I often find myself wondering how far a person is willing to go for their beliefs, how much they are willing to endure to get what they want. What they are willing to sacrifice.
Time and time again, the mistakes we make we repeat. Or the lessons we thought we learned, we realize we haven’t really.
Like going out drinking with friends, getting blackout drunk and waking up in a stranger’s bed promising yourself never to drink that much again. Yet, you wake up once again staring at a face you don’t recognize. A soul you don’t know.
I find myself in these situations daily. Though, I can’t say I regret the decisions I make very often.
Yes, it sucks waking up in a dirty alley behind a bar because you don’t have enough cash to stay in a motel. It sucks worse when you can’t hold a job long enough to be able to eat food everyday. It really fucking sucks when you have to do the walk of shame with nowhere to really go home to.
Clothes are recycled. Items are traded. Food is stolen. You turn to a life of crime just to be able to breathe.
Again, I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made.
Not when I can live a life without rules, without any constraints. Live a life of my own. Watching sunrises, appreciating sunsets. Not living according to a nine to five, simply taking whatever the day brings.
Is it a lonely existence? Yeah, it can be. But I prefer it that way. Not having to rely on someone that will ultimately let you down at some point.
People suck, I’ve learnt that the hard way. People breaking promises, sucks worse. And people that hold power over you really fucking suck.