We accept the love, we think we deserve.
~ Stephen Chbosky
“Yes, Scarlet.” Roman’s eyes softened as his arms wrapped around my waist, once again. “I don’t care if you love me or not, but trust me, I am hopelessly in love with you.”
What just happened to my heart?
“I-i.. Well, why?” What a stupid question is that?!
“Scar, it’s okay if you don’t.. I mean, I am not..” He stammered, as his hands left my waist. Anyone could notice that hurt expression on his face and I immediately blamed myself for it. Seriously, Scarlet? This man, is everything that you would ever need in your whole life and god knows you secretly love him.
YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.
“No, I just.. I just don’t know why you would love me?” I asked, because lets face it, I am an orphan who has killed more people than I can count and I will kill more soon. Hell, I am going to be on the worst mission of my life which could be the most stupid thing anyone has ever done, starting tomorrow morning once he’s out.
“Scarlet. I know what you’re thinking. You think I cannot love you because you’re broken from the inside and because you have killed before and you will kill more people soon.” Wow, he actually knows me that well. “But why can’t you see that we are so similar. I have killed too, I will kill more people too because we are in this together.” Oh, how wrong you are there.. “I belong to a family of gangsters too, Scarlet. We are from the same gang and have generations of bad blood behind us. You and I aren’t that different.” He tried to argue but I couldn’t understand him.
Why love someone you don’t even deserve?
“I don’t deserve you, Rome.” I whispered, looking down to our intervened hands and feeling guilty of what I was making him feel on his birthday.
“Scarlet.” I heard him chuckle loudly while he mumbled my name. I looked up, only to find him stifling a laugh from me. “Oh Scarlet, how could you ever think such a thing?”
“Why are you laughing at me?” I asked, a little confused.
“Because you don’t get it, Scar.” He told me, his chuckle long replaced by a sigh as he caught my hand and made me sit on the couch next to the bed.
“Get to the point, Rome..” I trailed.
“The point, my love is..” It is so weird when he calls me his love because trust me, that treacherous heart of mine escapes to my throat. “When I didn’t know about you much, I loved you. But when I did get to know you over these three years, I only fell in love with you more.” Please, just please get me an ECG machine because I think my heart is going to ache from all that beating. What the hell is this man doing to me? “As much cheesy as that sounds, Scarlet. Your scars are the ones which make you this beautiful. I don’t want to tell you this, but if Ryder likes you, I think it’s because he saw how strong you were in all these years. Something, I fell in love with too. I feel I need to protect you all the time, but I know you enough to let you go and fight for yourself because, that’s what you do. And that is exactly what you’re good at.” He told me, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug as I placed my head on his shoulders, comprehending the words he had just uttered.
“I.. Why do you do this to me?” I muttered as he chuckled against me. “I love you, Rome.” I whispered, carefully, not trusting my mind a bit at the moment because the heart was speaking for itself.
“W-what?” I guess it was his chance to stammer now.
“I do, Rome. I can’t disagree to it, not anymore.” I said, shaking my head as my mind finally gave up on the debate. We both knew how much I had denied it in my mind, again and again but my heart was stubborn as always. “And with the most difficult task in our hands, I don’t want any regrets.” I whispered, repeating what he had said while proposing to me to be his girlfriend.
He didn’t realize that he would survive this, but I, most probably won’t. I am going to take the most stupidest risk anyone has ever taken, but I didn’t want to die with regrets and unsaid feelings. If I did, I had to tell him because our time together was running into a black hole. Roman’s eyes immediately twinkled and there I sat, seeing the most content and glowing smirk spread across his face as a tear escaped both our eyes. Emotions floated around the corner before we couldn’t leave each other’s gaze for a second. As he closed the distance between us, I half expected him to kiss me; but instead, I got wrapped in the most precious hug I had ever received from anyone. Right now, it was as if our lives depended on each other and that hug.
“Thank you.” He whispered, closing his eyes. “Thank you, thank you so freaking much.” He kept on mumbling, not leaving the embrace. “You have no idea what this means to me, Scar. Literally no idea-”
“I am not saying this to make you happy, Rome. I am saying this because I can’t not say it anymore.” I clarified as he smiled warmly at me, bringing me closer so that I sat in his lap, my head presses against his chest as I heard his heart beat like a helicopter.
“I love you, Winters.”
“As I love you, Jonathan.”
A simple dress is what I was searching for, but the most expensive dresses is what were laid out for me by Rihanna.
“I am going to make this perfect.” She kept on mumbling as I threw a bottle for her and handed her her medicines, as she sat like a boss in my closet, eyeing the dresses carefully.
“I hope you know that we are going somewhere very normal?” I reminded her.
“Uh.. No. What do you mean by normal?” She asked me, confused as I sighed.
“Rihanna, I told you.” I whined. “I am driving him to the first restaurant we ever went to in Miami. It was our first hug and he kissed me on my cheeks and-”
“Basically you guys got too close that day and he loves that diner thing, right?” She completed the sentence for me, closing my wardrobe. “I know the perfect dress for you, girl.” She grinned, throwing me put of the room for a minute and then called me back.
That is how you should be with a pregnant, hormonal woman. Don’t react.
“Here! I have the perfect outfit for a simple afternoon diner day!” I eyed the clothes carefully, as a grin spread on my face. “Girl. How is it?!” She whined exception an excitement filled reply, holding my arms.
“Aren’t you a little genius?!” I squealed, letting her know that I loved it.
“Yea?! I know right?!” She squealed in response, clapping her hands.
“You should really open a blog, you know that?” I suggested, excited about the outfit a little too much, almost as if she had learnt what I liked and what I had needed.
The outfit screams Scarlet.
A simple blue jeans, and a striped crop top along with my boots and leather jacket is exactly what I had planned, and that is exactly what she got for me. Such a genius, I swear.
I swiftly wore the clothes, asking Rihanna to curl my hair and tie them up along with a little make-up.
“GO, leave!” She squealed as Roman knocked on my door.
“Ready, love?” He asked as I took his casual appearance in.
He wore a pair of khakis, along with a blue and white stripped t-shirt, similar to my crop top and a pair of blue vans, matching his t-shirt, making me blame Rihanna for these matching pairs.
“There is the Scarlet I know.” He chuckled as we went down, posting to my laid back clothes.
“Wait right here.” I stopped him, running to Mason’s office for a second and getting the black cloth to cover his eyes.
“Are you for real?” He whined, as I shrugged in denial.
“Let’s go now, please.” I yelled, pulling him by his arms and stuffed him in the shotgun of my car as I sat in my driver seat. We had driven to Miami in Ryder’s and Stephen’s car but Roman had driven his car most of the time, basically because as soon as he sat in Stephen’s, we got a copy of the keys made.
“Are you sure you’re not trying to kill me, baby?” He asked, acting scared.
“Oh wow.” I snorted. “I trusted you to drive me to a forest on our first day and you can’t trust me after three years? Do I not love you enough?” I gasped, as I tied the velvet cloth to him tightly, making sure he didn’t come to know anything.
“Scarlet, that. That is the only reason I am trusting you right now.” He pointed, settling in his seat comfortably.
“Then continue to do that and let me drive you.” I said, and the drive started with Roman’s breathing the only thing I could hear beside me, as I refused to switch any music on, because right now, his breathing gave my heart a little rest. His fingers stumbled on my thigh as they wrapped around the fingers of my free hand while I drove, taking the drive at my own speed, enjoying the peace we were getting from it. For once, I wanted to forget that I would probably not see him after tomorrow morning. For once, I wanted to enjoy this afternoon and night with him and cherish it because this was the only day I would hold on to. A part of my called me a bitch for not thinking about him when I went to follow Ryder tomorrow and called me stupid for not even telling him. But I knew if he didn’t know, it would be easier for us. This day, is the only day we would both hold on to. But also, because of this day, I would want to fight Ryder and come back to Roman safely.
“We are here.” I chirped, opening my car door in front of the wood and rock themed diner by the ocean, twenty minutes away from our house.
In the far distance, I could see Mason’s men in a black SUV, providing us protection as I helped Roman with the cloth on his eyes.
“Why was this so expected?” He gasped, holding my hands immediately. “Scar, oh Scar.” He mumbled.
“This was expected?” I pouted.
“No, I mean. A part of me really believed that we were coming here..” He trailed. “Thank you so much, baby.” He grinned, bending down to kiss me on my cheeks, but hey, why cheeks when you have those lips waiting for you? I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, getting on my tip toes to press my lips to his smooth and gently framed ones as his minty taste pressed into my tongue. Every kiss was more special than the last one, leaving me begging for more. I didn’t want Roman, I needed him and like an idiot, I was risking this need of mine because of revenge.
But more than Roman, I owe this to my parents, Rihanna and Adrian.
Also, I had to do this for my unborn godchild.
“I love you.”
“As I love you.” I whispered, as his fingers untangled from mine and he took a step back.
“Oh my god, he’ll be back soon.” Mason snapped, walking past us. “GO away, Scar. Let me take his whipped ass out of here.” He commented as Roman turned his back to me and followed him without a word.
He turned back for a second, before sitting inside the car which would take them to the airport to our company’s personal aircraft. “Take care.” He yelled, before he sat inside and I mumbled the same thing back.
A few seconds later, my boyfriend pulled out of our driveway, as I stood there on the early morning grass, the dew, numbing my feet as I continued to look at the car which turned from the street and disappeared. “I’ll miss you so much.” I whispered before turning back.
“Ready?” Stephen stood right behind me, his hands in his grey sweatpants.
“Are we doing the right thing Stephen?” I asked him, sitting on the bench after he joined me.
“You could be doing the wrong thing right now.” Chris added, sitting on the other side beside me and answering before his brother could. “But if that’s what you truly believe, then don’t go with this.”
“He’s right.” Stephen nodded. “If you don’t believe yourself, taking a risk this big is a stupidity.” I knew he was right, right there but I refused to believe that I wasn’t not going to do this.
“If you’re ready to do this, then let me tell you that, we will do our part the best way we can do it. You have to do yours well. Our assistance is always there for you, Scar and we will do our work the best way we can.” He explained, as I slowly nodded at him.
“Are you sure he’ll be meeting them in an hour?” I asked them, one final time.
“We are sure. His personal number texted the time to that exact location and the FBI confirmed it for us. It’s now or never, Scar.” Stephen added, confirming that I was doing this. “We didn’t train you to back out. If there’s anyone who can make their way out of this, trust me, it’s you and that crazy mind of yours.” He commented with a light laugh which was joined by my own. I, in fact was crazy enough to do this but that’s what I am known for all around our house in Port Angeles with all the men. I am known for the craziest shit a girl can ever commit to.
“I’ll go and get ready. Get me the spare keys.” I told them, frantically getting up to slip into my slippers again.
“Already ready.” They nodded as I left the garden, running to my room. As I entered, the only picture I looked at before going to change was Roman and I’s from two years ago, in that same diner where we asked a man to click it for us as we finished sipping our milkshakes and had this huge mustache on our face.
That scene was repeated last afternoon and the picture was now on my phone. It reminded me, again and again that I needed to get out of this stupid ass mission and kill this enemy living in my own house. But before that, I needed to follow him and meet the man he was meeting. I knew he was going to Jason’s house and by now, I knew every corner of that house by heart, thanks to the floor plans they never hid.
I strapped the black jacket suit on my body, taking a deep breath and calmed my heart beat for a second.
Time to hide into Ryder’s car and follow him to the house of my parent’s murderer.