Overwhelmed
Playlist song suggestion: exile (feat. Bon Iver) by Taylor Swift
Arya pov
The mirror in front of me mocks me with the inevitable truth.I was solely responsible for my fate and from my gut instincts I know I made the worst mistake of my life. I push the chair back from the dresser and pace around in my wedding saree just as the door opens and my younger sister Shira walks in holding my handbag and some flowers for my hair. “For someone who is about to get married, you certainly don’t look happy are we having a Julia Roberts moment or are we practicing for a marathon that I am not aware of?” Shira mocks as she takes my elbow and makes me sit at the dresser again and rearranges the flowers in my hair.
“Arya, you know you don’t have to get married to him,” Shira tells me for what seems to be the millionth time today. “I know you think your biological clock is ticking but getting married to the wrong person just so you can have a family can be catastrophic. Terry is an older man, but I do not think he is the one for you.” I woke up from the dresser and start to pace again, Shira was right I knew Terry for over two years now when he asked me to marry him, I told him I needed to think about it eventually I did agree after a year. I know I was settling but my options were slim, everything was arranged, I already transferred schools, I packed all my belongings from my old home and moved into my new home and the person I agreed to marry was not too far away, it was too late now, I agreed and that was that.
“Who do I marry then Shira? I am already 32. I want a family. I want us to have people besides each other. Mum and dad are gone, you are already progressing at work and I have a permanent teaching position. You need to live your life, plus I can build a family with him. He may not be the most handsome man, but he is well educated, mature and what other options do I have? I don’t have suitors lining up for my hand.” I reply to her trying to rid myself of any doubt and swat the invisible dust on my wedding outfit, I hear Shira sighs and I pull her into a hug just as my sister tells me she wishes I was not settling just to get extra family.
Terry was near the hall when Shira and I made our way out from the dressing room area near the temple hall. Shira holds my hand tightly as we make out way Terry who seemed to be indifferent and bored, as for me I was an anxious wreck, Terry nodded at us as Shira sighed under her breath and handed my hand over to Terry you took it loosely as we walked into the hall and greeted the priest who was officiating our ceremony.
The wedding was small, Small, in the sense it was just Shira, terry, the priest, the priest’s assistant and me, Terry was the only child and his parents are deceased just like mine but unlike him I had Shira. When we were done with the ceremony, we did the legal one, the priest registered our marriage, we both signed, Shira was my witness and the priest’s assistant was Terry’s, we received our marriage certificate and we walked out of the hall. “Well wasn’t, that romantic, I could actually feel the room alight with love when you placed rings on each other’s fingers.” Shira mocked sarcastically while I rebuffed her comment “Not everyone wants a romantic wedding Shira, some people just want to get it over with it and carry on with their lives.” I of course was trying to appease myself about Terry’s indifference, I never dreamed about getting married, but I know for a fact a husband should at least compliment his wife. Terry scoffed and agreed with my statement and suggested we leave so we could get out of our garments and rest which I readily agreed to.
Terry drives to my new home and gets out of the car as soon as we arrive and heads inside while I left to struggle out and look at my new home, it is a modest size, nothing screams out at you it blends into the background which makes me shrug and make my way inside.
The interior, the lounge, dining room are together, and the kitchen is in the next room, I noticed that there are three bedrooms and a separate bathroom, the house is relatively neat for a single man but it does not look lived in. I hear a familiar car noise as I see Shira make her way into the driveway and gets out of the car, and goes to the boot, and take out the last of my lounge from my old home, I smile as she makes her way to me and places my bags on the ground and she hugs me tightly “if you need me to call, and enjoy tonight, don’t hold back.” I nod as I hear Terry’s dragging footsteps behind me. “You leaving already? Why don’t you stay and have supper with us Shira?” Terry says to my younger sister. “No thanks, you and my sister need some alone time, plus I have to go back home and get ready for work tomorrow,” Shira says while she goes over and hugs Terry, and leaves the house. I watch my sister drive off and follow him back to the lounge.
Terry and I made small talk until we went to bed and consummated our marriage. I watch my husband roll off me when he was spent and go to sleep while I am left unsatisfied and overwhelmed. I decide that it is best to go to sleep and see what tomorrow held.
Next day
I wake up to the sound of Terry cooking, I decided to shower quickly and dress and head to the kitchen. I wore shorts and a shirt, and I quietly walked to the kitchen. “You up, did you sleep well??” he asks as he continues to scramble eggs and fry sausage, “Yes, do you need help?” I ask as I hover in the entrance of the kitchen, “No go have a seat I will bring breakfast out soon.” Brian replies casually.
Terry severs breakfast and we eat in comfortable silence until he tells me he is going out to the Pub to see his friends and to watch a big football match. I stare at my husband and reply annoyedly “What am I supposed to do while you are gone, Terry? How long are going to be gone?” he shrugs indifferently “Arya, I understand we are now married but I want to go, and relax and watch the match with the boys. You can make supper and maybe call Shira over and get ready for the new school teaching post for tomorrow. I will be back soon. ok.” I nodded and reassure myself that it will not always be like this. We eat in silence again, and after a while, he kisses my cheek and leaves the house, and says he will be home soon.
I use the landline and invite my sister over; she is surprised I invited her home so soon but doesn’t decline the invitation.
Shira hugs me as soon as she gets inside, and I cannot help but hold on to her longer than necessary. We go to the lounge where I am already prepping for my first day at Sunridge Primary School, but nothing escapes my baby sister’s notice “Arya, why are you home alone? and where is Terry? Shouldn’t you both be spending more time together considering you did not go on a honeymoon? Shouldn’t you both be shagging each other into the middle of next week?” I narrow my eyes at my sister and reply irritably “Terry is gone to the pub and will be back later.” “Arya you are newly wedded you should be together, what if this is an everyday thing what if his home is just a place to sleep and that’s it?” I sigh at my sister and smile sadly “if it is, I will have to talk to him, but let’s enjoy our day together. and let me take one day at a time Shira...” I say softly as I repeat the phrase in my mind trying to shake off the pang of settling doubt...” Just One day at a time...”
***Much love... Adhara...patreon.com/AdharaRigel ***
