The Japanese family’s house was back to its normal quiet state. Kendo’s sister, Suki, was resting and so Eve sat quietly, waiting for the Kunosawas to return from their private conversation. She could hear them having a hushed discussion outside the sitting room.
Nothing came to mind when she wondered what they could have to say to her at this stage. If she had been in their place, she would have wanted them out of her sight as quickly as possible, for the reminder they held of Kendo. Thinking that way made her feel a little guilty but she was only being honest. Right now she couldn’t deal very well with anything that brought her dead love to mind.
When they came back in, Kendo’s mother gave her a tender smile. They had been speaking on the phone since her son’s death and Mrs. Kunosawa had thought that Yvonne sounded alright. Now looking at her face to face, she realized just how much she had been affected by the incident.
While Yvonne was still dressed perfectly and her hair was styled beautifully, she had tell-tale shadows under her eyes and her expression was drawn in a constant frown. It seemed she even breathed differently, as though every breath was a burden. There was no evidence of inner peace and this troubled Mrs. Kunosawa. The older woman hoped the girl would take the next issue positively.
“Is something wrong, Mrs. Kunosawa?”
“No, my dear… everything’s fine.”
Her brows knit together momentarily. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
“Yvonne, we’ve been thinking,” Mr. Kunosawa spoke thoughtfully. “What if the same thing that happened to Miss Konishiki had occurred with you?”
As soon as his meaning was clear to her, heat fused into Eve’s face and she thanked God for the phenomena of dark skin.
Mr. Kunosawa noted her discomfort, though and said, “If Kendo had married Konishiki it would have been very hard for you. And I think especially since you were planning to marry him, you didn’t take precautions every time…” he trailed off, letting it sink in.
“Oh. You think I might actually be-? No…” she said without much certainty.
“It’s a possibility.”
“And if I am...?”
“We’d like you to let us know,” Mrs. Kunosawa said. “I know we are grasping at hairs, Yvonne but- Kendo was our only son,” her voice shook and yet she continued, “we would like to be a part of his child’s life.”
Yvonne was stuck between a rock and a hard place. They hadn’t considered the pain she would endure going through pregnancy alone, without the love of her life. But she knew that if she was truly frank with herself, she probably wouldn’t be able to terminate the last link she had with Kendo.
If she was even pregnant.
She remembered the last time they were together and she felt saddened. But only for a moment. It had been incredible and she doubted she would ever forget it. If that or any of the times before had resulted in a baby, how amazing would that be?
She would have a piece of Kendo Kunosawa for the rest of her life. Their baby would be a celebration of their unsung union and proof that he had been alive and had been hers in every sense. That child would be her pride and joy and favourite person in the world.
The more she thought about it, the faster her heart beat. She knew that the Kunosawas needed this almost as much as she herself suddenly did. It was truly a last hope, but she wouldn’t deprive them of that if she could help it.
Realising that they were both waiting for a response to their request, Yvonne reached for Mrs. Kunosawa’s hand. “Of course.”
“Thank you, Yvonne.”
Yvonne spent the night in their home and the next day after breakfast, she fainted for the third time since Kendo’s death.
When Mrs. Kunosawa heard this, her breath caught in her throat. “Maybe you should go see a doctor.”
Yvonne knew why the other woman looked so hopeful. Again, she was stuck between hoping it were true and praying it wasn’t. She hadn’t been eating or sleeping well even before the accident, so she knew there were so many reasons why she may have fainted. But that didn’t take away from the fact that it could have been something other than poor nutrition and lack of rest.
She knew and it made her feel scared but she said, “Yes, maybe I should. I- I’ll make an appointment.”
Eve decided to make it a Friday so that if she was carrying Kendo’s child, she would have time to digest the implications. And if she wasn’t… she would have a little time to accept that the only thing left of Kendo was his ashes.
Sitting in her doctor’s office, her gut felt cold.
From the moment Dr Langley had closed the door and sat across from her, she had felt a little numb.
“You look a little green today, Yvonne. Are you feeling okay?”
Before she could say anything, she began to feel ill.
She barely made it to the toilet in the adjacent room before giving up all her breakfast.
Langley followed her, handing her a towel after she had rinsed her mouth and face.
Yvonne slowly nodded. “I- I’ll be fine. I’m just nervous.”
“Okay, why don’t you tell me what today’s visit is about. Have you been sleeping alright since the last time I saw you?”
“I’ve been sleeping better, thanks. It’s still hard for me to close my eyes…”
Sympathy reflected on the physician’s face before she asked again, “What’s today’s visit about?”
“Well, I had a talk with Ken’s parents,” Eve began hesitantly. “And I fainted at their house the other day, so they suggested I come get a test done.”
The doctor’s eyebrow went up but she said nothing.
“They think I might be pregnant too.”
Langley knew enough of the story surrounding her troubled patient to understand what she meant by ‘too’.
“I see. So you want to do a pregnancy test?”
“I know I could have just bought one over the counter,” Yvonne began, her eyes tearing up involuntarily.
Langley reached over and squeezed her hand. “Shh, we can do it here, Yvonne. Don’t you worry about that. I’m glad you came to me. You never mentioned the fainting before- it might just be fatigue, but we’ll run a test or two to eliminate anything else.”
“Ok,” Yvonne nodded, taking the proffered tissue.
“We’ll take a blood sample and a urine sample. And you can take a rest in here while we do everything. The pregnancy test won’t take long, naturally. If it comes back positive, I might ask you to stick around a little longer so that we can discuss your options and the way forward.”
Langley looked into the familiar hazel green eyes of her patient, who nodded silently. She paged a nurse and gave some instructions then handed Yvonne a plastic cup.
“I’ll be right out here. When you’re done, leave the cup on that counter and we head next door for the blood sample.”
By the time the doctor and patient returned, preliminary pregnancy test results were on the desk. Langley told Yvonne to take a seat.
Yvonne watched the older woman peruse the information on the paper in front of her. She held her breath when their eyes met.
The doctor held her gaze steadily and Yvonne started shaking her head.
The woman raised a hand to silence her. She knew.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to brook the tears that wanted to explode out of her. She pressed her fingers against her lips.
“Are you alright?”
For the second time that morning, Yvonne managed to say, “I- I’ll be fine.”