Once the most beautiful, talented, and favored of all the angels, I wanted for nothing. Privilege was mine. I knew only a life of luxury, leisure, and song. His plans were of no consequence to me. That is, until the sixth day. I watched in amazement. They were capable of so much, yet formed from but the dust of His earth. Simple and alluring were their charms, and it was to be the beginning of my end.
Fascinated by humans, a name we soon bestowed upon them, we began to spend less time at our posts.
The one who had fallen spoke to me with the fervor of a meddling father. “If he would cast his most-adored son from here; what if you should displease him?” In those days, it was commonplace for Fallen to come upon us without invite.
When our brother appeared to a human female as one of them, He asked why he had done such a thing.
“I mean to marry her, to be bound to her on Earth.”
Our brother was not alone in his idiosyncrasies. So, our father presented us with a choice: live amongst humans on Earth, or remain. If we remained, we’d be forgiven our indiscretions and restored to our former glory, powerful and alive with light. If we chose Earth, the more time spent around humans, the more like them we would become—for He had already forbidden the joining of angels with humans.
I was among the first of twenty-three to leave.
As time passed, we became more like our beloved humans. Our powers faded but were not completely lost. We began to crave their company, rather than simply appreciate it. I indulged in their many vices; even enjoyed them.
Heightened senses enhanced certain desires, making them more difficult to control. Lust, anger, fear, coveting, and deceit enveloped me in a cloak of humanity. I learned to master most; even welcome them, while others longed for home.
The Divine One offered to take us back and gave us three days to decide. A great wrath awaited those who would dare refuse The Divine One not once, but twice. Still, twelve of us stayed and awaited judgment as night fell on the eve of the third day.
We retired to bed as humans do when the moon reigns supremely over their sky. I learned to sleep because it made my wife uneasy when she woke to find me sharpening knives. She knew not what I was, the truth of my origins. Instead, I embraced humanity, and prayed she would never have to know.
That night I woke with a strange sensation in my throat. My body felt odd, weak in the loin. I might even say, “human.” Heavy, stuffed with something other than the usual, songs, color and light, my head hung low. I heard a human heart, beating, moving blood in and out of it. The thought brought a smile to my flushed face. Then, an unfamiliar but welcome desire consumed me.