Falling For You

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Be My Holidate


What was that?!

This guy basically speaks like me. He uses the same phrases and everything even.

Wait... does he actually know me and he is tricking me? Shit no, I am the one who reached out to him, not the other way around so he definitely doesn't know me, but how?!!!

Kitten13: Thank you so much for helping me and sorry again for pouring my heart out like that. Usually I am not that dramatic actually.

Total lie, I am dramatic af, but I am not admitting it for coolness purposes.

LoneWolf: You were not dramatic, it is okay. I am here if you need to speak any time or pour your heart again.

Wait? That's it?! I don't want the conversation to end. Come back here you mysterious wolf who talks the exact same way I do.

Kitten13: Well, now your turn. Share a dark secret of yours so I would feel less awkward.

LoneWolf: You don't have to feel awkward. I am actually equally awkward.

Kitten13: Probably not as miserable as me.

LoneWolf: Well, I called off my wedding two months before it happened.

Kitten13: Oh... yeah you definitely win the miserable contest. Tell me all about it!

And there it was, the beginning of something beautiful or is it?

It turned out we shared the same views about basically everything. Somehow I didn't feel like this conversation was online, I felt like his soul and mine flew in another dimension, sharing a top roof of a house where we gazed at the stars and opened up like we never did before.

"I am never getting married." He said clearly which made me grin because I said the same thing to myself. "Yet everyone seem to disagree, pushing me towards it. They think it is temporary and I am only heartbroken now, but I really decided that I don't want to get married ever."

"Well, what I want in a relationship is only in fairytales so I know for a fact I am never getting married either." I told him nodding. I am not even surprised that we agree on this. The guy is basically my twin so far.

"No way, all girls want to get married." He said not believing a single word I said.

"I am not lying, I do. I want to get married, but the way I want it is not realistic so this is why it will never happen." I said and I could imagine him narrowing his eyes at me as if he doesn't buy it. "Well, I have never been in a relationship before. I am saving myself for only one person. I don't want to waste my feelings on the wrong guy." I added.

"Is that so?" He said with a tone that told me he didn't exactly believe me.

"Look, I am obsessed with making everything special. First time to say I love you, first time to hold someone's hand, first date, first everything and it should be only done once in a lifetime. Yet, every guy who gets close me, I just panic and freak out then I shut the whole thing down." I said sighing. This is exactly why I will die alone because I can never open my heart up. "I am just scared of ruining this for myself, I want to do it right."

"This is really beautiful...'' He said and I smiled. "Are you sure you never ever dated or had a crush on someone?" He asked me one more time just to be sure.

"Well, not exactly. I mean, you know about my depression and all these crazy stuff in my head. One time, a close friend of mine died in a car accident after graduation and this just terrified me thinking I am out of time and I will die alone. This is why I convinced myself I have a crush on my brother's best friend, but once the grief was over, so did the crush I had. It wasn't real, it was just an illusion. I never acted upon it or anything, just in my head." I explained to him.

I think this guy had something magical about him that made me want to just tell him everything there is to know about me which is why I told him about my depression, anxiety, self-harm issues and suicidal thoughts. I opened up about my take on life, relationships and work.

We had been speaking for 24 hours and we didn't even notice, we didn't want to stop.

"I don't know if you noticed, but it had been 24 hours actually and we haven't stopped talking." I told him surprised.

"Really? Time indeed fly fast. I actually have to meet my friends now, they will probably try to hook me up with some girl because they want me to get out there and date again." He said rolling his eyes dramatically. Apparently he can be dramatic as well. "But make sure to keep me updated about your work and how you dealt with it."

"Yeah, absolutely." I smiled. "And hey, with your friends' situation, if you are stuck, you can always claim to have a girlfriend and I can play her. If they push it, just show them my Instagram and tell them here is her profile if you don't believe me." I said before sending him the link to my Instagram profile. Yes it was a slick move and extremely smooth to show him how I look like.

"Is that so?" He asked as he chuckled and shook his head. I wonder if he thought I looked cute, I really hope that he thinks I look cute.

Woah there little tiger, why do you want him to find you cute?! You don't do that. You don't try to get close to no guy like that. Snap out of it. Hit the brakes now!

"There is this movie called Holidate where they pretend to be each other's dates so people would get off their backs and leave them alone, so let me be your Holidate." I winked to him. Yes, this is exactly how you hit the brakes and slow down.

"This sound like a good idea, I can be your Holidate as well."

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