Feelings Show- Angelica
Today, Mildred and I are at Kindy for the first time. We have not met any friends yet or done anything. All we are doing is sitting in a circle around Miss Vlanet talking about ourselves and sharing things like what our favourite sport is, or maybe our favourite food, what our hobbies are, and many other topics. I’m a boring person. Mildred never seems bored and is always happy wherever she goes or during whatever she does.
Not me. I am a very shy person who is not very fond of life. I’m the younger of the two of us. I have no cousins on either my dad’s or mum’s side. I have one aunty and uncle on my dad’s side and two grandparents on both my mum’s and dad’s sides. My mother was the only child in her family. My dad always had his big sister, Courtney, who was a famous songwriter and singer. I wish I were famous, but I’m way too shy. I don’t know what it is with twins. One is always girlie and more outgoing than the other. I’m the shy one, and I’m not as girly as Mildred. I would some days consider myself a tomboy.
“Angelica, would you like to tell the class what you do and what you like?” Miss Vlanet asked, pointing at me.
I blushed. Everyone watched me. I whispered into Mildred’s ear, “I can’t. I’m scared.”
Mildred nodded, obviously knowing that I was in one of those fancy moods where I am too scared to move or speak. I didn’t like talking to people – never have – and I hated being stared at.
“Something wrong, Miss Angelica? You look a bit pale and flushed,” Miss Vlanet said.
I ran out of the room. Mildred and Miss Vlanet followed. Then so did the rest of the class. Why did everyone have to follow? Everybody was out in the hall. The other kindergarteners were instructed to go back inside, except for my sister.
“Miss, Angelica is shy. She has trouble speaking,” Mildred said.
“Oh, I see. Do you two want some time together outside for a while, or maybe watch some TV in the playroom?”
“Miss, can we sit in the naughty corner?” Mildred asked cheekily.
Miss Vlanet stared at my sister. Why would my sister want to do that? We were not in trouble at all.
“Mildred, why do you want to be in the naughty corner?” she said.
“I would like to read books with my sister there for a while.”
Now I was suspicious. Mildred had never read a book before. She could hardly read. What was so remarkable about these books in the naughty corner?
“Well, if Angelica wants to do it, you can,” Miss Vlanet said.
Mildred jumped around as if she had just won a prize. It’s normal, though. She does it all the time. I had to find out what all the drama was about, so I went inside with her and sat in the naughty corner.
“Mildred, what’s going on? I’m embarrassed being over here. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Behaviour books. Our parents. Get it?”
I gave her a what-are-you-talking-about look. We both believed we were telepathic. We had once watched a science show about telepathy and decided to test ourselves.
We closed our eyes and read each other’s thoughts. She must have been concerned about our parents. I do believe her, however. We never seem to spend much time with them at all. I was lost in my own thoughts. I felt sorry for my sister. However, I didn’t get the part about the behaviour books and how that was supposed to help us. It all seemed a bit odd to me.
“Angelica, there might be answers in these books to all of our concerns.”
I still didn’t get it. It’s impossible to solve others’ problems. I don’t know what she was getting up to, but she needed a break. A long one, too. All this starting school business was going to her head. Mother and Father told us both that it was where we were to learn things, not muck around and go wild like she was now.
I stuck with the plan. If I had to read a book, I had to do it. Mildred was already reading a picture book and studying the images. I went through the shelf. A small, blue book caught my eye. “Do not open,” it read. I hid it in the jacket I was wearing. I know it’s bad to steal a book, but I needed to find out what it was about. I listened to Mildred mumbling as she carefully flicked through the pages. She obviously found nothing important or interesting in the book. It was in her facial expression that I could tell this. She finally finished.
“Get anything?” I asked.
“I’m ready to go back to learning, Mildred. Can you come with me?”
“Are you sure? You didn’t look all right before.”
“I’m fine now. Come on.”
We re-joined the circle of kids.
Miss Vlanet and the class were playing a game. Mildred and I sat out and watched. They finished soon. In my current condition, I would never be able to make a friend. I would have to rely on my sister to do it for me. I frowned. Something inside me told me that I would never survive without my sister. I felt the fear coming that I might lose my life. I removed the thought from my head just in case Mildred was listening.
“Class, who wants to make something?” Miss Vlanet asked.
My sister and the rest of the class put their hands up wildly. I didn’t. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I felt lost and uncomfortable. I had never been this far from home in my life. I always did something with my sister alone, but now that is all changing. If my parents had shown more love and respect for me, I wouldn’t be feeling this way right now. Mildred always found the light at the end of the tunnel; I never have. It was too far away; I couldn’t see it. I wasn’t blind, and I wasn’t dumb. It all came to me so quickly that I could never have time to find it. Mildred cannot help me find it. No one can. It’s a person’s responsibility to find the light for themselves, not another’s.
I wish things could be different in this world. The problem is that days come and go with either bad or good effects. Everything that was going around my brain now was giving me a huge headache. I felt myself drifting off.