The nurse woke us up the next morning at seven in the morning sharp, so we could finally go and have breakfast with our peers. Memories of the night before flashed in my mind as I got dressed in the cold bathroom of the infirmary. It all seemed so surreal, like it didn’t happen. How could someone like him do something like that? Anyway, I was so happy to leave that I dressed into my uniform in less than a minute and was out of there.
I didn’t see Harry on my way out, so I assumed he had already left.
“Ready to go?” the nurse asked me as she adjusted my tie. I never managed to make a proper one.
“Yup,” I said happily “Thank you for taking care of me, of us actually.”
“You’re welcome,” she said and a smile formed on her lips. This woman had helped me when I most needed, not just to heal my wrist, but to survive the hours of boredom inside that room. Without thinking twice, I hugged her for a couple of seconds. I left the nurse’s office and went to the canteen were my friends would be waiting for me with open arms.
I got to the canteen and I walked to our usual table where everyone from my class was. I scanned the room in hopes of finding Harry, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he had already left.
Everyone smiled widely as soon as they noticed me. Anna inclusively got up from her seat and hugged me.
“So, now that Harry isn’t around, be honest: how was it?” Amanda asked, putting her mug down on the table.
“Being there with him? Well, we didn’t talk much, so it was boring.”
“Just that? Wasn’t he a jerk?” asked Anna.
“Oh yeah, a total jerk, but it wasn’t so bad...” I simply said.
Obviously I wasn’t going to tell them what had happened the night before, although I was dying to tell someone. They would say I was completely crazy or something, because obviously Harry Edwards wasn’t capable of doing such thing.
Despite his surprising attitude, my feelings towards him hadn’t changed since the first day I heard about him. Yes, what he did last night got me completely off guard, but he was still the same boy that burned down the stables, and with them, the minuscule respect I had for him.
But my curiosity for that boy had increased drastically. “Because I hurt you once and I didn’t like the way it felt,” his voice kept playing inside my head in a loop. Why? That was the ultimate question that wasn’t going to leave my head until I found out.
“When will your wrist be completely healed?” asked Lottie, bringing me back to reality.
“Uh, the nurse said it would be better when the Winter holidays started, so not long, although she did say it would hurt for quite some time,” I said.
My heart dropped at the remainder of the fact that I would be staying at Hudson for the Winter holidays. I already missed my parents too much, and what happened made me want to see them even more. I felt a nauseating sensation, like I was going to be sick, but I tried to be strong.
“Yeah,” I simply said and smiled forcedly, “But moving on, how have been classes without me? Boring I suppose!”
I was sitting on a bench outside, a cigarette between my lips, no one to be seen. How I’ve missed my little friend.
In the infirmary I couldn’t even mention a cigarette, so obviously smoking was out of question. It’s ironic how those little things had been my only company since the first incident with John, but somehow they were the cause of another tragic incident. It’s just like in life; friends always stabbed you in the back at some point.
It was extremely cold outside, but the warmth of the cigarette heated my insides. Deep down, I didn’t want to smoke again after what I did, I didn’t even want to see one before my eyes, but I couldn’t help it, my body craved it.
Unexpectedly, a little snowflake fell on my knee and melted seconds after, leaving that spot wet. I looked at the sky above me; it was completely covered in grey, dense clouds that extended for as far as my eyes could see. Another snowflake fell on my grey overcoat, then another, and another.
It was snowing for the first time that year. Like a kid, I put my tongue out and a small snowflake melted on my warm tongue. Winter was definitely my favourite season.
I saw some students exiting the building to see the snowflakes, so I headed inside after tossing my cigarette to the floor, making sure it was definitely put out by stepping on it repeatedly.
The warmth of the building heated my body. The difference was so drastic that I had to take my jacket off.
I could feel people stare at me, judging me once more, but I had had enough time to create a shield when I was in the infirmary. Of course, no one dared to make a rude remark, but I could feel them under my skin. It was like I could see thinking bubbles coming out of people’s heads, voicing their thoughts.
Instead of heading to my first class, I when down the spiral stairs to the only room I actually liked in that school.
I opened the door of one of the music rooms, the one I usually went to, and luckily it was empty. I closed the door and sat at the piano. I loosened my fingers and placed my hands on the keys. I started to play and the sound filled the room with the lovely melody.
I used to hear that melody play in my old house so often, not only that one but many. Actually, the only songs I knew were the ones that used to play inside the walls of my old house. I didn’t know many, but the ones I did were enough. The one Summer heard months ago in that exact room was one of them. It was one of my favourites because it was the only happy song I knew, all the others were more slow paced and melancholic, but still had their beauty.
That one in particular, my mum used to play during the winter back in the old days. My mum.
Nostalgia filled my heart and I had to stop playing. My foot stopped pressing the pedal and my hands clenched in a ball. No matter what I did, everything led back to her. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
The most difficult thing about the mess I was stuck in was not the fact that I missed her, it is the fact that, because I hid my feelings, people forgot I had any.