Chapter One
Fortune sides with him who dares.
― Virgil
Alexandra
I remember the love stories my parents would retell when I was just a child somewhere between the lines, “They say love is blind you could fall in love with the least expected person, it’s scary how those people shift from being trivial to the reason you withstand and breathe. Feelings should be feared as they can take over humans’ minds and bodies.”
I wasn’t afraid to lose until I met the right person. That’s when the smallest things made the castle of stone collapse like sand. Back then those words were quite terrifying. They still are but the portrait of love my parents have drawn for me with the brushes of affection and desire and the watercolours of life and love gave me the perfect idea of devotion. Love is sweet like honey but it can sting like a bee. Mother was very sure with the words every time she said and I would listen and gawk as she spoke. Now that I am older I seem to have placed love aside and I instead focus on existing.
The sun lightened up the room as it escaped through the curtains. The two widened brown eyes in front of me, causing quite a distress in the mood as they seemed to have a problem with what I wished.
“You realize it doesn’t function that way right, You can’t just intend something that will only become reality in your fantasies .”
His utterances were never heroic. All he’s good at doing is bringing others down, it’s something done by runovers, if you want to seem like a loser then make sure you make others look like a fool by crushing their suggestion and beliefs of what they like.
“I have already planned this and when I plan something I will make sure it becomes reality even if it takes hundreds of years.”
I started staring into Kylo’s Hazel eyes.
“You can’t just go and try to settle in a foreign land, you have no experience in the industry, how do you think you will turn the ashes into a palace of gold.”
" Dear, let me crack that shell of yours, what you are planning is unthinkable, what you’re intending for is absurd, just like how Kylo said you have no experience in the industry!”
My eyes shift towards the feminine voice maintaining my bitter gaze,
What happened to women supporting women?
“Nothing is unthinkable Leah, I am not here for you two to notify me whether my plan is feasible or absurd I am just here to tell you that I am going to evacuate England for a couple of months and that you two shouldn’t be concerned about me, I am only informing you this because we have been colleagues for five years now.” I stand up pushing the chair back with my force, not tolerating their actions. I turn and leave.
•••
My hand clasped on the steering wheel. I roll my eyes from resentment, “You recognize that you can’t just take off without providing a reasonable explanation.”
Samantha, my high school friend, contended through the phone.
God, I love my supportive friends. What more could I ask for?
“Look, I have my justifications for departing the country and as far as I have reached, the only people who deserve an adequate explanation are my parents.”
My orifices were stuck on the road.
“What about me? Alexandra, what about me, I don’t have the right to know why you are leaving England all of the sudden?” She cried out, I do not understand why she is being so dramatic when I have already told her everything.
“Sam I have already told you why I am leaving, I have to go but I will be back, just have faith in me this once!” I pleaded.
“Fine, just please stay safe. It’s a foreign country and—Anything is possible— especially when you are a woman.“I could hear the concern in her voice, “I am not going to war, I am going to Italy where people are nice and the food is good.” I tease, “But don’t worry I will stay safe.”
Ending the call I stop the car and get out, making my way towards a place called home.
Clutching on my key I open the door merely to be welcomed by two blue ocean eyes
“Alexa, is what Kylo said true?” She yelled.
“Well, greetings to you, mother.“I smile, before taking off my boots and placing my jacket on the hanger near the door.
“Alexa, is it true?” Her voice was now steady but replenished with concern,
“Yes, it’s true.” I then walked into the kitchen, and grabbed the milk bottle from the fridge, “Don’t drink from a bottle that is not very ladylike.” My mum comments changing the topic with one spin, huffing I grab a mug from the counter, and start pouring milk into it.
“Why?” She asked with despair all over her voice and I knew exactly what she meant, “Mother please understand this is what I yearn for, I want this to be a starting point to what I have lacked, I have skipped many steps in my life, and we have already gone through this way before.” I explained as I grabbed my old mother’s hands.
“Okay but please be safe and don’t take risks that will end up hurting you please.” She begged,
“I promise I will be safe but I can’t promise I wouldn’t take risks I am sorry” I gave her a reassuring smile then I continued, “I will leave before dad comes back unfortunately but please explain everything to him so he won’t get worried, although he is already aware of every small detail.” My mum nodded and I kissed her forehead, “You and your dad and your little secrets.” she teases poking my stomach softly,
I giggle walking off, “What can I say I have always been daddy’s girl.”
Hearing her laugh from down the corridor helped me relax as she was slowly adapting to the idea of me leaving. It’s hard to leave the house and place I have known from the moment I cried my first cry but to find what’s best for me I have to leave. Even baby birds leave their nests when they can fly.
I have already packed my bags for tomorrow.
Putting on my silk pyjamas, I put my hair up in a bun, before jumping under the dark shaded blue covers. The nights before big days are always the toughest to sleep in tossing and turning in bed I couldn’t bring my eyes to close so I could drift to dreamland so I grabbed my pillow like I always do when I have trouble sleeping and walk out of my room towards my mother’s bedroom, I knock on the door three times before waiting for a response.
A faint come in was all that was heard from the other side of the door, I pushed the door open revealing my mum laying in bed.
Even though she was a woman of age she was still very put together and gorgeous, her milky skin, blue eyes, brown hair and lined lips are the same for as long as I remember she has always been the same pretty Anastasia Miller, my mother.
“Mum, may I sleep with you tonight like the old days please?“I begged to show her my pillow.
My mum who was now sitting on the bed let out a giggle before responding “Come here dearest come here.” She patted the space beside her which belonged to my dad who was overseas. I step deeper into the room, closing the door behind me. I sprinted toward my mum like a five-year-old and plopped next to her as she covered me with the white blanket, I nuzzled into her and she began stroking my head.
“Goodnight Butterfly.” That is the only nickname I would never get tired of. She’s been calling me that since day one, I snuggled more into her chest sniffing her lavender scent slowly closing my eyes and drifting into dreamland.
••••
“I really can’t believe you are going to leave just like that.” My mum cried as I got closer to her, caressing the tears off her beautiful face.
“Mum, you know me, I can’t just sit still and look pretty.“I then hug her tightly.
“I love you my sweetest child.”
“I love you more, Mother.”
I finally bid her goodbye and left my beloved home for the unexpected life I chose.
I never thought about going back but look where I am now on my way to where everything started, to where I was hurt and bruised. But I am sure this time when I look around I won’t be staring into strangers’ eyes. All I was back then was a pushover but not anymore, I got my chance to survive the coldest nights and hardest days so what I will be doing will be a piece of cake. I won’t back out this time until I gain what I deserve even if it’s not God’s birth-given I will still seize what I deserve by the end of this journey I vow to have everything I have ever wished for.
