Never Hitchhike Drunk

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Summary

Beware a Galactic beverage known as Space Lightning. It can get you into all kinds of trouble.

Genre:
Scifi / Humor
Author:
CM_Weller
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
3.3 3 reviews
Age Rating:
16+

Never Hitchhike Drunk

Let me tell you, there are some cargo haulers out there who can make Space Lightning out of anything that can ferment.
And freeze-distilling that stuff in Kelvin-scale temperatures gives it one hell of a kick.
And my brewer in chief decided to drop me off somewhere light years away from my destination.
A planet in the middle of a generations-long war.
By the time I got there, they’d been killing each other for millennia and just about the entire planet was an immense graveyard. I say ‘graveyard’ but it was more along the lines of ‘garden’.
See, both sides elected to honour their dead with sort of… tree things. If you can imagine a hybrid of a carrot, pumpkin, broccoli and Yggdrasil as a ‘tree’. They looked like trees and that was good enough for me.
There was only one town left and it had a thick wall in the middle that passed for the spaceport. And administrations building. It was there that I discovered, in my hangover haze, that both sides were no longer fighting over any kind of moral issue. They were fighting over land in which to live.
All those trees left zero territory for housing or farming.
I went for an escorted tour and someone informed me that they were edible from root to leaf.
“Well,” I said, “Why don’t people eat the insides and live in them, then?”
You could hear a pin drop.
I wasn’t quite sober, yet, so I assumed the tour was over and ambled back to the hostel room that was literally a hole in the wall.
And when I woke up… I was not only saviour of the planet, but also the mayor of the now-expanding Broccolopolis.
I have my very own Ygdrassil-manor with an indoor pool, though. It’s not all bad. And they make a killer tree-sap brew here. Want to try some? No strings attached…

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Further Recommendations

Shay Hartog: Highly recommend reading this story!!!It's full of everything good and sweet

Ashley Elizabeth Geswein: Cute book. I enjoyed reading it.

jogamaspearce: That was nice reading. Thank you.

Columbine Pirouette: I have never had as much laughs in reading as this one. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. This is a wholesome, well rounded entertainment. I really enjoyed reading this novel! 👍👍

Paula: Once again a beautiful story, very well written with great characters, great plot.I love your stories Natalie le roux.Thank youI can't stop reading.

Abhishek ( ABHI ): Love it ....😍🥰No more words ....🥰

Nancy Cain: An interesting storyline that had a very strange romance theme, I do know happyville is definitely a place I would have been exiled from ! Thank you for your wonderful imagination!

Elizabeth: Absolutely in love with the book! Can’t wait for more!

Silvi18: Great and amazing book.Characters are cute … I like the humor. The plot is great too.Thank you author. Keep writing.

More Recommendations

Callie: I really like the story so far. @cajungal, please keep doing what your doing because it is really working. Can't wait for the next chapter

judinazro: Engaging! It was easy to get into the characters and the plot flowed very well. I am hoping the author will continue this saga and keep the story going.

Haelie: Definitely interested in reading more of this story. I love human/alien stories, particularly when they can't understand each other to begin with. It makes it more interesting. There are punctuation, grammar and spelling mistakes and I regularly find myself having to go over things a couple of ti...

Janice_T: Although it’s short, I love it. The proposal came really quick, but I guess when you know you know. Really lovely story and pretty hot 🥵...❤️❤️❤️

Dracyy: This book needs to come with a warning ⛔️ DO NOT start reading late in the day. Trust me you won’t be getting a lot of sleep because it’s THAT GOOD! DO NOT drink any liquids while reading. Trust me electronics and liquid don’t mix. One good laugh and whoops! Wear a disguise 🥸 when reading in publ...

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