Pete into a bone crushing hug. Pete had noticed that Ailbe had a much more prominent accent than Patrick.

“Hi... I-I’m Pete. It-It’s cool meeting you too, Ailbe,” The boy stuttered nervously.

“I adore yeer accent laddie!” The other gushed, “I could listen to Patty ’ere talk fur hours!”

“Thanks... I like yours better, mine’s dull,” Pete shrugged.

“That’s what everyone says... Anyway, we should head out,” Spoke Ailbe. Patrick and Pete nodded following close behind. On the way home they blasted some punk music, which Patrick and Ailbe knew every word to while Pete went along with whatever he knew from when Patrick would play the songs. Pete’s anxiety was really driving him nuts today, scared out of his mind about if Patrick’s family would like him or not. Pete had been relatively calm until they were about half way to Patrick’s former home, which happened to be in the middle of nowhere, like where a horror movie would take place. That thought was not helping with his panicking at all. Pete suddenly got the worst panic attack he’d ever had, it came so quickly and brutally.

Pete could feel his heart pounding overly fast in his chest, which felt indescribably tight due to how hard it had become to breath. Pete was so damn scared, he didn’t know what to do, his tongue felt like a stranger in his own mouth... Patrick noticed that his boyfriend had just started violently shaking, knowing it was an anxiety attack. Wordlessly, Patrick moved from his seat by the window to the one in the middle, wrapping his arms around Pete and rubbing his back soothingly. Pete instantly felt safer and calmer in Patrick’s grasp, he leaned into the boy’s touch, closing his eyes contently. Pete soon felt Patrick’s fingers running through his soft hair, Pete was so thankful for his perfect boyfriend.


Pete and Patrick laid, intertwined around each other while watching movies on the couch of Patrick’s living area. The house was empty aside from Pete, Patrick and Ailbe. Patrick’s two sisters, Bridget and Gael and his other brother, Daniel, - who were all older than Patrick - were all not home at the moment. They were all either working or doing some other random thing with their friends, dates or husbands/wives. Patrick’s parents were all working as well.

“Ailbe! Patrick!” The boy’s sister, Bridget called. As soon as Patrick heard her he detangled his body from Pete’s rushing to his sister who’d just arrived home.

“Bridge! My favorite sister!” Patrick shouted in his normal, excessively loud voice. Patrick almost made him and his sister end up on the floor as he threw himself at her.

“Holy hell, Sean!” She gasped.

“Sean?” Pete asked, confused by the name.

“Er... Yeah, that’s my real name, I guess I forgot to mention that?” Patrick smiled sheepishly, “Patrick’s my middle name.”

“Ye haven’t even told yeer own boyfriend ya real name, Sean? Really?” Bridget scolded, turning to face Pete, sitting next to him on the couch, “I’ve got to run out in a moment, I’ve got a date but I’m Bridget, Patrick’s ‘favorite’ sister,” She extended her hand for Pete to take, which he did.

“Uh... H-Hi, I’m Patrick’s boyfriend, Pete... It’s n-nice to meet you...” Pete stammered, he felt so awkward and unwelcome.

“Nice ta meet’cha too, but I’ve got to run, see the two of ye later!” She stood, dashing out the door, it felt weird how she wasn’t here for more than five minutes and she was already gone but who was he to judge.

“Let’s finish our movie,” Patrick jumped up on top of Pete.

“Urgh,” Pete groaned, the air being knocked out of him. Patrick smiled, happily, entangling their bodies again, kissing at Pete’s jawline. As they laid there Pete decided he wanted to tell Patrick about how weird he felt being here, “Patrick... I-I don’t really know how to say this but I feel really awkward here, I feel as though I’m not really welcome.”

“What?” Patrick looked up at him from where his head had been rested on Pete’s chest, “Are you crazy? My family loves you. You make me so happy and that is all that they care about. Before you came into my life, I was extremely depressed and all that, now that I’m with you I’m finally happy again,” Patrick kissed Pete sweetly, Pete then tugged Patrick closer, the movie being forgotten by them as they had begun kissing. Patrick’s tongue swiped across Pete’s bottom lip greedily, craving the taste of his lover’s mouth in his own. Pete eagerly agreed, letting the boy’s tongue explore his entire mouth, Pete did the same, pushing past Patrick’s tongue, exploring all of Patrick’s sweet tasting mouth. A soft moan came from Patrick, making Pete smile into their kiss.

“Eww, get a room!” Ailbe groaned as he caught the couple, Patrick and Pete jumping from each other.

“I-I... We were just-”

“Givin’ each other simultaneous tonsillectomies,” Teased Ailbe, chuckling as his smaller sibling’s face turned a bright crimson along with Pete’s.

“S-Shut it Ailbe!” Patrick squealed like an anime school girl.

“Awe! Is wittle, Patty upset?” He made fun.

“Ugh! I’m telling mom!!” Patrick shouted.

“What? That ye and, Pete over ’ere were g-”

“Just go make out with your pillow or something and leave us alone!” Patrick seemed really embarrassed by his brother, which is understandable, but his brother was nothing compared to Pete’s. Ailbe got up, chuckling softly.

“I’ve got to go pick up Daniel, the dumbass crashed his car,” Ailbe sighed, Patrick laughing.

“Isn’t that like the sixth time in the past two years?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah,” His brother laughed as he left the house, leaving it all to Patrick and Pete for a little while.

“Question… Why does your whole family have an accent except you?” Pete asked suddenly.

“I was adopted when I was about eight.” Patrick explained.

“Oh, I would’ve never guessed actually.”


“So Pete...” Patrick’s mother, Teagan started, “How’d ye meet me little, Patty?”

“Erm...” Pete hummed awkwardly, “Well, Patrick had just moved in, it was July Fourteenth, Two-Thousand-Ten... He was in the place across the hall from me...” A huge smile spread cross his face, remembering the day as if it were only yesterday, “I went to go and welcome him to the building and all that good stuff, I also made him cookies-”

“You liar! You got them from Walmart!” Patrick called him out.

“Yeah, but I can’t really cook and as you said ’any cookie is a good cookie’, Patrick,” He crossed his arms, smirking, “Anyway, when I brought them over, Patrick shouted at me, thinking I was one of his fans from Spark but once he realized I wasn’t, he felt bad and invited me in,” Chuckled Pete, along with Patrick as his mother watched them with amusement.

“Oh, um... Mom, when’s dad getting home?” Patrick bit at his lip nervously.

“Er... Probably soon...” She answered anxiously. Patrick’s father hadn’t been informed of him having a boyfriend, but everybody knew telling him was going to end horribly.

“Do you want, Pete and I to stay in a hotel for the week?” Patrick offered.

“Ye don’t have ta’ Patrick, plus I like seein’ ye with yeer cute little boyfriend and how happy ya are with each other,” She half-smiled.

“Alright...”

“What? Why would we stay in a hotel? I’m confused,” Pete spoke up.

“My dad hates gays...” Patrick admitted, “That’s why I tried to hide how I felt about you for so long...”

“Oh... I-I’m sorry, Patty...” Pete hung his head, believing that it was his fault that Patrick was going to get most likely abandoned by his father.

“It ain’t your fault, Pete,” Patrick reached over, placing his hand on Pete’s knee, “Even if you hadn’t come along I would still be gay, I would have found someone else and brought him home and my dad would still be upset about it, it is in no way your fault Petey, I would still be gay.”

“I definitely wouldn’t be, I thought I was straight ’til I met you,” Pete blushed.

“Awe!” Patrick’s mother gushed. Suddenly the door slammed shut, causing everyone to jump.

“I’m ’ome!” Patrick’s father, Ruari, called.

“We’re in ’ere!” Teagan replied. Patrick began to panic as his father entered the room.

“Sean! Me boy! I didn’t know ye were comin’!” His father shouted excitedly, sounding ever so slightly intoxicated.

“Yeah... I-I told you over uh, a month... Month ago...” Patrick murmured shakily.

“Who’s that?” The man asked wearily, nodding towards Pete.

“Erm...” Patrick turned to his mother, as he tried to find what to say, “That’s Pete... H-He’s my... Um... My um...”

“Spit it out laddie!” Shouted Ruari at the young boy.

“...My boyfriend...” Patrick croaked, his voice weaker than he’d expected.

“Yeer what!?” Growled the older Irishman in anger.

“Dad, I... I’m...Gay...” Breathed Patrick.

This is what started the full on, marriage-ending argument.


Pete held Patrick’s shaking figure tightly in his arms. Patrick had freaked out and had a slight meltdown while arguing with his father that night, Pete noticed that Patrick had seemed excessively tense all day and was acting quite strange as well. After going slightly insane, Patrick was hit with a sudden and extremely severe panic attack and ended up passing out. Pete carried the small boy up the stairs to his bedroom and laid him down on the bed, instantly cuddling into the boy. Even in his sleep Patrick was panicking. He was violently shaking and having a hard time breathing. Pete was overly worried about his lover, never seeing him this bad before.

While Pete silently sat, playing with Patrick’s hair the boy awoke with a start and shot bold upright, clinging to the other boy tightly. Patrick looked at his lover as he tried desperately to catch his breath, scared out of his mind as he sobbed hysterically.

“Pete!” The boy cried out in fear, “I-I can’t breath!” He choked in pain.

“You’re alright, just calm down babe, it’s okay, Patty,” Pete cooed, stroking the boy, who now resembled a small child’s hair.

“N-No I’m n-not, it hurts!” Sobbed Patrick, one hand gripping his chest tightly, the other, clutching onto Pete.

“You’ll be fine if you just calm down okay, please...?” Pete begged.

“I-I can’t Pete! I-I’m gonna die, it h-hurts so badly!” This is when Pete started getting nervous, thinking it could be more than a panic attack. Pete knew that panic attacks had extremely similar symptoms to a mental breakdown, especially with the hard time breathing and shaking.

“You’re not going to die, come on... ” Pete tried to get the boy off of his bed but he wouldn’t budge.

“What are you d-doing?” The boy stammered stubbornly.

“Don’t freak out, but, I’m bringing you to the hospital Patrick,” Pete winced as he knew that Patrick would protest and refuse to go, having a severe case of Nosocomephobia.

“What! N-No! Y-You can’t-” Patrick promptly burst into a violent coughing fit, blood dripping from his lip, covering his hands. That’s when Pete was positive that he needed to get Patrick to the hospital.


“I swear to God, Patrick, if you ever scare me like that again I will kill you,” Pete lectured.

“I’m s-sorry, Pete... I didn’t mean to scare you...” Patrick pouted.

“It’s okay, Patty, I still love you... so much,” Pete smiled, kissing his boyfriend softly, Patrick pulling Pete closer. The two jumped apart hearing the door creak open, both boys whipped their heads in the direction of the sound, finding Patrick’s panicked mother in the doorway.

“Mom!” Patrick smiled.

“Me God, Patrick!” The woman gasped, “Are ye alright!?”

“He’s fine, He just had a panic attack...” Pete answered, knowing how much Patrick was struggling to catch his breath.

“Are ye sure?”

“I’m sure, the doctor said he wants to keep him for a few hours, seeing as Patrick has had four panic attacks since the first one when I brought him in, once he calms down and stops having such bad attacks he can go home,” Pete explained to the woman, who grabbed his arms gently.

“Pete, can I talk to ye for a moment please?” Teagan asked.

“Yeah?” Pete glanced a Patrick in confusion as he pulled him from the room.

“Listen Pete, I didn’t want to upset, Patrick and give ‘im another anxiety attack, but...” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Pete placed a humane hand on the older woman’s shoulder, “Ruari and I are gettin’ a divorce...”

“Do you think, Patrick would get upset even after what happened today?” Pete asked seriously.

“I’m not sure... He might, but he might not, I’m not completely sure, ye can never tell with ’im,” Patrick’s mother sighed.

“I won’t tell him, I promise... Not yet.”


“Pete!? We’re gonna be late for our reservation!” Patrick shouted impatiently. His hand shoved into his pocket clutching the small box in his surprisingly large hands for a man his size.

“I’m sorry! I’m hurrying! I have no clue how to tie my bowtie!” Pete called out as he stumbled down the stairs.

“Come here you friggin’ idiot,” Patrick smiled, giggling at his pathetic and extremely sexy looking soon to be fiancé. Patrick took the ribbon like object between his slender fingers, whirling the thick decoration into perfection.

“You’re really good at this Patty, how’d you get it so perfect?” Pete straightened it as he looked in the mirror at his appearance.

“Well, when you grow up with two brothers and a dad that can’t do it themselves you kinda have to do it for all of them,” Spoke Patrick, tugging at Pete’s strong arm in attempt to get him to hurry up.

“True,” Pete chuckled, “You look really hot in a tux by the way.” Pete winked jokingly.

“Shut up you ass,” Patrick turned away, blushing vigorously. He’d always hated compliments, he never knew how to respond and it made him get flustered. Pete gave the boy a nudge and headed out the door, Patrick hurrying out behind him. Pete smiled widely, four years together and two years in the house they shared. Both boys were so madly in love with each other and the story of them, it was so unique compared to most stories.


The night was absolutely perfect, they’d been to Pete’s favorite restaurant and got his favorite meal. Now the couple was walking down a boardwalk, hand-in-hand. They had been doing all the normal couple-y stuff, winning prizes for each other, riding amusement park rides and being really cliché.

“Patrick...?” Pete spoke quietly.

“Mmm, yeah?” Patrick hummed softly.

“I know you hate heights and all but can we please go on the Ferries wheel?” Pleaded the older boy. Patrick glanced up nervously seeing how high up the metal contraption was.

“I-I...” Patrick stammered and that’s when the idea struck him, “Okay.”


Patrick glanced down at the ground, so far below them, getting further and further from him, making him panic, gripping Pete’s hand tightly. Patrick was shaking slightly as he tried not to completely lose it. The ride jolted to a sudden halt, making Patrick let out a yelp.

“Oh shit...” Patrick breathed shakily, looking down below them.

“Are you alright Patty? I’m sorry...” Pete bit at his lip anxiously.

“I-I’m okay...” Patrick breathed, trying to ignore the panic attack setting in. His hand slipped into his pocket, feeling the tiny velvet box and instantly feeling less anxious.

“You sure babe?” Pete pulled Patrick closer to him, a nod from him.

“Pete? Um c-can I ask you something?” Patrick questioned.

“Sure. What’s up, Patty?” Pete watched his boyfriend intently.

“Well... Um, erm... I have no idea how to even say this...” Patrick rubbed at the back of his neck, letting out a nervous chuckle, “I-I... Ugh, I...” Patrick was becoming frustrated.

“Are you breaking up with me Patrick?” Pete asked with worry in his eyes.

“No! No, I just really don’t even know how to say this,” Patrick took in a deep breath, “So, you know that I love you right?” A nod from Pete, “And you love me?” Another nod, “Okay... Pete Louis Hanson, you are my everything, the love of my life and all that... I am so bad at this... Erm, what I am trying and miserably failing to say is... Will you marry me?” Patrick pulled the small box from his pocket, opening it and presenting it to his lover as his hands trembled anxiously. A gasp escaped Pete’s lips as he saw what his boyfriend was trying to do.

“Yes! Of course Patrick, yes!” Pete cried like a young school girl. Patrick placed the ring on Pete’s finger, kissing him hard, “I owe you a ring,” Pete mumbled against Patrick.

“You don’t owe me anything.”


Patrick watched his laptop intently, his fiancé speaking to him through video chat. Pete had gone out of town to visit his brother Thomas for the week, leaving Patrick lonely and bored. Patrick just wanted his lover back home so they could cuddle and watch cheesy movies together.

“Can’t you just come home now?” Patrick pouted, missing Pete like crazy.

“No I can’t do that Patty, I’m sorry...” Pete sighed, “Why don’t you go hang-out with Brendon and Josh tonight or something?” Pete couldn’t stand seeing Patrick like this and wanted him to feel better.

“Yeah, I guess,” Shrugged Patrick, “I just want you,” It really broke Pete’s heart hearing this, he wished that he could pull Patrick through the screen and cuddle him for hours, but sadly that was impossible.

After around an hour or two of talking Pete had to go out with his brother somewhere, so he reluctantly ended the call with Patrick, who decided going out with Brendon and Josh wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. Patrick called them up and asked if they wanted to meet at a pub down the street from his place. All of them agreed to meet around six-ish that night and that is exactly what they did.


After having a great night with his friends, Patrick thought that he should get back home at about ten that night. Patrick said bye to the guys before leaving, on account of them wanting to stay he walked to his car by himself. The male felt extremely uneasy in the gloom of the night as he made his way to where he’d parked earlier. Patrick hated being alone this late at night, especially when he was out places instead of being in his own bed at home.

Patrick jumped into the driver’s seat of his car before quickly starting it, “Damn it’s cold out,” He shivered, turning the heat on. The boy peeled out of the parking lot and onto the seemingly empty road. It was pitch black outside, making it extremely hard to see where he was going. Patrick, being in the uneasy state he was in began to freak out. He could feel the anxiety building up inside of him as he had trouble staying on the road. Patrick’s breathing became more and more labored by the second and he had started shaking. The boy was now barely able to keep himself breathing let alone drive a car. Patrick knew that he could no longer keep control of the car, once it was too late to stop and he was already tumbling down an embankment on the side of the road.


Pete sat up wearily, the loudness of his ringtone for Patrick piercing the silence of the room, “Hello?” Pete yawned sleepily into the phone.

“Hello, is this, Pete Hanson?” A strange voice that Pete had never heard before asked him.

“Yes? Who is this? Why do you have my boyfriend’s phone?” Pete interrogated the man.

“This is Mercy Medical Center calling to tell you that your fiancé, Sean Irwin had just been airlifted to our emergency care unit after being in an extremely severe car accident, there is little chance he will make it. He is in surgery now, it is very unlikely that he will ever come out of a comatose state,” The man spoke rapidly.

“What!?” Pete choked, sitting bolt upright in his bed, “I-I’m on my way!” Pete was out of bed and in the car instantly.

“Please don’t die on me, Patrick... Please.”


Pete paced back and forth impatiently. Nobody would tell him anything or even let him go see Patrick, it’d been almost a week and he was in a coma and that is all that Pete knew, after a week. Pete had been a mess without Patrick, he hadn’t been home since and his brother had been trying his best to get Pete to just let go but he wasn’t letting go until he saw Patrick again, not until he said goodbye.

“Pete Hanson?!” A woman called through the crowded waiting room.

“Yes! That’s me!” Pete had never run as fast in his life.

“It doesn’t look like, Mr. Irwin is going to make it, I’ve gotten the doctor to let you see him and say your final words to him before he goes,” The woman hung her head in sympathy, “I am so sorry, Mr. Hanson,” Pete nodded, afraid that if he said anything than he’d start crying again. He followed behind the woman as she escorted him to Patrick’s room. When the woman opened the door, Pete was not prepared for what he saw.

“Oh dear God, Patrick...” Pete breathed, “No...” He rushed to his lover’s side and refused to leave it. The nurse let the two alone, seeing how distraught Pete was.

“Patrick, this is all my fault... No, you can’t leave me, Patrick... I-I’m so sorry,” Pete broke down into hysterical sobs as he gripped Patrick’s hand tightly. He stayed like this for hours, crying and crying, unable to stop. Pete felt a very weak movement from Patrick, and an instant pained groan. Pete’s head shot up to see Patrick’s half-alive body lying lifelessly in the bed, awake nonetheless.

“Patrick... I am so sorry... This is all my fault, I-I’m sorry!” Pete cried out to his lover.

“Shh, i-it’s not your fault,” Patrick’s voice was so small and barely there. This scared Pete, Patrick was always so loud.

“Yes it is, if I had never-”

“Stop, please...” Patrick coughed violently, blood... Lots of it, ” I love you Pete...”

“Patrick don’t...” Pete begged, already knowing what was happening.

“I love you so much, Pete... Please,” Patrick opened his eyes, his once bright blue eyes, so full of life, that were now dull and grey, nearly lifeless.

“I love you, Patrick, so, so much...” Pete was now sobbing again, he never knew goodbye could hurt this much.

“I will never forget you, Pete Hanson... I love you...” A steady beep filled the silence. Pete never moved, he stayed, holding onto his lover’s hand.


Patrick awoke with a start, tears trailing down his cheeks in a complete panic, breaking into a cold sweat. His arm moved around the empty space in his bed beside him, searching for his love.

“Pete!?” The frightened boy called out shakily as he sat up. His eyes scanning the room until they hit the calendar on the wall across from him.

July 14th, 2010

Just as Patrick read this, there was a knock at his apartment door.

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