I Wish I Loved you

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[Anastasia’s POV]

“Mom,” I said as tried to wiggle out of her hold on my body, “Mom,” I repeated with a sigh, “Ma, we really gotta go.”

“Why can’t you two just stay here?” she asked, without letting me go.

“I told you, I’ve got work. Besides, Tyler and I have been here for almost a week.” I’d spent the last few days getting pampered like a princess. At first it was endearing, like Caesar randomly bringing me water when I wanted some.

But then it got annoying. Someone was always...around, it was creepy. I was barely allowed to get off of the couch and when I was I had to be escorted everywhere. The person that treated me the weirdest though was Tyler, he made me feel like a porcelain doll.

She sighed and finally let me go, “My baby girl, all grown up and married and... pregnant. I really wish your dad was here right now, to see how much of a woman you’ve become.”

“Aw, see mom, you can’t just go around saying stuff like that to a pregnant woman.” I wiped away a tear that spilled out of my watering eyes.

“I’m sorry sweetie, I’m just so happy. My baby is having a baby.”

I gave my mom another hug and spoke into her shoulder, “I’m so scared.”

“I know, but Ty’ll take care of you and you can call me whenever you need any help or advice.”

I nodded and let go of her. “I really, really have to go now,” I said with a strained chuckled, “Tyler will kill me if we aren’t on the highway by ten.”

“Okay... and Ana?”


“Make sure to go easy on him.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Your husband. You may not remember but you love him and he loves you... you’re the love of his life the way your father was the love of mine.”

“I’m trying Mom. I really am.” I gave her one last hug after hearing the car horn being beeped multiple times. Once I finally managed to pull myself away from my mother and get into the car, I found him still programming the GPS. “You were rushing me and you weren’t even ready?”

“I was ready,” he replied defensively, “but you were taking too long and I got bored, I also somehow ended up reprogramming the system language to French.” I took the GPS away from him and began easily reading off the French words.

“So, I know English, Spanish, and French, but I never even thought to take up the native language of my husband’s mom...” I handed the device back to him as I finished turning it back to English, “Yeah that makes sense.”

He reprogrammed the GPS and took a look at me, “Every time you even go near a car I get freaked out, did you know that?” Tyler said suddenly.

I shook my head, “Why?”

“Because...” he grabbed my hand, “look I know you don’t like it when I say things like this but-”

“No,” I had to stop him, “just stop.”

“Will you please just let me say this, Anastasia? I used to tell you every day and I haven’t it in two months.” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I get scared because I love you and I worry about you, and you’re carrying future Meyers kids.” He placed his palm on my protruding stomach, “Wow, you are really showing.”

“Can we not talk about it?” I asked defensively, “Now I actually have to go maternity clothes shopping with Mac and the only reason I’m wearing this dress.”

“I like the dress.”

“I’m sure you do,” I replied with a smile as I crossed my arms over my chest.

He grinned and started the car, “What’s that supposed to mean?” I ignored him and he gave up before pushing his foot down on the pedal.

As soon as Tyler and I got to the apartment, I flopped on the bed. “I’m so tired,” I declared.

“I’m sure sitting in the passenger seat and sleeping is very exhausting, Anastasia.”

“You should be nice to me, I’m pregnant.”

“It’s not a disease or an excuse.” He took a seat on the mattress next to me and began stroking my hair. I started to object, but shut my mouth once I realized how relaxing it was. We just sat in silence and in no time, I had fallen fast asleep.

“No, he never said that!” I yelled as Tyler and I walked through the door of his apartment and I followed him to his room.

“Okay, Anastasia!” He yelled back, he’d let me yell at him for a long time before firing back, ” I never said that was what he said, I said that I think that’s what he meant. You have to respect my opinion.”

“I don’t have to do anything!”

“Are you so fucking serious right now, are you really mad?” I just glared at him, “Is our first fight honestly about something my idiot friend Connor said, or are you mad because you feel like I did something wrong?” After a few moments of quiet my arms fell to my sides and he sat down on his bed.

“You were flirting with the-”

“Oh, my god,” he cut me off with wide eyes, “I’m so tired of this conversation, it’s called being nice. I can’t go one second of the day or even be in the same building as another female without you accusing me of flirting or cheating. You really think I would’ve pursued you for so long if I wanted to flirt with every waitress and cashier that I laid eyes on?”

I shrugged, “I guess not.”

“You guess not,” he repeated quietly with a sigh, “Anastasia, come here.”

I didn’t really want to, but I obeyed his order anyways and went stand by him. Once I was next to him he looked up at me and unexpectedly pulled me down. With a shriek, I was seated in his lap. Without saying anything Tyler wrapped his arms around my torso and buried his head in my neck.

“I wish you would just trust me.” His words came out strained and muffled.

“I do.”

“No, you don’t, not yet. You will one day though.” He sat up and looked me in the eyes, “I know you’re mad but will you stay over.”

“I have to go, Ty, I have class and work an-”

He interrupted me again, “No, I’ll wake you up in the morning for class and I’ll make you breakfast and everything. I just really want to hold you tonight.”

“Well...” I thought it over for a second, “who could say no to being held?” I whispered. We striped and got into bed, we just laid there in silence until we both drifted into sleep.

I woke up in the dark with a blanket covering my body. I could hear Tyler in the kitchen, probably cooking dinner. I sat up and just went over my dream for a second.

This one was definitely a memory.

One I wanted to keep for myself. Was I really so paranoid that I thought he just blatantly flirted with other girls in my face? As I thought these things, Tyler poked his head through the door.

“Hey, Mama Bear, you hungry?”

“Always.” I hopped out of bed, ignoring the what he called me. Dinner with Ty had always consisted of small talk since the accident. Tonight though, I wanted to ask a few questions.

“What was I like... as a wife, and a girlfriend?”

He looked up, not expecting the question, “What do you mean?”

“I mean how was I, how’d I act?”

“Oh, um... as a wife, you were all I could’ve asked for. Trusting, loving, loyal, encouraging. You as a girlfriend, that’s a whole different story, at least with me.”

“How so?”

“You were still loving and loyal, but you were also paranoid. And kind of a bitch.”

That hurt, “Why’d you stay with me?”

“Because I understood. You have to keep a playboy on a leash, even a reformed one. That and I guess I loved you before I knew I loved you.” This made my heart flutter,

“Aww.” Just as he smiled at me with food in his mouth I realized something.

I had a crush on my husband.

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