UNDESIRABLE

Personally, I don’t think they deserved her. She was young and she was so stupid to believe that she was cared for. She was nothing but the sweetest girl you could ever meet, but they tore her away until nothing remained. She was big-hearted and had love for everyone and everything, but that changed. She had no love at all, especially because she didn’t believe in love. She didn’t know what love was, but why would she? She didn’t grow up with love in the household, but that wasn’t the only problem. She didn’t have love from her mom or her dad; at least not at the same time. Thrown around, bounced up-and-down from place to place. Dad was gone and mom was too. She woke up and they were back again. She didn’t understand. Next thing she knew, mom and dad were gone again, but this time she was too. Thrown around, bounced up-and-down from place to place. Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Husbands, Move-Outs, and continuous fighting. Drinking, Heartbreak, Abuse (Physically and Mentally). She didn’t understand, but this was normal, right? Normal? She didn’t know what “normal″ was, but this was considered normal for her. Experiencing constant heartbreak/attachment issues made trusting difficult. She learned this was the opposite of normal and learned that heartbreak was normal, but not like this. She began to experience it herself and understood the feeling now. She still didn’t know what love was, but how was she supposed to know? Settlement was important, but whoever settles to hard breaks. She learned this and picked up on these thighs from her relationships and her parents. She was so afraid to fuck up just like mom and dad, but she needed to try to be better than them. She needed to be smart and find what “love″ was. She didn’t want to give up, so she didn’t. But who is this “she”? Well, “she’s” me.