1.1: Good-bye Dante
The sound of her screams pierced through me right before a fire filled me that burned like hell.
“Dante no!” He cried. It hadn’t quite hit me yet. I wasn’t too sure what was going on, but I knew something bad was happening. I’d seen her popping out of the shadows like a phantom of the night. I tried to warn him, call out his name, but he was too caught up in his own head to listen. I’d seen the gun just before I heard the shot. Luckily it missed him. She seemed shocked by the fact that she pulled the trigger. Firing the weapon must have spooked her causing her to drop the gun before she ran just as another shot rang out.
Fire spread through my torso. I guess I was too slow getting out of the way. I was in and out of it. My vision was blurring. I could hear her screams. Hear him calling my name. The deafening sounds of their cries haunted me until I passed out.
They were begging me to come back.
~3 days later~
I never expected that blaming yourself could be such a heavy burden. The guilt has never settled so deep within before. Whatever I felt before this moment didn’t compare to what I was feeling now as I stared at him lying in a hospital bed. He was rushed right into surgery when we got here. They thought the bullet went straight through before complications happened and then found fragments that still remained. Due to the unforeseen circumstances he was now in a coma and they didn’t know when or if he would wake.
I knew this was fault. If I hadn’t run away. If I’d been paying attention. If I would have just gotten out of my feelings and listened he wouldn’t be in here. This one was on me and not only would Violet never forgive me again, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. The steady beating of the heart monitor was more of a knife to the already bleeding heart from the cries of Violet. This was too much now, it has always been too much, but they only continued to take it too far.
Trying to keep the tears at bay, I reached out and locked his fingers in mine. It felt foreign. This wasn’t our Demon lying here.This a shell of the man we loved waiting for him to come back; and it was starting to seem like it would be waiting for a long period of time. Letting it all consume me, I finally opened my mouth to say something. I hadn’t spoken for the last couple of days, but right now I felt I had the urge to do so.
“I know you’re wondering where she is and if she’s okay.” I laughed, but even I could hear that it was joyless. “She’s not okay Demon, she misses you. She tried to be here, but then all that happened with the surgery. She had a nervous breakdown and a panic attack. She was sedated and put under a twenty-four hour watch. It was then that I learned it was because of what she’d already been through that they felt the need to watch her. She’s more broken than I thought. They took her from me, Demon. I haven’t seen her in three days. I haven’t seen you in three days. Sapphire disappeared. I’m driving myself nuts. The only good thing is that they found Amber and she confessed. She too is now behind bars where she belongs. There going to charge her with attempted murder and some other things, but that’s assuming your status doesn’t change. Please Demon don’t change your status. I need you here. Violet needs you here. You need you here. Too much has been taken from us and it’s not fair. I waited too long to tell both of you how I felt. I was ashamed and confused. I hate myself for falling for the both of you. I hated that I was so weak and everyone could see it. I hated that I was gay for you. I hated that I was weak for her. I hated how special the both of you were to me. I didn’t deserve the both of you. I thought my love for you was misplaced guidance. I thought I considered you both as honorary siblings. I didn’t notice when it started to change, but I guess it’s a reason for that too. What I felt for the both of you has always been obvious to everyone, but me. I was so confused and deep in my own denial that I forced myself to believe the false narrative I created in my own head. Baby, the love I have for yall goes deeper than I ever thought was possible. I am y’alls. I belong to the both of you and I always have. I am your man. I am her man. It’s my job to protect both you and every time I fail. It’s because of me that y’all are hurting. First Austin, now Amber. Baby I am so sorry, but I have to go. I’ll be back....I just don’t know when.” With tears in my eyes, I gave his lips one last kiss. The fact that he hadn’t moved made me cry harder as I had to force myself to cling to him harder. I had to walk away. I had to get better for them. Just before I stepped over the threshold and away from his bedside, I turned back to say one final thing. “I really hope that you can understand why I’m doing this. I really hope that she’ll be understanding also. I just don’t know what to do anymore, Demon. I can’t be the strong one this time. We’re separated again. You can’t take back and she’s not allowed visitors. Just one week was what they told me for the both of you. One week and we’ll go from there. See you in five days Demon. I hope Buttercup will be here when I’m back. I love you both.”