You all met at Rossi’s Pub. I had not spoken to Ambrose since he had told me that he was leaving for L.A. Seeing him standing at the bar with his dad laughing at a joke my dad had just told him. I feel so out of place tonight, I am normally involved in the conversation but tonight. Tonight, I am not here for fun and laughs, I am here to say goodbye to my best friend and the one guy I have been in love with for what feels like all my life.
His eyes are on me when I look up, I can’t help but smile at him as he comes around the counter and puts his arm around me. “So, Mishka, tell me, what are you thinking about.” I look at Ambrose and think to myself; IF YOU ONLY KNEW. Instead, I reply “Nothing really.” Shaking his head as he looks into my eyes. “Lies, you so far away, tell me Mish what is on your mind.” He holds my hand entwining our fingers. I take my hand out from his and standing up I say. “I need some air.” Turning from him I walk out of the pub.
I stand against the wall arguing with myself. “Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me. Why can’t I just tell him?” Looking through the window at the three most important men in my life, now, one is leaving. I feel my heart being torn apart as I go back inside. Just as I start to say goodbye I hear Uncle Rossi “It is still early Mishka don’t go yet have another drink.” I could never refuse Uncle Rossi. He is my favorite uncle even though he is not blood. I smile at him and sit back down next to my dad. “Sure, Uncle Rossi.” Rossi pours the vodka into the glass and takes hold of my hand when he puts the glass down, and says,” I know princess, but it is never too late to tell him how you feel.” You look up at Rossi tears heavy in your eyes and you toss the shot of vodka back. You wait till Ambrose leaves answering his phone, and you take the opportunity to leave while he is gone hugging Rossi over the counter and then your dad saying good night. Grabbing your bag your head towards the door, just as you open the door you hear his voice” Are you actually going to leave without saying goodbye to me Mish.” Finding it hard to breathe as I try to hold back my tears. I do not look at him instead I look straight out the door “Yes. Actually.” I walk out not looking back, picking up the pace needing to get to my car as quickly as possible before the waterworks start.
Just as I get to my car, Ambrose’s hand is on my shoulder. The way my name came out of his mouth sadness in the tone. “Mish.” Turning I look straight into his piercing brown eyes that shift slowly down to my lips watching me bite my bottom lip. Bending down his lips touches mine. His tongue is soft and warm parting my lips then he kisses me exploring every part of my mouth and I melt in his embrace. He holds me around my waist his hand that was on my shoulder is now in the nap of my neck pulling me deeper into his intoxicating kiss. Pulling away slowly from our kiss he looks at me and says. “Take care of yourself Mish promise me you will call.” I look at him my heart aching to tell him not to go and that I love him, but I can’t. Trying hard to hold back the tears I don't say a word, I just get in the car close the door and start the engine without even a glance toward him as the pain is too hard. The tears start to fall down my face as I pull out of the parking looking back in the review mirror. I see Ambrose standing in the now-empty parking space watching me drive away.
Ambrose watches Mishka drive off a tear rolls down his cheek as he says out loud. “I should have told her that I love her but instead I kiss her and tell her to look after herself. F.U.C.K. I’m such an idiot.”