I Wish I Loved you

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[Anastasia's POV]

At first, I was driving - more like speeding - at least one hundred miles an hour. It was one of the most terrifying that I felt I could experience until suddenly the car came to a halt. I looked out the window, but all I could see was a blinding light getting closer and closer. I tried unbuckling my seat belt, the only rational thing I could think to do. I’d just gotten the restraint from around my person when the white light engulfed me and I heard a flat line.

I opened my eyes with a deep breath as if I’d just emerged from a body of water. Looking I around I identified the area as a bathroom. I stood up as a seemingly intoxicated male entered.

“Hey, Anastasia, right?” I nodded, “what’s wrong?”

I wiped my face and realized I was crying, “Oh, um, nothing I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” he touched my arm, “was it some guy?”

I squeezed my eyes shut to keep from bursting into tears and nodded, “Yeah.”

“I’m Alex by the way, you need someone to talk to or do you just need someone to help you get over him?” he asked suggestively.

Sensing some form of danger, I replied, “No. I’m fine on both counts,” I moved to the door, but he stood in my way.

“Oh, come on sweetie, you look like the kind of girl that needs physical love.”

My mouth hung open, “Are you calling me a slut?”

“Not directly but yes, I know you are, I can tell.”

“No, no I’m not, now if you would please--”

In an instant his lips were forcefully on mine. He pushed me up against the opposite wall and continued to kiss me as his clammy hand roamed my body. I tried with all my might to push him away, kick him where the sun should never shine, or at least scream; it was no use though, he had complete control by being about twice my weight and at least seven inches taller.

His breath was hot on my face and stunk horribly of vodka. I felt tears pouring down my face. ”Please!" I tried to yell. He ignored me and carried on with his violation. By this time his hand had found its way up my shirt, he removed it and wandered down to my skirt. ‘Oh, my goodness, someone please help me.’

Unexpectedly, as if someone had heard my pleas, someone was vigorously turning the bathroom door’s handle and banging on the door itself to get in. After trying to ignore the banging, Alex finally lifted his face off me for a second.

“Occupied!” he shouted.

I took these few seconds to shout out, “Help!” my voice was horse, I barely recognized it myself.

“Staci!” a voice replied, she sounded like she was in tears. The banging seemed to get louder and more forceful as someone on the other side got angrier, until oddly it stopped and Alex’s body was ripped away from mine.

I jolted awake and examined my surroundings, I think this is where I fell asleep earlier. There was no light shining through the window except the ones from surrounding buildings, had I really been asleep all day? Abruptly, the door creeped open and I tensed up.

“Anastasia, you awake?” Tyler whispered.

“It’s only you,” I breathed out, “yeah, I’m up.”

He came over and sat down, as soon as he did though he recoiled, “God, Ana.”


“You could’ve warned me that you had a nightmare.”

“How did you...”

“This.” He held up a paper and I took it into my grasp, leaned over and turned a light on, “well, that and the fact that whenever you have a nightmare you sweat uncontrollably.”

I realized that I was in fact sweating, and I’d gotten a large portion of the bed sheets wet. “Sorry.”

“That’s fine, I’m prepared, you’ve been doing this for years.”

I turned my attention back to the piece of paper he’d handed me. It read ‘Marriage License’ in bold at the top. I read the rest:

This certifies that on the 15th day of May in the year of our Lord 2009, Tyler Christopher Evan Meyers and Anastasia Sofia Marie Scott were united in marriage at St. Petersburg Church by Rev. Frank Wilson.

“So, this is the real deal. we’re married, huh?”

“No doubt about it, church bells, white dress, superstitious moms and all.”

“Really, how bad were they?”

“They didn’t let me see you for three whole days before the wedding and didn’t let me kiss you goodbye before snatching you away. They’re the only reason we even got married in a church, we had planned to just go to City Hall and sign on the dotted line.”

I smiled, “Wait... what’s today?”

“Thursday May 16th,” he stated matter-of-a-factly.

“Yesterday was...”

“Our sixth anniversary,” he finished and looked down at the bed.

We sat in silence for a while and I found myself wonder what Tyler was thinking. In all honestly, I was just mentally trying not to relive the nightmare I had just experienced.

“Anyways,” he suddenly broke through the thick tension, “you, me, and food have a date in the dining room.”



Didn’t Food tell you?” I joked, “We kinda went out together and decided to make it a closed relationship.”

“Oh well, didn’t Food tell you? It’s been cheating on you... with me.“”

I gasped, “That whore,” he chuckled in response, “I need to take shower first.” I did just that and met him at the table fifteen minutes later.

“Now, I’m sure you’re starving,” as if on cue, my stomach growled and Tyler smiled, “I’ll take that as confirmation.”

“You should,” I sat at the table across from him. We ate in silence for a while before he finally broke it.

“What happened... in the nightmare?”

I looked up, “Huh?”

“The nightmare you had, what happened? Usually it’s recurring, but sometimes you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, I’ll tell you, I’m not too sure what they meant though.”

“I can probably tell you what they mean.”

“Okay, well there were like two parts. First part, I’m in a car, then the car stops and everything goes white.”

“Oh, well- um, I think that’s the car accident, you’re remembering some things. That’s promising.”

“Oh, okay and part two is like me in a bathroom when some guy walks in- Alex, I think,” I see him visibly tense up, “...and I have a feeling you know the rest.”

“Unfortunately. Want me to tell you what happened- like before?” I stayed quiet and nodded my head, “Well, that was the year you met me, freshman year of college, and one night we were at this party and got into a fight.”


“You thought I cheated on you. I didn’t, but you didn’t believe me.”

“Did I believe me now, like before the accident?”

“I don’t know, you always said you did but maybe not, I was a bit of an asshole back then.”

“How so?”

“I was the ‘bad boy’ type, as in I only approached you or any girl for that matter to get in her pants and I had a bit of a record.”

“Was I easy?”

He scoffed, “Oh, I wish,” I raised an eyebrow, “--back then-- you made me work so hard, I even took you on a date.”

“Did you ever cheat on me?”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, “that was way in the beginning, you changed me though, never again.”

“...You really loved me huh?”

He stopped eating, “Yeah... yeah I did.”

“I loved you, right?”

“I’m pretty sure you did.”

I smiled and Tyler returned the gesture, “Anyways, finish telling me what happened.”

“Right. After we fought you ran off and MacKenzie found me and knocked some sense into me, take that literally, so I searched for you and found you.”

“What happened to that Alex guy?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t suppose he got a wife or a job as a model once I disfigured his face, I just hope his genital retrieval surgery went horribly.”

I nearly chocked, “You kicked his butt that bad?”

“Bad enough to get held at the jail until someone came to bail me out? I suppose so.” He looked at his hands as if remembering what he’d done.

“Who came to get you?”

“You did.” He answered absently after a moment, “After that you- um, you stayed at my house for, I don’t know, some sense protection. You were there every day and I loved it, because I loved you.”

For some reason, he hadn’t looked up from his hands and that worried me. I sat fore ward and pushed his hands away.

“Sorry I brought it up.”

“No, it’s fine,” he pointed to the food, “you done?” I nodded, “well listen, I know you’ve got amnesia and all but I washed dishes yesterday so...”

“Are you seriously about to make me wash the dishes right now?” I exclaimed. It somehow lifted my spirits and I couldn’t complain. I was elated that he wasn’t treating me like some stupid girl just because a few of my memories went AWOL.

“If I do it two nights in a row my hands are going to get all- you know- wrinkly and stuff.”

“That is not a legit reason, but since that’s the way things are done around here...” I stood and started to pick up plates, then set them down suddenly, “unless you’re trying to trick me and I never wash the dishes at all, but you’re taking advantage of my ignorant, unseasoned mind.”

“That is a possibility that I did not think of, if I did I would’ve said that you take out the trash and wash the car.”

“Well,” I picked up the plates again, “what do you do while I wash the dishes?”

“I get ready for bed and then we watch TV, go to sleep, or... other stuff, so I’m going to go move my stuff to the couch since I suppose you don’t want to sleep in the bed with a stranger.”

I nodded and I could see a flash of hurt flicker in his eyes, I turned away feeling horrible. I knew my memory loss was a big thing, and he was suffering with the fact that I couldn’t return the same love for him that I used to. I felt his love, but I just couldn’t love him back.

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