Lies, Sacrifices, and Alibis

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Chapter 59

I picked Logan up out of his playpen, holding him with one arm while I got his dinner, making faces at him that made him smile. “Are ya hungry? I think ya want some yummy nanners. I know ya like ’em. I love ’em.” After putting him in his high chair, I placed the bib around his neck and then played the ‘you don’t want that in your mouth’ game we always played.

He banged his hands down on the tray, grunting and growling.

I laughed. “Don’t start that crap. I’ll have to curb you of that, young man.”

“Curb him of what?” Mike walked in at that moment, putting his briefcase down on the table. He walked over to the high chair. “How’s my big boy?”

I felt like a burning volcano. I felt as if I was about to erupt any second. I wanted to strangle him. I wanted to kill him. I remembered each and every argument we had about babies. All the hoops he must’ve laughed about me jumping through. I rolled my eyes. Just the sound of his voice was like nails on a chalkboard. “Nothin’…”

“Do you want me to feed him?”

“No, I got it.”

Usually, I’d hand the spoon over to Mike. I felt it was bonding time for them. I could see by the look in his eyes that he was surprised that I didn’t. “Oh. Okay. Well, if you need help just let me know.”

“It’s not that hard, Mike. I’m sure I can manage by myself. I do this every day.”

He sighed. “Okay. What’s wrong?”

“What makes ya think something’s wrong?”

“Because you’ve done nothing but bite my head off from the moment I walked in the door!” He sighed. “Who pissed you off?”

“What? All I did was told ya that I could handle feedin’ my son an’ ya think I bit your head off? Wow, ya must be on your rag. You’re sensitive today. Take your snowflake ass outta here then.”

“Excuse me? Rag? Snowflake ass?! You did bite my head off. Maybe not with your words, but with your tone. What did I do? Why the hell are you so pissed off at me? Jesus! Everything was fine this morning and I come home and you’re pissed at me!”

If only he knew. “I was playin’ with Logan today an’ started thinkin’ about how he needed a little brother or sister. I think we should have another baby.”

His eyes widened. “Talk about bi-polar. What?”

“I want another baby.”

“You want… Logan’s only five months old. You already want another baby? Do you not remember all the pain you went through with that one because I sure as hell do?! The complete bedrest? The getting fat?!”

I looked up at him, curiously. “Yes. Why does this shock you? You knew from the day ya met me that I wanted a whole houseful of children.”

“Why don’t we wait until he’s two before we try again?”

“…because it took ten years to get this one. I scheduled us an appointment at the clinic for the end of this week.”

He blinked. “You did what?”

“You heard me.”

“Why?”

“Why? It took ten years for us to have a baby. Ten fuckin’ years, Michael. That is a long time. I wanna find out why it took so long for me to get pregnant.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I had slow swimmers in the beginning of our relationship?”

“Hmm… slow swimmers… interestin’.” I gave Logan another spoonful of bananas as he voiced his pleasure with it. “Mm, good huh, boo?”

“Why is that interestin’?”

“Just interestin’… Because the way we’re goin’ about it… one every ten years… I’m gonna be too old to have kids or have my baseball team at this rate.” I scooped another spoon of bananas and fed it to Logan, who started to beat on the tray again and coo with his mouth full. “That’s so rude, boo-boo.”

Shaking his head, he turned and picked up his briefcase. “I’m not doing this again. Can’t you be happy with Logan? You wanted a baby. You got a baby.”

“So, you’re not gonna go to the clinic with me? I’m goin’ with or without you. I wanna make sure there’s nothin’ wrong.”

“No.”

I shrugged. “Okay fine. I’m sleepin’ in the nursery tonight.”

“Why? What’s wrong with our bed?”

“You’re in it an’ right now I hate you more than I can say. I’m gonna find out why it took so long to have a baby.”

“I don’t know how you-” He stopped short, blinking at me. “You hate me?” He scoffed, looking down, disbelievingly. “Good God, how did you go from loving me this morning to hating me tonight?”

“I’m not speakin’ to you.”

“Elyse, whatever your issue is can’t be dealt with unless we talk.”

I glared at him. “What my issue is? It’s the same one I’ve had for ten years that ya refuse to even think about.”

“You’re being ridiculous. We have one child. It might have taken a while for him to be born, but he is here! There is nothing wrong. Maybe we just kept missing your fertile moments.”

“I’m still not talkin’ to you.”

He smirked. “You just did. Every time you tell me you’re not speaking to me, you’re speaking to me. I’m not going to a clinic.” He grumbled, taking his things upstairs.

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