Lies, Sacrifices, and Alibis

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Chapter 4

She giggled. “We should go to the beach for a vacation. Just you an’ me like the old days, gettin’ crazy an’ havin’ fun!”

Her idea brought up visions of a beach with white sand. I could see the bluest ocean casting waves upon the shore. No clue how that was going to get me pregnant, but I was up for a vacation. I had a feeling the rest of her plan would come into play soon enough. “Hey! Now that’s an idea!”

“Seeeee. There’s nothin’ crazy, right?”

“No, which shocks me. I’m not sure how that’s gonna get me pregnant, though.”

“Forget about wantin’ it so bad. It might just happen on its own. Ya ever heard of the watched pot theory?”

“Ya can’t honestly tell me that ya think I’m not gettin’ pregnant because I want it so badly,” I groaned. “Now ya sound as bad as Mike an’ all his theories.”

“I’m just sayin’. Well, see that’s the cool part. When we get down there, we’ll find you a donor.”

“A donor?” The toaster finally ejected my muffin, slightly burned around the edges, which caused me to jump. Hell, it took so long, I forgot about it. I grabbed it, tossing it on the counter. It was very hot. Resting the phone against my ear, I took the knife and buttered it. “What kinda donor are ya talkin’ about?”

“Hello?” I could tell she was brushing her teeth. I heard the toothbrush going up and down. “Umm, the kind ya claim to need.” She spit. “A sperm donor.”

Shocked, the knife slipped from my fingers, clattering on the counter before I could cover it with my hand. The echo hung in the air, like an eerie fog hovering over a swamp. “What the hell? I don’t need that.”

“Ya don’t?”

“No! I can get all I need here. Besides, what am I supposed to do with that, rub it over my belly an’ wish real hard? I think it takes just a little bit more effort.”

She laughed as she finished brushing her teeth, spitting again. “No silly, but think about it! We find you a guy who looks like Mike.”

My mouth dropped open as my mind flew into the gutter. “Why?”

“Ya fuck ‘im like crazy for a week. Then we wait an’ see if ya get pregnant.”

Blinking, I stared at the counter. Her words were alien to me. I couldn’t have heard her right. She wanted me to cheat on my husband? Taking a bite out of my muffin, I shook my head. I wasn’t ruining my marriage for one of her crazy ideas!

Then again… her idea started the birth of a natural disaster in my mind.

“I really need to find you a thought filter that stops the flow of your mouth when your mind dives in the gutter. It might keep ya from sayin’ embarrassin’ things.”

“I’m serious. Think about it. How could it go wrong?”

“What? Are ya crazy? How could it go wrong? Haven’t ya heard about all the diseases floatin’ around out there?”

“What about ’em?”

“It’d be my luck to pick up some infected asshole, bent on destroyin’ women for his sleepin’ around with the wrong girls.”

“So, don’t grab one of those.”

I took another bite, washing it down with coffee. “I’ve been outta the datin’ scene for quite a while. How do we do that?”

“Ya pick a normal guy.”

“How do we know he’s normal?”

“We can just tell.”

Looking at the phone, I chuckled. She reminded me of a cartoon character, always spouting off the wall shit. “Yeah. Ya make it sound sooo easy. Are they wearin’ name tags now, so we can tell ’em apart?”

“What do ya mean?”

“How do I know just by lookin’ at someone that they’re not diseased?”

“What kinda disease?”

“Any! I don’t want any diseases an’ I don’t want my baby to have any either.”

“So ya stay away from those people.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy! What if he has some blood disease? Imagine this. The baby is in trouble. Maybe he needs a kidney or somethin’ an’ Mike wants to donate one. We’re at the hospital, but the doctor tells us, ‘“we need an organ but it can’t be from Mike. The tests prove that there is no way he’s the father of that child.”’ No matter how many times I tell ’em that I don’t know what happened when it comes back that I am the mother…” I shook my head, exhaling a long sigh. “I’m busted.” She laughed and I glared at the counter. “I fail to see the humor in that scenario.”

“Oh, c’mon! Like all that would happen! Well, at least think about it. Not every man has some disease waitin’ to spread around.”

I took another bite. My mind wrapped around her words and I actually thought about it. I saw the beach and every man there looked like Mike. It wasn’t possible. I knew that, but desperation played tricks with my mind. I began to think… maybe.

“What the hell, Tania?” I lowered my voice, glancing up the stairs. Even though it took an act of God to wake my husband, I didn’t want to take that chance. “That’s cheatin’ plain an’ simple. No matter how ya slice, dice, or overanalyze it. With a stranger, no less! I’m not gonna cheat on my husband to get pregnant. Besides, there’s no guarantee it would even work or that it would be hot sex! It would most likely be some minute man who wouldn’t know how to please a woman, much less get her knocked up. Then in my blatant frustration, I wouldn’t know who the father was! There could be five possible baby–daddies. That’d look great if I ever needed to find him. Besides, that’s how all those horror movies start; a one night stand an’ a whole mess of trouble!”

She laughed, imitating Maury. “You are not the father.”

“You are not helpin’.”

“I’m just givin’ ya the best plan that won’t cost ya an arm an’ a leg.”

“Yes, but your way is dangerous.”

“Lyse, think about it. Ya don’t get pregnant just sittin’ around. Besides, Mike was crystal clear about his thoughts on goin’ to some fertility center, an’ those aren’t guaranteed either. If… an’ that’s a huge if, ya do somehow manage to talk him into one, it’ll cost him thousands of dollars. Remember how he griped about the possible cost of a live-in nanny? That’s nothin’ compared to the clinic to find out if it’s his little wigglies or your baby maker that’s dead.”

Her continually preaching about me ‘not being able to have babies’ made desperation beat the hell out of me. “Shut up about that! Damn! The tickin’ has gotten a lot faster… an’ louder.” I sighed.

It was annoying enough at a slower rate. The more she talked about it, the more it sounded as if the natives were pounding out their own WipeOut version before attacking.

“Seeeee! Ya have to do this! There’s not much time to waste. The proof is in the tickin’.”

“Maybe not, but I’m sure it’s a hell of a lot safer. They test people for everythin’. What you have in mind is like this pornographic, sexual, Russian roulette. Spin the chamber an’ pray for the best. I dunno. I just… I… I dunno.”

“Just think about it.”

That was the problem. It was all I was doing! For every bad scenario, I also thought of the good to offset it. “You’re crazy. Are ya gonna be ready? I’m headin’ out the door now.”

She sighed. “Yeah. Come an’ get me for Moan-day Mondays.”

“I’m on my way!”

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