I Wish I Loved you

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[Anastasia’s POV]

“Maybe we should give you two a little time to process the news,” the doctor said as he stood up.

“Mrs. Meyers, could you be dressed when I come back to escort you to radiation?” Dr. Strauss and the nurse left, leaving me with um... this guy, whose name I totally forgot.

“Soo...” I started.

“Don’t do that,” he stood up and grabbed my clothes before handing them to me.

“Do what?”

“That thing where you start to trail off when you feel uncomfortable in a situation.”


"And you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around me. I’m your husband; I helped you make that kid inside you.”

“I don’t even know your name,” was all I could say in response. How was I supposed to believe this guy about him being my husband, if I couldn’t even remember his name?

“Right, sorry, you didn’t know me ten years ago,” he held out his hand, “let’s start with the basics, I’m your husband, Tyler Meyers.”

“Tyler. Well Tyler, I’m pretty you already know who I am considering I’m carrying your kid. Now that we’re caught up I’m gonna need you to turn around.”


I held up the clothes that he handed me, “I need to get dressed, duh.”

"Duh,” he mocked me, then grabbed the two cellphones off my bedside table before sitting in a chair facing the wall.

“Two phones?” I used the crutches next to my bed to get up and make sure all of the room’s blinds were closed, before sitting back down and sliding off my hospital gown. I felt pain throb through every inch of my body.

Alright, body, I get it; the morphine is wearing off.

“No one’s yours,” he held up a black iPhone as I pulled a black t-shirt over my head, “whoa, Mac really knows how to blow up someone’s phone.”

“Doesn’t she?” I slipped into some lightwash jeans then started to put my feet in some white Converse until I saw the cast. Looks like I’m wearing one shoe, “Hey, you seem to know everything, if I was driving where was I going that was so important if I was wearing jeans?”

“Oh no, you were wearing a dress when they brought you in, I just got you a change of clothes from home.”

“Oh, thanks, I guess.”

“No problem.”

After I finished with my shoes and grabbed my crutches, Tyler and I found the nurse. She led us upstairs to Radiation and found another nurse to take care of us before leaving.

“Alright guys, let’s head in here,” she pointed to the room next to us, “I’m Ashley, by the way.”

We headed in and I walked over to the exam table, “Do I just sit here?”

“Yes, just lie down and pull your shirt off your torso.” I did as instructed while she cut, what I assumed was a sonogram machine, on. Once it was on she grabbed a tube of some type of ointment off the side of it, “Okay Anastasia, ready?” I nodded.

Ashley squirted the clear gel onto my stomach, thankfully it wasn’t as cold as I suspected. After she put that away she grabbed something that almost resembled a handheld checkout scanner, placing it on the gel she moved it around as a grainy black-and-white picture appeared on the machine’s screen.

“What are you looking for exactly?” Tyler asked from beside me.

“Well, blood doesn’t lie, you are infact pregnant, I’m just trying to see how far along you are, so I’m looking for the fetus and maybe a developed heartbeat.”

I looked over at Tyler, “Hey, do you want this kid?”

His eyebrows furrowed, “What?” I saw a twinge of anger, hurt, and confusion cloud his face for a second, “Oh, right, well, you don’t remember but we’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while.”

“I think our plan failed because, I’m the only one preggers.”

He chuckled, “I think we did pretty well if you ask me, we only really needed for you to get pregnant.”

“Well, why do I have to carry all the weight? Literally.” He laughed at my lousy attempt of a joke.

“I’ll repay you by waking up with the kid at three in the morning way more than you.” I knew he was joking but a weird feeling hit me.

Was I really married to this man? And if I was, why can’t I feel it? The butterflies I assume I got when we kissed, the fire that might have raced up my arm when we first held hands, the happiness I could’ve truly felt when I learned I was pregnant, it’s all gone.

“Look what I found,” Ashley sang. We looked over at her as she pointed to a tiny spot on the machine’s screen, “Mr. and Mrs. Meyers, that’s your baby. Right now it’s about the size of a sesame seed.”

Tyler and I both stared at the screen for a while. After a second I took a peek at him and doubled back when I saw his face.

“What the h-- are you really freaking crying right now?”

“What can I say? We really wanted this kid.”

“I get that, but--”

“No, I don’t think you do get it. Our mother’s have practically named our children already.”


“Oh, yes, your mom wants no less than six of those little monsters and my mom wants at least eight.”

“What did we agree to?” Ashley turned off the ultrasound machine and handed me a paper towel for my midsection. I wiped off the clear gel and sat up.

“We told them at least seven, but secretly agreed to five or less.”

“Smart move, go us.”

He nodded and laughed, our nurse came over with a clipboard and showed us out, “Alright, I believe Mr. Meyers already answered all of the questions on here so...” she looked up after shutting the door, “congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Tyler and I stated in unison.

“Let’s go, Ana.” He started walking and I followed after a moment of hesitation.

“Where are we going?”


“Home, where’s that?”

“You’ll see.”

[Tyler’s POV]

I finally called MacKenzie once Anastasia and I hailed a cab.

My phone was on on speaker when she answered, “Thank god you finally answered, I was stress eating, now where the hell are you two idiots?”

“Real sweet intro, Kenzie, we’re just leaving St. Johns.”

She let out a gasp, “Why? Do I have a new niece or nephew?”

“Well... yeah you do,” she squealed, “--but, that’s not why we were at the hospital.”

“Why were you there then?” I looked up at my wife and she nodded as if giving me permission to tell her best friend the news.

“Anastasia was in a car accident last night.”

“What?! And you just decided to call me now, what’s wrong with you? You had me stressing out with paranoia that was actually legit. And what’s up, you’re sounding real nonchalant for a wife that almost died.”

“Yes, but only because, oddly, it wasn’t that bad. Ana’s fine, physical damage is minimal.”

“Physical damage?”

“Oh yeah well, she lost the las ten years of her memory so she has no idea who I am,” I rushed it all out as fast as possible and as calm as I could.

“So what doesn’t she remember?”

“Me, the studio, probably Ryan, mostly me though because that’s most important.”

“And why’s that?”

“Why? Maybe because we’ve been married for six years, we live together, or- I don’t know- because she’s pregnant with my kid, but barely knows my name.”

“She definatly remembers me though, right?”

I growled in fustration, “Yes, now can you stop being self-centered for like a second?”

“Yes okay, sorry, let me talk to her.”

“Go ahead,” I handed her the phone.

“Hey, Mac,” she answered.

“Alright, I feel like crap so... I’m going to sleep,” Anastasia announced as soon as I opened the front door to our apartment.

“That’s fine, I’ll wake you up in like an hour to take all those meds Dr. Strauss perscribed.”

“What about dinner? I don’t remember much, but I definatly remember that I can’t cook.”

“Yep, that’s my thing, Mrs. Meyers stays out of the kitchen or at least two feet away from the stove.”

“Look, I get that we’re like... married or something- I can’t really wrap my head around it- but until I can, will you just put a hold on the whole ‘Mrs’ stuff?”

“S-sure.” I said and she smiled weakly.

“Which one of these is the bedroom?” I pointed to the correct door and she walked in the room.

That comment hurt me, a lot. Here I stood with a woman that I loved more than living itself, and she didn’t even feel an ounce of the same thing. What if she didn’t her memories back? What if decided she wanted a divorce? God! This is my fucking fault, I shouldn’t have let that woman drive, she’s a terrible driver. The one time I actually listen to her and she nearly dies. The thought of that happening to my wife angers me.

I had to fix this, I needed her to remember us. For our child’s sake. For her sake. And for me.

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