Here are the words that will immediately send me into panic mood. Time to let my anxious ass do its work. He is probably hallucinating from lack of sleep, he did say that he barely got any sleep yesterday because he was worried about me.
"What do you mean marry me? We only spoke for one day. You haven't even met me in real life. Pictures don't exactly capture the real look. What if you thought I was ugly? What if I wasn't your type? I am really emotional and sensitive and I cry a lot. I get breakdowns and I am a mess." I blurted out trying to convince him to change his mind.
"I know, but you cannot deny what is happening here. Have you ever had this connection with anyone in your life?" He asked me. Okay, he got me there. "I have never met a girl like you and I don't care how you look like. I just want to be with you. What about you? How do you feel?" He asked me and I knew he was nervous, but he already knew my answer.
"I cannot say anything right now... you know I am saving it, but I am interested into seeing where this is taking us." I said, trying to ignore the beating of my heart and the ringing in my ears.
"Okay, so here is the plan. We will continue talking as we are, no crossing the lines or anything and when we feel this is the right thing, I will speak to your dad and ask for his blessing to our marriage." He placed his plan, but he forgot that I am an overthinking Monica (F.R.I.E.N.D.S)
"No that's a shitty plan, here is a better one. We will continue talking as we are, no crossing the lines or anything and when we feel this is the right thing, we will meet once in person and THEN you get to speak to my dad to ask for his blessings." I told him the best plan there is on the planet because of course I put it myself.
"Are you sure about this? You would give me your first date?" He asked me and even through the screen, I can feel the hopefulness in his eyes and tone.
"Hell no, it will be with our sisters. We won't be alone. This way I will still save my first date in case you saw me and thought hell no she is not my type and she is too skinny." I stated.
"Why are you so confident that I won't like you in person? As far as I am concerned, it could be the other way around." He said and I rolled my eyes. Was this guy for real?!
"I don't care how you look like, your soul is what captured me not your face." I pointed out to him. I didn't care if this guy was a fat bold old man, I will still think he is the best ever because his personality just was over the top.
"So what makes you think I don't feel the same way?" He asked me. Well, because all men care about looks and I am an insecure bag of potatoes who is extremely tiny for my age that makes me seem like I am 12 so I don't know if little girls look is a look that would interest you.
"I don't know, just saying." I said. I guess I was having a double standards here. I gave myself the right to like him however shape and size he was, yet I didn't believe he would feel the same way. Try living my life where I was abandoned and hurt by every single person in my life who didn't think I was good enough and repeat that again to see if I have the right to feel this way or not?
LoneWolf: You talk big game for a tiny person
Kitten13: I am NOT a tiny person, I am 5' 5, this is average height for girls my age
LoneWolf: I'm 6' 2, so you are definitely a tiny person to me and also you are not average, you are never average, you are perfect
Oh here he goes with these lines that makes me swoon.
Kitten13: That's not even a huge difference, it is like you are taller by a ruler
LoneWolf: A what?!
Kitten13: The height difference between me and you, it is the same size of a 30 cm ruler
This guy definitely sucks at Math... and that right there is projection because the one who actually suck is me.
LoneWolf: Sorry, was busy laughing. Your measurements tools are just amazing
Kitten13: Thank you, I am actually really smart
That may or may not be a lie.
LoneWolf: Seriously though, if we will do this, then I want to do it right. I want to help you with every aspect of your life. I want to make you better. Let me help you with everything, your dreams, your career and even your mental health
I think this is the part where my heart swooned once again. Never have I ever had a guy so invested into fixing and helping me. I was always the one trying to help and fix everyone around me, but I was always on my own.
Kitten13: I like the sound of that... I want to help you as well and make your life better. Yet I want to give you a warning.
LoneWolf: What's wrong?
Kitten13: You know how much I suffered in my life. If you feel like you are not into this and you will give up in the future, just tell me now and I am fine with just enjoying the friendship we have. My mental health will not handle a heartbreak. I literally will not survive this if it doesn't work..
LoneWolf: I promise I will never break your heart. I am never giving up on you after I finally found you