Things you cannot fix
Former space engineer, a war veteran shares his story. But what purpose will it serve?
A story about a man haunted by his memories, an everlasting conflict and innocence caught in between.
A: What does it take to make a man?
B: Is it the biological frame?
A: Or is it something else?
B: Maybe it is that little spark inside your chest...
A: … that can light the path or ignite the flame.
A: And what does he think, hm?
B: Leave him be.
B: There are no... „tools”... for what he needs to do.
A minute of silence, broken by a distorted sound.
Short, deep sigh*
Beginning of a personal log.
Many stories are kept in ones heart, never to see a light of a day. Such tales of the past either deserve no highlight or are too much of a burden to recall in the memory.
It is safe to say that I was somewhat of a part in that said story and I can no longer keep it to myself, or to be more precise - I do not want to.
My name is Anthony Rogers and I am.. I was a senior technician of our combined war effort during the great galactic conflict years ago. A war started seemingly by us, but in the end it occurred to majority of humanity that it was inevitable in the first place. It was in 2053 that we discovered the art of high-speed space travel and that was what caused the incoming strife to ensure our kind's survival. What we created caught the attention of dormant entities living in sub-dimension in close vicinity of our Mother Earth - Dakrhans as they were called. Needless to say when two civilizations clash together there are not many options when it comes to coexistence. Due to our nature it was almost inherent that conflict was ensured. Total war raging between our two nations left the world we lived in completely devastated and drained of its resources.
You may think that my haunting memories have something to do with war and casualties themselves but… No, it's far from truth.
As you might realize already that ongoing conflict gave ... "birth" to great amount of refugees and orphans - a byproduct of our vicious nature and tenacity of our adversaries. We created weapons and armaments unknown to history of mankind only to bathe ourselves in violence and bitter hatred. That race of who can rain fire and destruction on the other side, in most efficient and effective way clouded our vision, making us blind for anything else.
I would work at one of planetary destroyers at that time - fifth in power, Armageddon class- conserving and upgrading siege engines and other unimaginable weapons of mass destruction. Oddly enough, we were stationed close to Earth's orbit attempting to reopen warp gate to the world of our enemies. As risky as it was brilliant, that duty kept us at the tip of our toes considering our home world remained within sight. Because of constant exchange of fire many citizens and civilians have been taken aboard our giant warships to protect ever important members of our combat-exhausted civilization.
It was in 2061 when a small, seemingly unimportant incident took place. One of the sheltered civilians, a small girl ventured deeply in the heart of our warship. It takes no genius to realize that she got lost pretty easily in the labyrinth of cables, wires and dark machinery. While she was on her small involuntary adventure she managed to jam one of our service station, used to repair smaller vessels of army - took me a while to figure this enigma out - apparently she accidentally dropped her toy in between the cogs resulting in this whole ruckus. Obvious as it may be, on-board militia realized something odd happened and alarmed the whole sector. It was quite a surprise for ones sight that the cause of this commotion was a small child - who would have thought such a small being could bring so many troubles along? Needless to say this incident added some spice to the whole nervous atmosphere already present among brave warriors of our liberation. Thinking of an appropriate punishment for such a vicious "criminal" the militia officer got surprised yet again - this time by a teenage member of the civilian sector.
To me she will always be somewhat mysterious.
Short, dark purple hair, covering half of her face till the middle of her right cheek shrouded her ever serious face. One visible eye unraveling the deep blue colour - the one you'd like to stare into for eternity. Dressed like an ordinary commoner in military-distributed clothwear, not offering any protection against damage - it was our job to keep them all safe in the end. I believe I had seen her before but cannot say for sure. With a determined glance she approached a small girl and with a gentle, honest smile said:
'There you are, little sister! I have been looking for you everywhere!'
The little one had no clue what had just happened, neither had the staggered guards. Her savior must have been a complete stranger to her, yet she played her part in defusing the situation.
The situation got resolved as fast as it took place. Since then I paid more
attention towards those two curious girls. I managed to discover that they were
both unrelated orphans who lost their parents during the critical point of our
conflict - Dakrhans' invasion of Area 6, most important facility of our
combined forces. Threads of fate tied those two girls together during those
dark times, providing small glimpse of light, it seemed.
I observed them for half a year. It was somehow heartwarming to see something good in those unpleasant times. As time passed their bond got even stronger and it was almost impossible to say that those girls weren't actually real sisters. Had it not been for those hard times I supposed I'd have smiled back then.
However, life likes to remind us of horrors we'd rather leave behind. It didn't take much time till The Grand Command of our fleet decided to deliver a final blow to our opponent. Yes, we eventually managed to recreate the warp gate leading to the homeworld of Dakrhans and it had been already decided we'd gather an enormous force to put this whole conflict to an end. The plan was as simple as it could be - an all out, full scale, direct assault with all vessels we had at this time. It was supposed to be a total annihilation - for either side.
Few vessels were supposed to stay behind in order to host a number of civilians and ensure our race's survival... should we fail.
Little did we know about a great conspiracy, carefully plotted behind the backs of The Grand Command. It was undoubtedly the most crushing moment in the history of humanity. Luckily for me I got reassigned to a smaller vessel, safeguarding our rear, just before the warp gate. Moments before the operation took place, while remaining citizens were being transported between warships, a nightmare noone expected was brought to life. Over 20 high class vessels engaged their warp engines. Noone could tell what was happening back then.
Now it all seems much clearer.
We were being abandoned by a great number of our brothers and sisters. A conspiracy that had been unknown to anyone resulted in schism of our nation - the greatest scar you could ever leave. They thought about every small details, this whole operation was planned for the precise moment of The Grand Command's full scale assault. You cannot possibly imagine the chaos and confusion that was ensured after such action - the most severe betrayal of all times.
Standing there, confused and broken I felt like I wasn't present in this whole situation. It felt so unreal I could only stare through a small window into the cold abyss of the universe that mocked our existence in this very moment. Suddenly I got woken up from my self-induced mind slumber by a very familiar shape in the distance that appeared near the civilians' vessels. It was Iva, the one that impressed me so much half a year ago with her selfless act.
She ... I don't know how to describe the way she looked. The expression she had
on her face...Never have I felt such a chill down my spine. I could only
imagine what happened. She was alone. For the first time she was not with Ann.
She must have come to my vessel with the last transport from the last warship -
the one that was being abandoned by the traitors.
What could have happened ? Where's her "little sister"?
After regaining my sanity I quickly approached her but before I could say a word she muttered slowly:
"I...... I........ But..... have to... "
Before I could notice anything she was already gone. I heard a loud noise. The noise I know too damn well. It was an emergency space shuttle. I took a quick look through the emergency section window – There it was. A small, lonely vehicle drifting towards the abandoned warship - one that was bursting with life only a few hours ago.
- "Oh you stupid.." I whispered through my teeth.
How did she even... ? What is she thinking ? What should I… ?
I wasn't given much time to think, even though the whole eternity would have been too little. The sudden burst of explosions and what we call "space storm" ( Energy waves caused by immense usage of energy and laser-based weaponry ) made me lose my ground.
I fell and got hit by debris from the ceiling.
a l l
w e n t
d a r k.
...oh sing to me...
...like You did that day...
..to see the light...
...between the pain”
I woke up at the medical quarter. Can't say exactly how long I spent unconscious.
I swear I could hear that song.. but that's impossible.
It was a big surprise to me that I was the only person around. My head wasn't allowing me to think clearly but I knew I needed to find Iva. Everyone around seemed confused, even the military people wandered around cluelessly. It was utter chaos and despair, but I couldn't care less for anything else than reaching the depot, where the ceiling collapsed.
I must have looked terrible, judging by the fact that
on my way to the destination point one officer, whose face I was incapable of
recalling, tried to issue some orders but seeing the futility of his action he
moved on towards the ammunition storage.
Finally, there it was – the depot number 3, one that hosted civilians' vessels. To my horror it appeared that it was empty – not a single vehicle returned. I took a quick glance through the only window that wasn't covered by the debris. The abandoned ship was drifting away, into the void. Noticing that control panel remained intact, despite the surrounding destruction I sent a scanning signal to the vessel hijacked by Iva.
It was out of energy.
I froze in place. My part of this story ended right here. I was completely useless – as the rebellion damaged all the abandoned warships to hinder the coalitions ability to pursue them or to render resistance of any sort, there was no way to interact with them remotely.
And there she was – a lonely girl aboard the doomed
warship, drifting away from humanity's chaos and confusion as if trying to find
solace in the cosmic peace.
With no help.
Standing there, time stopped its existence for
I felt as if I could walk a thousand miles, but my feet wouldn't move.
I wanted to cry – I really did – but my heart wasn't beating.
I felt the most insignificant person in the world, unable to act despite the will.
Heh... pretty pathetic till the end.
I have felt empty since that day – to simply imagine the terror and sadness one could feel being in her shoes was too much for me.
Truth be told, I have no idea how I got off the
warship and ended up in the safety zone. Everything around seemed so irrelevant
and petty. Just another war, just another struggle – another pointless conflict
fueled by the fires of hate and the lust for power.
I fought my own war – inside. War with only casualties and no winners.
After doing some shady researching and illegal data-mining I determined Ann's fate. She was listed among the traitors, meaning she must have been taken aboard one of fleeing vessels, before the previous one got abandoned.
Existence mocked again by our dear universe – what ungodly force could be so cruel to create such a horrible irony ?
Just thinking about it makes me want to....
In the pursue of someone she held dear, Iva paid the biggest price for her determination.
And there was only one person to ever shed a tear for her.
That will do. For now.
This was Anthony Rogers.
End of personal log.