Finding Faith

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Lucy James never expected to meet Faith Lin again. It's been three years, and all she can think about is how Faith was her closest friend and first kiss. But now can she hope to save her? A long time ago, 13 year-old Lucy and Faith became good friends. Maybe even more than just friends. But it’s high school now, and 16 year-old Lucy is popular, on the school’s soccer team, with good grades and lots of friends, although worries about the attention, especially since she’s not that into guys. As fate would have it, she runs into Faith again, but her old friend has changed--moody and reclusive, with high anxiety and a talent for sarcasm. Lucy still wants to be friends, and she and Faith begin to reconnect, picking up where they left off, although this comes with heavy consequences. Through drama and confusion, Lucy and Faith must find a way to keep their friendship strong--and turn it into something much more.

Romance / Humor
4.8 11 reviews
Age Rating:


The first time I really talked to Faith Lin was when she threw snow at me.

It was the beginning of December, and brilliantly bright outside. My breath came out in visible wisps of air, swirling lazily in the cold. I would have stayed to enjoy it in any other case, but I was already late for school, and was in the process of running to get in the building, when I caught sight of her.

Faith Lin.

The self-proclaimed “artist with an edge”, who was standing out in the middle of the abandoned schoolyard, her arms raised above her head, as though getting ready to catch something.

Despite the chewing-out I was pretty sure I was certain to get later, I stopped and stared.

Faith was the same grade as me, but I always thought she looked younger than 13, much younger. She was small and slim, and her big purple coat and panda bear hat practically swallowed her.

I was just about to ask her what she was doing, as we were both going to be late for class, when she began to twirl on the spot. A quick little spin on the balls of her feet, lifting up onto her toes. She threw out her arms and tossed her head back, a huge grin on her face, as all around her snowflakes fell slowly to the ground.

I couldn’t help it. I stood completely still, watching her. I had never really spoken to Faith much before, although we were on friendly terms, which mainly consisted of a casual “Hi, how’s it going?” and a “Yeah, good. You?” every now and then.

We were also in the same class, but I had other friends I would usually hang out with, and Faith...Faith tended to be by herself, or with her friend Liz and no one else.

It wasn’t like they never talked to anyone else, it was just that...that was the way it was.

In front of me, Faith bent and picked up snow off the ground with her woolly gray mittens. When she had gathered a ton in her arms, she then threw them up, releasing the fallen snow back into the silvery sky with a little jump.

She leaned back again, and laughed, a surprisingly loud, happy sound in the midst of the empty yard. She picked up more snow, and did the same thing, spinning around cheerily as the fluffy flakes tumbled down again and again over her head, her shoulders, the ground. She spun and laughed again, clapping her hands together, each time releasing a puff of powder. Her laugh was high-pitched, delighted. It rang around the empty yard, echoing so merrily, it made me want to laugh too.

I paused, shifting from one foot to another. She hadn’t seen me yet, and I wasn’t sure whether I should leave or not. I probably should. I was going to be even more late, and Mrs. Irving was probably going to have a fit.

But I couldn’t seem to want to go.

Faith was enjoying herself, that much was clear.

Maybe that’s why I was so fixed on the moment. Because although I knew Faith was a generally good-natured person, I had never really seen her laugh quite like that. Never seen her look as though she was having as much fun as she was then.

I took a step forwards, a sudden urge to say something to her.

I took another step, then another. She still hadn’t seen me, and was picking up more snow, bundling it into the crooks of her arms.

I took a deep breath, directly behind her when I said loudly. “Hey, Faith--”

She spun with a gasp, her arms coming up in defense.

A wave of snow sprayed all over me as she accidentally flung it in my direction.

It covered my entire face, as I spluttered, spitting powder out of my mouth, and wiping it from my eyes.

When I cleared my view, Faith was waving her hands frantically in front of me.

“Oh, no. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry--”

“Faith.” I said, chuckling a little. “It’s OK.”

She tilted her head, as though confused. “Really?”

“Yeah,” I waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. It’s all OK. A little snow never hurt anyone.”

“Oh.” She said, still sounding slightly confused, as though she wasn’t entirely sure if she was going to get yelled at or not. “OK.”

We stood awkwardly after that, Faith turning her head to look at the side, the ground, it seemed anywhere except my face.

“You looked pretty happy there,” I commented out loud.

She jerked her head up quickly, eyes wide. “Um, you saw that?”

I shrugged, smiled at her. “Yeah.”

She ducked her head. “Well, it’s just...I like snow,” Her voice dropped low, embarrassed. “Don’t tell anyone?”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun,” I said reassuringly. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.”

“Oh,” She repeated, relief in her voice. “OK. Thanks.”

“No problem.” I said easily. Even though this was probably one of the longest conversations I had had with Faith, I was still known to be more of a ‘people’ person. I always really liked talking to other people, no matter the circumstance.

“So…” I began. “Do you throw snow around often?”

She shrugged, looking a little more at ease now. “Sometimes. I love it in the winter, especially when we get these huge snowfalls. You?”

“Nah,” I shook my head. “After falling headfirst into a snowbank when I was little, I’ve kind of lost my affection for it.”

Her eyes lit up, and she laughed, actually laughed out loud at my joke.

I didn’t know why, but I was really happy with myself for getting a laugh out of her.

“Well, then.” She said, when she finished giggling. “You should be careful. There’s a lot of snowbanks around here.”

I raised my eyebrows, and tossed my hair in mock-vanity. “Please. I couldn’t fall into one now even if I wanted to.”

The most evil little grin spread across her face in a sideways smirk.

“Oh, yeah?”

She dropped to the ground and grabbed a handful of snow, before promptly flinging it at me. It exploded across my shoulder in a burst of powder.

“You--!” I shouted, jumping down to start gathering my own snow for a counterattack.

She squealed and tried to dodge, but my aim was too good, and hit her in the stomach.

Instead of retaliating, she just laughed, the same bright laugh from before, and I couldn’t help joining in. It was too much. She was too much.

After about a minute or two, she stopped laughing, and approached me, the smile on her face melting into an expression of...confusion? Hesitation?

“ have a bit of snow--” She pointed at my face. “Right there.”

I tried to rub away at the indicated area, but she shook her head. “No, here I’ll get it.”

She pulled off her mitten, and reached out slowly, and gently, very gently, brushed at the side of my face.

Her touch was gentle, and for some reason, I felt my cheeks go hot under her gaze, but thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice.

“There.” She murmured, her hand lingering on my face.

I swallowed. “Faith--”

And just then the school bell rang.

“Oh, crap!” She jumped back as if burned. “We’re so late!”

I had completely forgotten about the time. She shoved her mitten back onto her hand, and I bent down to pick up her bag for her.

“Th-thanks,” She mumbled, looking away.

“Anytime,” I answered, and we ran for the entrance. Just before we went in, she touched my arm. “Hey, Lucy?”


“...Thanks. For you know. The fun.”

I smiled at her. “Anytime.”

She slowly smiled back, her face lighting up right up until we pushed through the doors and into the school.

In the classroom, I ran over to sit with my group of friends at the front, while Faith slipped away to join Liz at the back of the room.

And even when Mrs. Irving put her hands on her hips and glowered at me with a perfectly exasperated expression, I couldn’t bring myself to regret playing around with Faith.

She really was something.

Winter passed by in a blur. Faith and I talked a little more, usually just casual conversation, like “ was your weekend?” and other trivia.

We didn’t really start becoming closer until around the beginning of June, where Faith would even show me some of her drawings, and I would be nothing but impressed with them. I liked making her laugh most of all, which wasn’t always so easy, but when she did laugh, it was long and loud and never failed to make me join in.

We even started hanging out at recess together, or whenever our teachers surrendered and let us have random breaks to chill out outside in the sun.

All in all, I just liked spending time with her. Maybe even more than anyone else.

There was just something about her. Something different.

While all this was happening, our respective friends would just stare at us in shared confusion, like “When did they get so friendly all of a sudden?”

Faith and I didn’t care though.

Our new friendship was just beginning, and it was something exciting.

The end of June was a solemn time, however. Though the majority of us had gone on the school’s band trip, which had been nothing but extravagant fun, the constant memory that high school was just a summer away unnerved everyone, including me.

Faith was one of the worst, though.

Although we still talked a lot during class, she would get this distant look in her eyes, like her mind was constantly elsewhere, someplace I couldn’t go.

But whenever I asked her about it, she simply shrugged and grinned, trying to cover it up.

But I knew her better now. And I could tell when something was off.

On the last day of school, a lot of the Grade 8s were either sobbing, hugging each other, or laughing like there was no tomorrow.

Actually, sometimes even all three at once.

We had to help out carrying desks and other school equipment back and forth from one room to another. Our homeroom class was getting repainted over the summer, and they wanted to make sure everything was all fine and out of the way for when they did.

I was hugging my friend Layla goodbye in the hallway when I heard something from inside the classroom. It sounded like someone singing.

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you wanna go

I let go of Layla, giving her one last reassuring pat on the shoulder before heading back in.

There were still students carrying things out of the room, but the number of them had decreased by a lot. In the back corner of the room sat Mrs. Irving in her desk chair, looking to the front of the room and positively beaming.

And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window

I followed her gaze and the sound of the music, and saw none other than Faith, standing boldly at the front of the room.

She was the one singing.

If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

But more than anything, more than anything

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold

I watched her, and it was like the first time in the snow, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I mean, I knew she loved to draw, and also wrote, but I had no idea she was also such a capable singer as well.

Her voice was clear, and although it was quiet, it still resounded around the room, soft and beautiful.

And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too

Yeah, this is my wish.

Some students turned to stare at her too, interested to know what was going on.

Faith just kept singing, even though any other day she could have been cringing under the pressure of so many people looking at her.

But not that day.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you live,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,

And you help somebody every chance you get

Her face was calm, her eyes shut as she sang. It was a slow country song, and oddly familiar to me. It was "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts.

Mrs. Irving looked especially pleased, bobbing her head along to the music. I saw Liz at the front of the room, smiling for once, looking happy for her friend as well.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

I started to understand. This was more than just a little impromptu performance for Mrs. Irving or our class. This was Faith’s way of saying goodbye to elementary, goodbye to some people neither she or I would ever see again, at least for a while.

And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

I looked up again, and noticed something distressing. Faith was crying.

Not sobbing openly like some of the other kids in the hall, but there were glistening tears dripping down her cheeks out from under her closed eyelids.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

I looked around. No one had really seemed to notice, except me. Was I really the only one who saw this?

You never need to carry more than you can hold

I looked at Liz, probably the closest one to Faith in the room.

She was still smiling, in plain support for her friend, but it seemed a little concerned now, and her fists were clenched on the desk in front of her as she watched.

And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too

I wanted to pull Faith away. I wanted to stop her, so I could bring her in for a hug like I had done for many other people that day, and help her stop crying.

Somehow, there was something horrible about watching her cry above everyone else.

It made me feel like punching something.

This is my wish

I hope you know somebody loves you

May all your dreams stay big...

She finished with a perfect note, and opened her eyes at last. She frowned in what appeared to be confusion, and wiped away the tears as though she had no idea they were even there to begin with.

Mrs. Irving clapped enthusiastically. “Wow, well done, Faith! Beautifully sung!”

Faith looked at her, and smiled, a little shyly, but proud all the same. “Thank you, Mrs. Irving.”

Liz rose, and grinned at her. “That was awesome.”

“Thanks!” She laughed as Liz gave her a dramatic thumbs-up.

I walked over to her. When she saw me coming, her expression changed. It wasn’t a big difference, but I still noticed it all the same.

“...Hey, Luce.” She said, suddenly looking shy all over again. She looked like she was one step from running off, and there was no way I was about to let that happen.

She watched me approach her slowly, her eyes wide as I reached out towards her.

She let out a muffled sound of surprise as I suddenly pulled her into a fierce hug.

“Amazing,” I said quietly, into her ear. “You were so good.”

“Th-thanks.” She stammered, and hesitantly wrapped one arm around my shoulders.

I pulled back and looked at her very seriously.

“Now all we need to to teach you how to properly throw a football around.”

She looked taken aback a moment, before she burst out laughing. “Oh, God.”

I grinned, continuing to joke, “I don’t think you should have passed for that unit. Technically, hitting someone in the back with the ball doesn’t really count as a touchdown--”

“You are the worst,” She complained, recalling the incident. After (finally) catching the football (for once), Faith had been so excited she had thrown it with a little too much enthusiasm straight into an unsuspecting Franklin Day’s back, knocking him into the dirt.

“Not everyone can be a superior athlete like you. I didn’t mean to hit him!”

“You were literally two feet away!” I pointed out.

“We were one point down!” She protested, though there was still clear amusement in her voice. “Things escalated!”

I laughed, throwing an arm across her shoulders. “Whatever are we gonna do with you, Faith Lin?”

She shoved me playfully with her hip, knocking me off-balance. “No idea.”

She and I stood like that for a few moments, smiling goofily at one another until Liz cleared her throat pointedly.

“Oh, right, OK.” Faith mumbled, stepping away. For some reason, the movement made me feel disappointed somehow. Like it was too quick.

I turned, flashing her one last smile. “Anyways, I better go say bye to a couple more people. I’ll see you soon, OK?”

“Yeah.” Faith nodded, although she looked a little reluctant. “See you soon.”

I left her and Liz standing in the classroom, and headed back to the hallway, hugging a few more people, clapping others on the shoulder (yeah, it sounds a bit stupid and formal, but everyone was doing that, alright?).

Lockers were steadily cleaned out, paper trash and other crap thrown around like no one had a care in the world.

About a half hour passed before the buses were about ten minutes from leaving, but I wasn’t worried. I was going over at a friend’s house after school, and they only lived about a 15-20 minute walk away.

I was just about to go out and wave a final goodbye to the leaving buses, when I heard a faint sobbing down the hallway.

The hall was practically deserted, mostly everyone, including the teachers having cleared outside to the parking lots. Curious, I followed the sound until I reached a corner where someone was huddled.

It was Faith.

She had her knees drawn up, and her head buried in her chest.

Muffled sobs made her body shake as she continued to cry.

More than anything, that sight itself made me shudder where I stood. I wasn’t scared so much as I was concerned, or even mad.

Whatever was making her so sad, I wanted to go out and take it down if I could.

And even if I couldn’t I would still give it a shot.

I knelt down in front of her, and put my hand on her knee. “Hey.”

She jerked her head up, and her startled dark eyes met mine. “Oh.” She relaxed when she recognized me. “Lucy. Wh-what are you d-doing?” Her voice came out in little stutters, probably because of her crying. She started to wipe away at her eyes frantically, as if that would cover up that she had been sobbing just a moment ago.

“Are you OK?” I asked quietly.

“Y-yeah.” She muttered, dropping her gaze.

“Faith.” I said sternly. “Seriously.”

She sighed. “No.”

I looked around the hall. No one was coming close anytime soon. It seemed like everyone else was outside now.

I looked back to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She lifted her head, just enough that I could see her watery eyes, and nodded.

“OK.” I sat back. “So what’s wrong?”

She hesitated before speaking, her voice low and raspy, like it got sometimes when she was tired. “I...I guess I’m not looking forward to...high school.”

“Well, no one really is.” I reasoned. “Still, it’ll be awesome to get out of this place though--”

“Not what I meant.” She cut me off. “I mean...elementary is totally annoying, and boring sometimes, but at least--” She took a deep breath. “--At least it’s easy. I mean, only gets harder from here on out, right?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” “No, but really,” She insisted. “You know it does.” “Then I’ll worry about it when the time comes,” I said breezily. “And what if you...can’t do anything?” She pressed. “What then?” I thought for a moment. “Then...I’ll still push through it. No matter what.”

I looked at her, completely serious, hoping she knew I really meant it. She lifted her head fully, her eyes a little disbelieving as she shook her head at me. “Lucy James,” She said softly, like it was a name she was both proud and tired to speak of at the same time. “How did the world ever deserve you?”

I snorted and poked her in the forehead, as she made an adorable squawk of indignation, and tried to fend me off with her arms.

“Feeling better now?” I asked her. She nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

I stood, and reached out a hand to pull her up. “The buses are leaving soon,” She mumbled. I nodded. “Yeah.” We stood silently like that for a minute or so, neither of us really knowing what to say.

“I’ll see you in the summer?” I asked hopefully. She grinned, looking up. “Definitely.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“I bet you will.”

She held out her hand, like she was ready for a handshake, but I rolled my eyes at her instead. “No way. C’mere.” And I pulled her into another hug. She wrapped her arms around me, and I held her tight, closing my eyes. For what felt like forever, it was just me and her in the empty, sunny hallway, neither of us wanting to be the first to let go. It was an ending, but maybe it felt just a little like a beginning too.

When we finally broke apart, Faith broke the silence.

“I’m gonna miss you,” She murmured, looking at the ground.

“Me too.” I replied. Then, “But we are going to have so much fun this summer, to make up for it.”

She scoffed, but couldn’t hide her smile. “You better not make me go to that crappy trampoline park.” “You know I will.” I said honestly. “And we are going to bounce the death out of that place.”

She rolled her eyes. “That is awful.”

“Yeah, but you like it.” I smirked, and grabbed her hand. “Now I believe your bus is waiting, My Lady.” “Thank you, good Sir.” She giggled, as I pulled her up the hall and out the doors. “Anytime!”

Luckily, Faith did look a lot more cheerful as she leaned out of the window to wave goodbye to all the teachers and remaining students crowded beside the buses. She caught my eye and grinned, flinging her arm back and forth like a maniac, while I laughed at her antics. She laughed too as the buses began to pull out of the parking lot for the last time that year.

I waved and waved until they were no longer in sight, until Faith’s beaming face had vanished in the distance.

And just like that, our last year of elementary school was over.

Summer was a blistering blaze of sunshine, beach days, movies, and sleepovers.

It was probably one of the best I’d ever had, really.

As promised, I did end up dragging Faith to the trampoline park with me, which ended up being a lot of complaining and definitely much more fun than either of us expected.

Faith was tiny, but she could jump extremely high, higher than I could. “How--are--you--so good--at--this?” I puffed out, as we bounced higher and higher into the air.

Faith smirked, seeing she had at least half a foot on me in jumping height. “It helps--not being--a hulk.”

“Hey!” I protested loudly, as we bounced up again. “I am--NOT!”

She just flashed me a teasing grin. “OK--maybe more--like--Frankenstein.”

“Am NOT!”

“Are too!”




“Big--green--slow...sounds about right!”

“C’mere!” I growled, as we bounced back up, and she shrieked as I tackled her onto the trampoline, scattering a few other people, who shot us dirty looks as they hopped away.

We went back a lot more after that.

There wasn’t much else to do except hang out. Faith went to sleepaway camp for two weeks, during which she sent me letters about how horribly mosquito-infested it was and how there was not enough food for all the girls in her cabin. When she came back, we walked over to the Dairy Queen’s near her house and she filled me in on all the details about how they hadn’t even celebrated her 14th birthday and how there were even actual mice crawling around her cabin while they were there.

“I am so glad I’m back,” She claimed, digging her spoon around in her cookie dough blizzard. “But it’s all good experience, right?” I grinned.

She scoffed. “The only good thing to come out of it is that I now have greater appreciation for the finer things in life.” She took a huge spoonful of ice cream and shoved it in her mouth with delight. “Like this, for example.”

She and I did pretty much everything there was to do that summer. We biked to the park, walked around the mall, climbed trees in the forest (I found I was terrible at climbing, and Faith laughed her head off at watching me struggle to get higher than a few feet off the ground), hung out at each other’s houses. Faith came over to my house a lot. It was just usually just me and my dad, as my mom was constantly travelling for her job, and for some reason, Faith always seemed to like coming over to my house much more than hers.

Whenever I asked, she just shrugged, and muttered “It just...feels safer over here.”

I never asked her what she meant by that.

I slowly began to notice how things were gradually changing between me and her. Over the summer, she had loosened up a lot, and seemed to be a lot more comfortable telling me about herself. It was the same with me, but I was naturally more of an open book to begin with. Faith was much harder to understand.

I couldn’t always ignore how I felt when I was with her, how I never seemed to be able to stop smiling when she was there, and how I almost always felt a little empty when she left.

Was this...just missing a friend? Or maybe, could it be...something else?

I had no clue.

Or maybe I did, but didn’t have the courage to say it out loud.

Finally, on one of the last days of summer vacation, we ended up getting driven down to the beach by her parents. It was a gorgeous day out, extremely hot and sunny with just a light wind. Lake Moineau was a popular spot, so we had to spend about 20 minutes just looking for a place to put down our beach towels and umbrellas for shade.

We were there with Faith’s best friend Alex. Alex was tall, with long dark blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders, and big gray-blue eyes. She pretty much dwarfed Faith, but that didn’t stop Faith from jumping on her from behind and making her fall into the water. Alex splashed her with a huge wave in retaliation, and she laughed, trying to dodge further attacks.

I couldn’t resist jumping in too, and soon it was Alex and I against Faith, who declared it as betrayal of the greatest kind, and completely doused me.

I growled and tackled her into the water.

Alex, as it turned out, was just starting as a synchronized swimmer, and we had a little race underwater from the shore to the edge of the floating barrier and back. It ended up being a tie, with Faith acting as referee, and she joined in when Alex and I competed to see who could stay underwater the longest, Faith literally clinging onto Alex’s arm as she kicked out confidently deep beneath the sparkling surface.

Afterwards, we had lunch, hot dogs and juice boxes that Faith’s parents brought out, and food that was so good in the heat I thanked them for it over and over again.

Alex lounged back in her beach chair after making a few more lengths underwater, and refused to go back in until after she read some of her book.

That left me and Faith, as her parents preferred to take a walk down the shore by themselves.

I dove back into the lake, swimming broad strokes out near the very edge of the barrier line the lifeguards had set up. I pushed as far as I could, as close as I could possibly get.

Looking back, I could see Faith in the shallows, sitting with her legs in the water, and her head tilted back to look at the bright blue sky. I sighed, and paddled back, most of the way completely underwater.

She didn’t even notice when I pulled up beside her, staring at the sky the entire time.


“Oh!” She gasped. “Jeez, Lucy. I didn’t even see you there.”

“Yeah, I figured.” I teased, as she rolled her eyes. “So what are you doing over here?”

“I dunno,” She answered. “Relaxing, I guess.”

“Do you want to come into the deep end with me?”

She shook her head. “Maybe later.”

“Why not now?” I pressed.

“Because it’s cold.”

“Don’t be lame. Come on.” I took her arm, and gave her my most pitiful stare. “Please?”

She sighed overdramatically. “Ugh. Fine.”

We ended up not going as far in as I wanted, because Faith kept complaining how cold she was, and how I must be part polar bear to have survived this long.

I ignored her, and tried to ignore how she never let go of my hand even once when we swam further and further. We were about a foot away from the edge of the barrier when Faith spoke up.


I stopped. “Yeah?”

“I’m…” She shrugged helplessly, still clutching my hand. “I’m really gonna...I’m really gonna miss you, you know.”

“I know,” I said. “Me too.” It was somehow even more meaningful than our conversation back in the school. I was going to Laken March Secondary School, and she was going to Greenwood School, an all-girls only private school.

We wouldn’t get to see each other as much anymore.

She put a hand to her eyes, and I realized she was tearing up. “Hey, hey.” I said softly, pushing her hand aside. “It’s gonna be fine. I promise.”

“Really?” She sniffed, dark eyes wet, and not from the lake.

“Yes.” I reached out and pushed dark hair behind her ear, back from her face.

“There. That’s better.”

She looked away, biting her lip. “Lucy--”

But just then, Alex called from the shore. Jeez, that girl’s voice sure could carry far.


“We have to go,” Faith still looked miserable, and I didn’t know how to help. We swam back to shore, packed up our stuff and drove away.

On perhaps one the very last days of summer, Faith came to a sleepover at my house with a bunch of my friends.

We played truth or dare, and hide and seek, which were younger games, but didn’t fail to make us hunch over laughing until our sides hurt.

Faith was the best at hiding, probably because she was able to cram herself into the tightest, darkest little corners imaginable.

I, however, sucked at hiding from anyone, and usually was ‘It’.

We drank pop and ate chips and chatted for hours until my dad came down and suggested that we try and get at least a little sleep before morning.

So we shut up and rolled out our sleeping bags in the basement, Faith setting hers next to mine. We turned out the lights and said goodnight to each other (albeit very giggly, high-pitched ‘goodnight’s’).

But I still couldn’t sleep.

Maybe it was because of the sugar, or maybe because my adrenaline from all the excitement was still super high, but I just couldn’t drift off.

I groaned and rolled over onto my stomach, squinting at the digital clock glowing in the dark.

12:27 A.M.


I rolled back over onto my back, listening to the sound of my friends snoring around me.

“Lucy?” A soft voice whispered beside me.

“Yeah?” I answered as quietly as I could.

“Can’t sleep too?”

I shook my head, even though she probably couldn’t see it in the dark.


There was a pause, before she let out a sigh. “You looking forward to high school?”

“I guess so.” I said neutrally. “I guess I’m a little excited for sure, but I’m not really sure what it’s really going to be like. How about you?”

“I’m not.” She said. “I mean, I’m not. Looking forward to it.”

“Why?” I asked, concerned. “No boys?” The last part was a joke, although I cringed inwardly at how stupid it sounded afterwards.

She was quiet. There was silence, silence where all I could hear was breathing and quiet snores.

Then she said, “No.” She took a deep breath. “Because...there’ll be”

I moved closer to her side, rolling over to face her, or at least where I thought her face was.

“‘No’ what?” I whispered. I could feel her breath on my face, tickling my skin.

“...No you.” She breathed.

And she kissed me.

Warmth spread across my skin from the moment her lips touched mine. My entire face grew hot. It was short, but it still felt electrifying.

I was completely and utterly shellshocked.

“ Th-that w-was…” I stammered stupidly, for once, unable to come up with words to say.

“Sorry,” She whispered, and I could hear the sheer panic in her voice. “I-I’ll g-go now.” She fled into the guest bedroom and closed the door behind her before I could even think to stop her.

I stared blankly at my outstretched arm.

What had just happened?

Faith left earlier than anyone else the next morning. She called her parents to pick her up from my house as soon as she woke up. I barely got a final “goodbye” from her before she picked up her bag and walked out the door.

And there she went.

One of the people I had come to feel the closest to, and now I might not get the chance to see her for who-knows-how-long.

If she even wanted to see me, that is.

Faith had acted so scared when she had kissed me that night. If I thought back on it, I could just barely make out her features in the darkened room, her eyes widening in shock as she realized what she had done.

She hadn’t even wanted to stay the next morning, and had said nothing about what had happened. It might have not happened at all.

My first kiss.

And it was with a girl.

And even though Faith had seemed sure I was horrified at the thought of it, I was far from it. I had...I had liked it.

I liked her.

And now she was gone.

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