Thinking back of the way he reacted and how he left without saying goodbye or bothered as I was the one who was supposed to drop him off—it’s starting to tense me, more and more.
″Kenna,″ I turn around to see Lucas walking towards me with a smile plastered on his face; both of his green eyes are piercing deeply into mine without showing any signs of looking away in the nearest future. ″How you’ve been?″
My lips curve up into a smile, ″Fine. How about you? Still getting high demands?″ I ask, receiving a light chuckle from him as he shoves his hand into his coat’s pocket.
″Can’t run away from that,″ He grins, continuing to look at me as his mind wanders off to think. ″Is it too late to ask you out for lunch?″ His voice almost inaudible as the hallway is being filled with busy doctors and nurses walking around, tending to their patients.
″I just ate,″ I answer with a small smile on my face; it’s not that I wouldn’t want to have lunch with Lucas but something as simple as having lunch with him can lead into more—people might know that I’m married and he’s aware of that but I fear being the one who might trip and fall.
″Ah . . . I really need to work on my timing, don’t I?″ He asks, slightly squinting his eyes as we both break out into a laugh.
I shove both of my hands into my pockets before clearing my throat, ″Did you come to my department just to ask me out for lunch?″ My question came out a little bit more obvious than intended as he tries to hide away his embarrassment by smiling down at his feet.
″Isn’t it obvious?″ He raises an eyebrow, ″Should’ve asked you sooner—probably a year or two sooner, maybe then . . . I’d consider it the perfect timing.″ He says, leaving me to understand the words he said, seeing as it had a different meaning.
I chuckle, ″You need to be twenty years sooner.″
His eyes widen before laughing, revealing his pearly whites. ″Yikes . . . I guess my time was long up, huh? Too bad,″ He continues to smile, leaving me to mesmerise just how his green eyes matches well with someone as attractive as him.
We both stare at one another, not uttering a single word afterwards as I’m deeply sinking in my own thoughts—wondering if things could really turn out to be different if I ever made different choices. What if mum chosen a different kindergarten? What if I didn’t pursue to become a doctor? Those kind of questions will forever remain unanswered.
″I’ll see you around, Lucas.″ I say as I smile before starting to walk away.
″Kenna!″ Lucas calls out my name, causing me to turn and see him standing in the middle of the hallway near the information counter where nurses have already looked up at him, ″My offer still stands . . . you know where to find me,″ He says with a grin, making me laugh before shaking my head and walking down the hallway.
I walk straight towards Albert’s room, seeing him staring out the window which causes me to breathe out, knowing his thoughts are mostly filled to be about his late wife.
Slowly, I begin to knock onto the door as he turns to look at me—slight surprised to see my presence, ″Knock knock, Grumpy Pants. How are you today?″ I ask, a wide smile begins to appear on my face, trying to hide away the sadness overcoming me.
″Better now that you’re here,″ He replies.
We both laugh, ″Here are your prescriptions for today . . . you know the rules, Albert.″ I say and he sighs, nodding his head but doesn’t make any movement or glance to look at the pills.
″Deep in thoughts?″ I ask, trying to break the silence between us—it’s always like this with him. We always have a session of pouring different kind of things daily, just to make sure that he’s able to let someone know how he feels while I listen, considering him as an old friend. ″I heard about what happened when I was gone, do you want to talk about that?″
″The nightmares came again that night. It was unintentional, Kenna—you know me, don’t you?″ Hint of regret glisters in his eyes as I nod, taking a seat beside him; wanting to hear everything that he has to tell me, showing him that he has all the support that he needs from me.
″Maybe . . . it’s time for you to tell me about your nightmares. That way, I can probably help you.″ My eyebrows furrow as he shakes his head, letting me let out a sigh of disappointment.
″And throw me to the psychiatric ward? Just because I can’t get over the thoughts of her?″ The look on his face confuses me, deep down, I know that he’s hiding something because he might not trust me much and I truly understand.
″What makes you think I’d do that? I would never do that to you, Albert—you have to trust me. I’m always going to be there for you, no matter how stupid or insane it is to make you stay. I’m your doctor and I have certain responsibilities and one of them is to understand you,″ I begin to stand up, walking towards the other side to make sure that I get a glimpse of his features as he turns away.
We stay quiet for a little while as I keep my eyes glued to him, not looking away. The sunlight pouring in from the window has somehow attracted his attention as his features soften, looking down at the handkerchief in his hand, holding it tightly; as if holding onto a certain memory.
″She was there—in my dreams, she was standing there with this wrapped around her neck. The same beautiful eyes, staring back at me as she smiled . . . the same smile that I had fallen for. Everything about her was clear to me but I was still and I couldn’t move,″ He starts to speak, making me listen—trying to imagine by how he had told me, her beautiful pair of eyes and smile, something he would always mention when he tells me stories about her.
″I was frozen, static while she disappeared. She disappeared into the light and I couldn’t do anything to make her stay,″ He adds, his eyes are filled with tears that had managed to escape as he tries to control his breaths.
His eyes meet mine, ″I am a disappointment to her. When she passed, everything around me was falling apart . . . my son, our son, I’ve never had the chance to see him again. I don’t even know where he is—she’d be disappointed in me for letting her down, for making our family break,″ Pain is clear in his voice as he speaks while I am left standing at the same spot, not knowing what to do or how to react.
In front of me is a man who had fallen in love with the woman he gazed upon, the same woman he had married when there were obstacles they had to face but they did. Now, all he can do is blame himself for her death and the disappearance of their son, something far from what I can help.
″It’s not your fault. How can you say that to yourself? It was a dream, Albert . . . it was a bad dream and it was only making you think. She won’t hate or be disappointed in you for something you can’t control. You loved her . . . deeply, truly and she would understand how that inflected pain.″ I reply, wanting to comfort him, at least a little bit.
″I need rest. Can you come see me tomorrow?″ He asks with a small smile plastered on his face while I nod, assuring him.
My eyes fixed onto the ground in front of me as I am deeply buried in my own thoughts, holding the bread in my hands without having intentions to take a bite of it. Sitting alone on the bench at the hospital’s park seems to be a great way to ease my tension but all I can feel is more and more stress radiating.
I lean back before looking up at the sky, seeing it blue and bright, hurting my eyes if I bother to stare any longer—making me drop my head in between my hands, closing my eyes.
″Is it still bothering you?″ I tense as I hear a familiar voice in front of me which causes me to look up, seeing an attractive figure looking back at me; his brown eyes lightening due to the sunlight.
The way his hair is messily being blown by the wind and how his eyes are never looking away from mine leaves me in oblivion, ″You’re—you’re here.″ I mutter under my breath.
Aidan takes a seat beside me, ″Can I be completely honest with you, Kenna?″ He asks.
My eyes wander away from his, scared of something he might say; something that might impact me in ways I can never explain but I brace myself for the worst as I nod, turning back to look at him, seeing him licking his lower lip, hesitating on whether it’s best to say.
″I’m feeling something,″ He starts, gazing onto anything but me.
″Are you sick?″ I ask, earning myself a smile from him as he looks down at his pair of shoes while I think back of the words I said, was it enough to humour him as how it did? Then again, all I can sense in my voice was a slight concern.
″Perhaps. I’m not so sure myself,″ He replies as he lets out a deep sigh. ″There’s this tingling, funny, feeling inside of me when I look at you. Something not easy to be explained but I’m aware of it, just not fully sure of how I feel towards it. I have to admit that I was jealous with Sam . . . I hated how you smiled when you talked to him even though I know that your smile is always that beautiful.″
Our eyes are glued to one another, letting me drown in the beautiful orbs of brownness, even though there’s a part of me is currently begging me to look away but there’s just something different about his current gaze.
″What did I do?″ My voice almost sounded like a whisper but clear enough in his ears.
″Nothing—absolutely nothing. I just want you to know that I care about you as my friend, you tend to make mistakes and I’m looking out for you. One day when this contract ends, you’re free to be with whoever you want and I want to make sure that you’ll be with the right one.″ He replies before smiling at me, patting onto my back and slowly rubbing it in soothing circles.
″And I was jealous because I don’t want you to replace me with someone else. I’ve been working hard to keep this position, you can’t throw me away.″ The ends of his lips curve into a grin as he chuckles, leaving me to smile back at him.
We both just stare at an old couple in front of us without uttering a single word, letting the moment pass. There’s just something about old couples that won’t stop to impress me—knowing that they have been through thick and thin for so long, it has always managed to make me smile with hope.
″I love you,″ I blink a few times before turning to look at Aidan, seeing him staring back at me; for some unknown reason . . . it feels as if he has been staring at me all along.
Just like that, I begin to grab his hand as I entwine our fingers together as a smile creeps up on my face, ″I love you, too. You’re my one and only best friend—apart from Dimitri and no one can replace you,″ I chuckle at the end while he smiles, gripping harder onto my hand.
″Right . . . you’re my one and only best friend, too.″ He mutters under his breath.
″I want to give you something,″ I turn to look at him again, seeing him taking something from beside him, something I didn’t notice before as he places it on my lap—causing my eyes to widen. ″You needed a new phone anyway and I just happen to get you one.″ He adds.
I stare at a box of the newest iPhone on my lap.
″Aidan—″ He cuts me off, immediately.
″—it was laying around in one of my drawers at my office. I thought it’d be best if I give it to you than just letting it remain unused,″ He says. ″One of my clients gave it to me when they got the project, uh, actually they gave it to all of the boards with other Apple technologies, too.″ He adds without meeting my eyes.
I raise an eyebrow, ″They happen to give you one in rose gold?″
″They ran out of stock,″ He clears his throat before grinning at me. ″Open it. I want to see if it suits you,″ His shoulder bumps against mine as he assures me to open it which causes me to nod and laugh, slowly unwrapping the box.
My fingers run across the new phone before smiling to myself, liking how glossy the screen appears compare to my old—slightly cracked here and there from lack of caring. People are always right when they say about getting a new phone, we take care of it like a newborn baby but as soon as we get used to it, we simply don’t care.
At first, we’d be placing it nicely on tables during dinner but as time passes, we’d simply throw it on our couches just as we grab some food.
I grab the phone in my hand before posing it near my face, ″What do you think? Does it screams ‘Kenna’ with the colour?″ I ask and he smiles, something glistering in his eyes but only for a short couple of seconds before it disappears.
″Glad you like it,″ He says.
″Thank you, Aidan. You’re the best,″ I immediately wrap my arms around his body, slowly not wanting to hurt his left arm—which surprises him slightly as he slowly place his arm around my waist.
He laughs, ″You’re welcome, b—Kenna.″ He clears his throat at the end while I close my eyes, liking how his warmth is soothingly calming as it mixes with my own body temperature.
″Report to the ER immediately!″ Someone shouts as he starts to run down the hall while others are making their ways, leaving me to stare at my new phone in awe—surprised by the sudden shout.
″What—where’s everyone going?″ I ask, slightly confused.
″It’s all over the news, now. Two buses collided in an accident and it involved a sedan, they say that he is the CEO of—″ Just as he’s about to finish talking, one of the other nurses has already called out for his name which causes him to give me an apologetic look before running down the hallway while I stand uncomfortably.
″Dr. Anne, you’re needed in the ER.″ I hear one of the nurses say as I nod, quickly following after her with a particular someone in my mind but I try my best to ease my mind; there’s a lot of CEOs in the city and I’m sure of it.
My eyes widen at the amount of injured patients groaning in pain as they’re bleeding with severe injuries, causing me to look around; trying to calm myself down.
I turn towards the television, ″While others are severely injured from the accident, up to ten people are dead from the impact including CEO—″ Someone screams in pain, causing me to turn and look at her, seeing the bed being pooled with her own blood as she groans in pain, unable to bear with it any longer.
My heart starts to beat utterly fast as I run towards the nearest patient, checking his pulse before checking his injuries, seeing that he’s needed in the operation room as soon as possible or there’s less chance of him coming out alive.
″What’s your name?″ I ask, trying to stop his stomach from bleeding due to a deep cut, seeing that it might’ve impacted his intestines.
He clenches his jaw in pain, ″Marcus.″ His voice almost inaudible as his body starts to shake, the pain almost unbearable for him as I try my best to make sure that he’s not losing too much blood.
″Okay . . . Marcus, can you hear me? Nod your head if you hear me,″ I look straight into his eyes as they search for mine.
Marcus nods twice and I continue to speak, ″You will be alright. All you have to do is stay with me and breathe, can you do that, Marcus? Can you do that for me?″ I ask him, my voice loud and clear as his eyes begin to get a little bit droopy, ″Come on, you have to stay with me.″ I say.
He groans in pain as he tries to breathe, ″I—I’m here. Doc, you have got to help me . . . the pain—it’s too much,″ He grabs onto my hand as he pleads for help which causes me to place my hand on his, gripping it to give him hope.
I immediately call for help, ″Carl! Carl! I need your help,″ Both of his eyes meet mine as he runs towards me, looking down at the dying patient in front of me before nodding his head, knowing what to do. ″He needs to get into the operation room, as soon as possible. Get Dr. William, now.″
Carl and I run as we push the bed down the hallway, calling out other available nurses to help. I return back to help the other patients, making me drag myself towards a young woman who seems to be around her twenties as she shakes uncontrollably, a doctor trying to tend her.
″There’s damage in her nervous system. Probably her spinal cord,″ I mutter beside him as he looks up at me, worried. ″We need to hurry or she’s not going to make it. Her wounds are also very severe. You’re capable of helping, aren’t you?″ I ask, seeing him looking at me, panicking; not knowing what to say.
″Dr. Anne, she needs immediate attention. The only way for her to survive is through operation,″ He says before looking down at the patient. ″I’m not professional enough to undergo surgery with you . . . I—I don’t want to mess up.″
I look at the patient, ″I just need your help. Can you do that?″ My eyes wander back to the doctor who seems to be a couple of years younger than me as he nods, his hands filled with blood when he was trying to help the patient.
″We better hurry,″ I gesture.
We both run towards the operation room as we ask for other nurses to help, passing other patients who are in need of medical attention while other doctors are tending to them. Some patients are severely wounded that it may have been impossible for them to recover while others have a high chance of recovering.
I past next to a familiar figure but has his body and face covered with a white sheet, causing me to stop before glancing at the figure one more time; eyebrows furrow at the sight of his wrist.
The familiar wrist watch that belonged to a particular someone.