“Is it true?”
The voice woke me from my nap and I sat up with a jolt. Pirates of the Caribbean was rolling the credits on the TV. Ah. That explained the dream I had. It was so real I wanted to cry. It was late and I had slept for hours. I didn’t realize how tired I was.
Looking up, I noticed that Mike sat in the chair across from me, just staring at the plus sign in his hand. I had left everything on the table. I didn’t mean to leave it all out. I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do. However, I fell asleep.
“Is it true?” He was anxious. “Are you pregnant?”
Nodding, I smiled. “Yes. We’re gonna have a baby.”
Jumping up, he rushed over, wrapping his arms around me. He held me so tight and then released me, rubbing my belly. There were tears in his eyes and he was so happy. “How did this happen?”
No, I didn’t tell him how it happened. “Well, there’s this thin’ called a sperm an’ an egg.”
“This isn’t a joke, right? You’ve been to the doctors? You know for a fact that you’re one-hundred-percent pregnant?”
“No, it’s not a joke. Yes, I’ve been to the doctors. That’s where I got all the information from. They definitely wanna make sure we know what’s goin’ on in there.”
“Oh, my God! I’m so happy! I’m going to be the best daddy in the world. A baby!”
Tears flowed down my face as I watched his happiness. I knew if Corey were here, he’d react about the same way. “I know. We’re finally gonna have a baby.”
“Why are you crying?”
Closing my eyes, I watched as Corey got on the pirate ship and sailed off. It was meant to be. God gave me my little baby, even though he probably really frowned on how I got it. Opening my eyes, I laughed at him. “The same reason you are. Are ya really happy?”
I wasn’t sure why I wanted to know. I knew in my soul that the baby was Corey’s, not Mike’s. However, if Mike was happy about it then all my lies, planning, and schemes were worth it.
His face lit up with the smile. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m happier than I can say! I can’t believe I’m going to be a daddy. I have to go call mother and tell her that she’s finally going to be a grandmother!”
“Oh yeah... her... Yeah, I guess ya have to tell Maureen about it, don’t ya?”
My mother-in-law and I didn’t get along at all. Now, I know what you’re thinking. That’s normal. There’s hardly a time in history where in-laws got along. However, I think my case was worse than most.
Maureen Tanner was Mike’s mother and it was obvious from day one that she didn’t like me. It began when Mike and I started dating. He brought me over to meet his mother, which can be terrifying. She talked about Mike’s old girlfriends, their accomplishments, how they were so much better than me. It was obvious that I didn’t measure up to what she thought was good enough for her son. The tension was so thick, it could be cut by a machete.
On our wedding day, she was in mourning and wore black. It wasn’t just because we were getting married; it was because of all the broken hearts her son just shattered. When she toasted our wedding, it was more like a eulogy at a funeral. Her special message was how so many of his ex-girlfriends didn’t want him to get married, because they wanted another shot.
He laughed. “Come on now, honey. She’s going to be a grandmother. She won’t be so bad, I promise. I’ll tell her that she has to be on her best behavior.”
“That didn’t work for our weddin’ or did ya forget because I haven’t!”
“She apologized for that. She had a little too much to drink that night.”
“I’m sure that was why she did it. She apologized, yes, she did, right after ya threatened to never speak to her again. She embarrassed me durin’ my own weddin’. Now, you’re tellin’ me that I’m gonna be bonded to this woman for life?”
“Well yeah… usually the grandmother is a big part of the baby’s life.”
Maybe I didn’t think over this plan of mine very good. I was going to be attached to her until my dying breath because of a baby? What if the woman wasn’t related to the baby? Was there a way I could get rid of her and keep my husband? Don’t judge. I really hated his mother.
“If you were lookin’ for a way to burst my bubble, ya just did.”
Shaking his head, he laughed. “Oh stop. You and my mother don’t get along because you’re both more alike than either of you would believe. I think that’s the reason I chose you for my wife.”
“Not like that, silly. Every boy wants a woman like his mother because she was the one who cared for him and loved him. I hate to tell you love, but that’s you.”
“Ugh, don’t tell me I’m anythin’ like that woman! I’ll disown you right here an’ now!” I rubbed my little baby bump, smiling. “Don’t let the mean woman ya meet, your grandmother on your father’s side, scare ya. Just pee on her an’ show her whose boss.”
He laughed. “You’re terrible! Telling our unborn child to piss on his grandmother! You’ll see. She’ll be a different woman! Babies do that to people.”
“Yeah, not likely. I think it takes more than babies. Look at what happened to Hansel and Gretel when they came in contact with a mean, grandmother type of woman!”
“That’s a child’s fairytale.”
“It was created from a true story!” I barely got that sentence out before I yawned. I was really tired. The doctor said I would get my energy back, but it wasn’t happening yet. “I’m so tired an’ I didn’t do anythin’ today.”
“It’s because the baby’s tired, so take a nap and I’ll make dinner. I’ll wake you up when it’s done.”
“Ugh… food… I’m not doin’ so good on food today. I don’t think the baby’s too thrilled with eatin’ for a while.”
“Uh-oh, are you having morning sickness?” He smiled. “Aw, isn’t that cute?”
I glared at him. How in God’s name could he call that cute? “Did you just say mornin’ sickness is cute? It’s not cute. It’s like havin’ a stomach virus, or food poisonin’. I doubt I could keep anythin’ down to be honest with ya.”
“Well then I’ll make us some chicken soup or something.”
First, he went to call his mother. When he did, he closed his office door. Early in our marriage, I used to get jealous when he did that. It was like… he was blocking me out of his life with her. Later, I preferred it.