Hi. Hello. I’m not really sure how to start this, but I need to just start. I’m currently surrounded by crumpled up pieces of paper, and the kids will be back soon and I haven’t gotten one page out.
So here I am, starting.
These past few months have made it clear who really cares about me, and who I really care about. It's a hard thing, finding out where you're wanted or unwanted. And that's been my job so far - making sure all those who feel unwanted and unwelcome know that they are in fact wanted and welcome. My job is to show love to people who haven't felt love in a long time - if ever. I believe I have done right to these children during my time with them, and I hope to have much much more time here. But I do not have a say in the interworking of the plans of the universe, so if it is my time, I will go.
I want them to know how much I love them, how no matter how bad it gets, I'm always here for them, and when I am no more, they are here for each other.
If my time here is done, then I hope they will find this documentation to remind them of the good times, but also the bad. Of the times they rose above hate and discrimination, and took the higher path. Of when they were prosecuted for their crimes deservingly - I hope they remember the feeling of consequences. Of when they turned their backs on each other, only to fall. Of when they picked each other back up and glued together the pieces. Of when they survived as a family.
Nothing I have ever done will be as hard as it will be to leave you.
And for hurting you, I am sorry.
But my time here has expired, and I am ready for my peace now.
Thank you for filling my life with joy,
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