It didn’t take long to get to Tania’s. As soon as we pulled up to the curb, she was out the door. She had three big bags of her own. I jumped out to help as Mike tried to figure out a way to get the luggage in the trunk and still be able to close it.
“What up, bitches!” She sounded a little drunk already. “Ya ready for this flight into wonderland?”
She spoke in code, but I knew what she meant. She started calling the yet-to-be-found donor, Mr. Wonderful. However, I wanted to hit her for being so crude about it. “Yeah, can’t wait.”
“Jesus, you both brought three different bags?” Groaning, he twisted and turned them around in the trunk.
“Maybe if ya turn that little one over there an’ then push the big one in the back. Then fit those two little-uns between those two big-uns; it might fit,” Tania told him, pointing as she tried to help.
He growled. “This is like a fucking jigsaw puzzle.”
“That’s one way to look at it…” I smirked but tried to stay out of the way. He was getting annoyed and Tania wasn’t helping the situation. She was most likely the cause of his annoyance.
He growled a lot, but when he did what she suggested, it worked. “Who has the glue, so we can paste this shit together.”
She giggled. “I knew it was gonna fit!”
“This is just for a week, right? Damn, you girls need a different outfit for each night?”
“Somethin’ like that.”
Sighing, he climbed back in the car. “Okay ladies, we’re off.”
Tania winked at him, licking her lips while blowing him a kiss. “Hey Mike, don’t forget we have to stop by the office an’ turn in our time sheets.”
Rolling his eyes, he frowned. “I remember.”
I noticed the way Tania teased him. There was something between them like sexual tension. It seemed to me that it was more than just a blatant hatred for each other. Tania acted like a jilted lover. Her flirting was at a level ten when he was around as if trying to make him see what he wasn’t getting. Then again, she did make it a point in the past to steal my boyfriends, maybe she was trying to take my husband? I could almost swear they’d been intimate once or twice. “Ya know, for you two to hate each other so much, ya sure do a lotta flirtin’. Ya sure ya never dated?”
“Nope,” she told me. “He rates low on the attractive scale. Besides, he’s an ass an’ unworthy of my treasures.”
He smirked. “Good thing for me. With you overusing it, your treasures are more like welfare cards. That means I’m too good for ya. Thank God.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s it.”
I nodded. Maybe it was just my nerves, or my guilty conscience getting the best of me. “Just sayin’.”
She sat up, leaning against the back of the front seat, draping her arm along the top. “Remind me when we get there that I wanna get somethin’ from California.”
Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. “Is your memory that short?” He knew what she was doing. She was trying her best to irritate him. The bad part was, it was working.
I ignored him. “Like what? A Knick-knack of some kind? Somethin’ with you can mean almost anything.”
“Something legal, I hope. I don’t expect you to get my wife in trouble with your shenanigans.”
“Legal? Well, they could be considered illegal, if you’re not on a beach, I guess. No, some type of clothes that scream, California.” She laughed. “Like maybe a thong bikini or somethin’.”
He scoffed. “You can get a thong anywhere. They aren’t just for California.” He was annoyed and I could hear it in his voice.
“True, but I’ll get one for me an’ Elyse. When those guys on the beach see your wife in her hot bikini, that could set off fireworks.”
If she was trying to piss him off, she was doing a damn good job! He growled, slamming his foot down on the accelerator. “Just like my foot up your ass will set them off too.”
I needed to do damage control. She pushed the wrong button with him. I didn’t know what she was trying to do, but I was ready to slap her. “Ya mean ass floss.” I glared at her. “That’s like flossin’ your ass cheeks all day; been there, done that, no thanks.”
She shrugged. “Well, it takes a little gettin’ used to, but it’s not that–”
“No thanks,” I interrupted her. She obviously wasn’t getting the hint that I wanted her to shut up! She was making things one-hundred-percent worse than they needed to be. “Besides, if I want everyone to see what my ass looks like, I’ll cut the rear outta my pants an’ walk around.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Mike groaned as if he saw that playing out in his mind. He hit the accelerator, weaving in out of traffic, angrily.