An Open door
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, reminiscing about our conversation over dinner and last night’s events that followed. It was the first time I had ever really expressed to him what I wanted...no, what I needed.
Our sex life has always been great, pretty vanilla with a touch of spice. James is a passionate lovemaker, but I have felt like I needed something more for a long time. Like something was missing. I just wasn’t sure how to express it.
Today, I finally told him.
" Babe, I love our sex....it’s just that...I need more sometimes. I need aggression, and way more spice than we currently have.”
“What do you mean?” He asked quizzically. We were standing in the kitchen. I was cooking dinner and he was helping with the little things I needed here and there.
“What I mean is, I need you to be aggressive and forceful with me. Don’t ask me how I want it or what position I want. Tell me what the fuck you want me to do. Grab my hair, smack my ass, and hold my arms down. Dominate me. I need it. Mix the pleasure with pain. Don’t just fuck me. Hurt me and fuck me. Make me submit to you”
For the longest time, I have known what I wanted. I am a masochist and submissive at my core. Though I have never been confident in expressing it. I was also if I am being honest, scared to admit it to him. We are both on the submissive side, though I am more submissive than he is. Telling him that I want him to be the dominant one made me feel like I would be asking too much of him. He surprised me tonight with his response to my request.
" I think I can manage that..” James chuckled. “If dominance is what you want, it’s what you will get.” He came up behind me, wrapped around my waist with one hand, and with the other grabbed a fist full of my hair pulling it and my head back with it. He used the hand wrapped around my waist to fondle my breasts and pull at my nipples. I sighed and relaxed into him as he kissed the sensitive spot on my neck.
“Is this what you want?” He whispered into my ear as he continued his assault on my neck, kissing and sucking his way across my jawline.
“Yes. Mhh please.” I breathed. Suddenly he stopped, let me go, and slapped my ass hard.
“Good. I have a surprise for you later.” I was already wet from him pulling my hair and spanking me, now I was dripping with anticipation for what was to come. God, just the thought of delving and dabbling in that world with him almost made me orgasm. Maybe expressing what I wanted wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
After dinner, we lay sprawled out on the couch watching some Youtube. I was laying against him with his arm wrapped around me. His fingers drew circles across the skin of my arm. I kissed his arm while sitting up stating. ” I think I am going to run and shower before we go to bed.”
I started to stand. He pulled me back to him leaving a trail of kisses anywhere his mouth could reach. ” Good, I need a moment to prepare your surprise anyway.” Wrapped up in dinner I forgot he had even mentioned a surprise. My curiosity piqued once again. I folded into his kisses turning so that he could kiss my lips too. I deepened the kiss for a moment before standing up to go shower, leaving him to prepare for his surprise.
James and I have been together for four years almost five. We both grew up in Arizona, just opposite sides of the state. He grew up in Kingman, a smaller city in upper Arizona. While I grew up in the larger city of Tucson. James does have a dark past though, he doesn’t like to talk about it. I know he had a rough childhood and refuses to talk about his parents. Every time I bring them up he tenses up and a dark sadness mixed with anger looms in his eyes so I have learned it’s just best not to. I luckily can’t say the same. My childhood was fairly normal, aside from the fact that I was always a shy child and didn’t have many friends to speak of. I had good parents who did their best to take care of me. My parents struggled, living in low-class economy housing, I was far from spoiled but always loved.
We both met when I started college in Phoenix. I was just starting as a freshman majoring in Art. He was in his third year of an English major. I picked up a job at a little coffee shop on campus where he also just so happened to work. Our friendship budded right away. I thought he was smart, outgoing and so fucking sexy with his shoulder-length dark curly hair and his deep hazel eyes that looked gold in the light. He was everything I wanted to be and more. I was just the small, brown, poufy haired, shy new girl who didn’t talk to anyone that I didn’t have to. He was able to pull me out of my shell and pushed me to believe in myself. Our friendship quickly developed from a platonic one to dating. He graduated two years later but is still a student-professor at the school. I graduated just a few months ago and now I work as a co director for a small starving artists’ gallery.
Life with James has always been easy. He loves me with everything he is and I feel the same for him. We haven’t fought really, though we do argue sometimes. We can always talk through it. We got a small apartment together shortly before he graduated and have been living here ever since.
I took the time to shave and pamper a bit in the shower just so that James would have some extra time to prepare his surprise, whatever it may be.
