Never Hitchhike Drunk

By CM_Weller All Rights Reserved ©

Scifi / Humor

Never Hitchhike Drunk

Let me tell you, there are some cargo haulers out there who can make Space Lightning out of anything that can ferment.
And freeze-distilling that stuff in Kelvin-scale temperatures gives it one hell of a kick.
And my brewer in chief decided to drop me off somewhere light years away from my destination.
A planet in the middle of a generations-long war.
By the time I got there, they’d been killing each other for millennia and just about the entire planet was an immense graveyard. I say ‘graveyard’ but it was more along the lines of ‘garden’.
See, both sides elected to honour their dead with sort of… tree things. If you can imagine a hybrid of a carrot, pumpkin, broccoli and Yggdrasil as a ‘tree’. They looked like trees and that was good enough for me.
There was only one town left and it had a thick wall in the middle that passed for the spaceport. And administrations building. It was there that I discovered, in my hangover haze, that both sides were no longer fighting over any kind of moral issue. They were fighting over land in which to live.
All those trees left zero territory for housing or farming.
I went for an escorted tour and someone informed me that they were edible from root to leaf.
“Well,” I said, “Why don’t people eat the insides and live in them, then?”
You could hear a pin drop.
I wasn’t quite sober, yet, so I assumed the tour was over and ambled back to the hostel room that was literally a hole in the wall.
And when I woke up… I was not only saviour of the planet, but also the mayor of the now-expanding Broccolopolis.
I have my very own Ygdrassil-manor with an indoor pool, though. It’s not all bad. And they make a killer tree-sap brew here. Want to try some? No strings attached…

Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Ioanna Petrea: I loved the story so much! It kept me in agony till the end! Keep going like that i can't wait to read more of your books!

kerry hadley: Can't wait for an update, the story is brilliant so far I haven't been able to put my phone down

Galaxy Penguin: I loved reading this story. It was really great.

Victoria Asamoah: Great writing styleConsistency in pointGreat book

DinaxDina: Grammar needs some work

athena harris: I'm enjoying the book

CassAthena: God I love this book...haven't stopped laughing

baddieAlert_: Luv it !! Its so amazing

Allison Jenner : Best book I have ever read,so heart touching story!!Love it,you guys should really read this!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤Love this story so much

More Recommendations

hutsonh: Great book

Stargazer : Easton and mallory are sooososossocciuuuutteteee I CANT WAIT PLEASE NEED AN UPDATE!!11

poojaytasivram: It is a very interesting book

Peter Morris: The author has much to say. Seems like he hurries at times. Technical theories outstanding. Some sentices seem to be auto corrected, or it was spoken and msis interpreted. Slow down and bring more intense graphic descriptions to your story. Where you going with this . we'll see.

David G: I've noticed since grammatical errors up to this point in the book as well as some punctuation errors.There have been a few instances where words were completely missing in order for the sentence to make sense as well.

Olynsie Morris: Wren is so goddamn adorable. Soft with some hidden spunk

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.