I Wish I Loved you

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[Anastasia’s POV]

“You promise to call on the road?” Mackenzie asked me for the fifth time as she let me go from her hug.

“Yes, Mickey, I promise to call every hour on the hour. Plus, Tyler’s driving so there’s minimal chance of an accident.”

She pointed a finger at me, “Don’t even joke about that.”

I smiled, “Sorry, Mom.”

“Are you excited to see family? It’s been like three years- well ten for you.”

I was very excited to see my family and to meet Tyler’s, well again. I had no idea how they’d react to the fact that we didn’t tell them about the accident as soon as it happened.

“I’m excited,” I assured her. As she opened her mouth to say something Tyler cut in.

“I hate to break up the love feast guys, but we’ve got to hit the road if we’re going to make it there by six.”

I looked at my watch, “It’s eight in the morning, Tyler, we’ll be fine.”

“It takes nine hours, seven minutes to get to Ohio from here; that doesn’t include gas and food refills, traffic, or bathroom stops.”

I chuckled quietly and turned to my friend, “I guess I have to say goodbye Mickey.”

After saying goodbye and climbing into the car, he drove off.

“You sure?” I asked Tyler once more. After driving for five hours he looked tired, yet he refused to let me drive or stop at a gas station or rest stop.

“I swear, I’m fine.” he lied. Every time we drifted into silence he slightly swerved and I asked to drive.

“Why won’t you just let me drive, I’ll be fine.”

“Last time I let you talk me into letting you drive you almost died.”

“Could I drive if I promised not to almost die again?”

He glanced at me, “No.”

“Ugh,” I sighed and turned on the radio. I didn’t really remember the song and guessed I heard before the accident, but I immediately started humming.

“You know this song?”

I nodded, “Well, no, I don’t remember hearing it but obviously, I listened to it a lot before the accident. Why?”

“This is I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At the Disco, you listened to it all the time claiming it was ‘our song’, you always said it was the song playing when I walked up to you at that party for the first time.”

I smiled at the light in his eyes as he told me about the history of the song. Afterwards, we rode in a comfortable silence; around five o’clock that evening I dozed off.

I stood in the middle of someone’s front room, sweating drunken bodies surrounded me. Mac was off, probably ‘getting friendly’ a new guy or groping her on again off again college fling, Roman.

I stood off to the side of a makeshift dance floor, drink in hand. As soon as I start to feel the buzz that idiot, Tyler-something, approached me. I never liked the asshole, he was a womanizer and a man-whore; he used his looks to get his way.

“Hey,” when I didn’t respond he looked at the dance floor and continued, “what is it about alcohol that makes rhythmically challenged people think they can dance?”

“What is it about me specifically that makes you think you’re getting into my pants?”


“That’s why you’re here, right? To score a friend to take to bed.”

He scoffed, “No, I’m just trying to make friends, a guy can’t make friends anymore?”

“Not you. You don’t make friends with women, you sleep with them and leave. I won’t be one of those girls.”

I walked out of my technology class, intent on getting home and doing nothing. Just as I rounded the corner to the parking lot my face smashed into the chest of another person.

“Holy- I’m sorry,” I let out.

“No problem, it’s my fault.” I looked up only to met the eyes of that Tyler kid and I rolled my eyes slightly.

“Yeah, whatever. It’s fine.” As I tried to walk around him he grabbed by arm. I whipped around, “What?”

“Uh, let me take you out... to make up running into you.” He smiled.

“Nice pun, but I’d rather have a monkey shit in it’s hand and slap me across the mouth with said hand.” I smirked and walked off, unluckily Tyler followed.

“Oh, come on, what did I ever do to you that has you so pissed at me?”

“Nothing thankfully, I’d like to keep it that way.” He stopped following me and I continued to my dorm room without looking back.

I opened my eyes to the sight of purple skies. The sun had begun to set and I soon as I sat up I realized where we were.

“We’re here.” I said with a genuine smile.

“Technically, we are a couple of houses away from ‘here’, but yeah” I turned to him and smiled.

“Well, hello to you too.”

“Good dreams?” He asked me.

“Um, you could say that... I think it was more of a memory though.”

“Really?” I nodded as he pulled into the driveway of my childhood home. “You wanna tell me about it now or later?”

I straightened out my jumper, “It’s been a while since I’ve seen the family.”

“Say no more, but you’re definitely telling me later.”

I cracked another smile and he mirrored my gesture. I opened the door of the car and stepped out as he turned the it off and opened his own door; I was already knocking on the door by the time he walked up.

“Coming!” I heard an extremely masculine voice yell. I waited for a second before my brother opened the door, that was unexpected.

“Caesar,” I shouted as we hugged, “oh my goodness, you’re humongous.”

“And you’re old,” he retorted, I slapped his shoulder playfully and he called upstairs, “Mom, bajar aquí , alguien está en la puerta!” [Mom, get down here, someone’s at the door!]

She immediately started down the steps, “Hey, deja de grita! ¿Quién demonios en mi puerta a estas horas de la noche? [Hey, stop yelling! Who the hell’s at my door at this time of night?]

As soon as she rounded the corner she let out an ear-piercing shriek. I winced, “Hey, Momma.”

“What are you two doing here? You weren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow.” She asked as she hugged me.

I glanced sideways at Tyler for a millisecond, “Just... wanted to visit earlier, I missed you.”

“We also wanted to get you to ourselves before my mom and sisters get here tomorrow.” Tyler added.

“Well, I’m so happy to see you, but it’s late and I’m washing clothes. You can eat or whatever.”

“’Kay, mom.”

“Thanks Mrs. Scott.” Tyler called as she headed up the steps and I turned to him.

“Nice save,” I commented as his fist met mine in a bump.


I lifted up after putting my messy hair in a bun to see Tyler staring at me, “What?”

“Huh?” He asked absentmindedly, “Oh-um- sorry.”

He smiled slightly after he turned away nervously, “So what are we supposed to do tomorrow, just casually bring the accident and our unborn child up at dinner?”

“I was thinking more dessert,” he joked through the toothpaste in his mouth, “I’d like to at least get a piece of your mom’s cake in my mouth before they go crazy and ask so many questions I can’t get another bite in.”

“What makes you so sure there’ll be cake?”

“Oh, trust me,” he spit in the sink, “there will be.”

After coming out the bathroom Tyler stopped, “What?”

“I didn’t think this through. There’s nowhere for me to sleep.”

“What are you talking about, of course there is,” I patted the left side of the bed, “it’s a queen size bed.”

“I wouldn’t feel right sleeping in your childhood bed.”

“Last time I checked I got this bed when I was nineteen, now stop making excuses not to sleep with me and get in the damn bed.”

He adhered to my command and got into the bed; I climbed in after him after flicking the lights off. We both lay in the bed in silence as I drifted off to Dreamland.

I didn’t realize just how quiet it was until I heard him whisper something with a sigh.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe how much I love you.”

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