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Never Hitchhike Drunk

By CM_Weller All Rights Reserved ©

Scifi / Humor

Never Hitchhike Drunk

Let me tell you, there are some cargo haulers out there who can make Space Lightning out of anything that can ferment.
And freeze-distilling that stuff in Kelvin-scale temperatures gives it one hell of a kick.
And my brewer in chief decided to drop me off somewhere light years away from my destination.
A planet in the middle of a generations-long war.
By the time I got there, they’d been killing each other for millennia and just about the entire planet was an immense graveyard. I say ‘graveyard’ but it was more along the lines of ‘garden’.
See, both sides elected to honour their dead with sort of… tree things. If you can imagine a hybrid of a carrot, pumpkin, broccoli and Yggdrasil as a ‘tree’. They looked like trees and that was good enough for me.
There was only one town left and it had a thick wall in the middle that passed for the spaceport. And administrations building. It was there that I discovered, in my hangover haze, that both sides were no longer fighting over any kind of moral issue. They were fighting over land in which to live.
All those trees left zero territory for housing or farming.
I went for an escorted tour and someone informed me that they were edible from root to leaf.
“Well,” I said, “Why don’t people eat the insides and live in them, then?”
You could hear a pin drop.
I wasn’t quite sober, yet, so I assumed the tour was over and ambled back to the hostel room that was literally a hole in the wall.
And when I woke up… I was not only saviour of the planet, but also the mayor of the now-expanding Broccolopolis.
I have my very own Ygdrassil-manor with an indoor pool, though. It’s not all bad. And they make a killer tree-sap brew here. Want to try some? No strings attached…

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Further Recommendations

Reval Korkees: This is such a creative and lovely book I read it in a few uninterrupted hours and I definitely don’t regret it at all the author made a true masterpiece here and it should be discovered by the world.

Hailey Lancaster: I Absolutely love this book. I don't want to put it down. I relate to Luna so much and I super love all the characters. I don't know what else to say other than I love it so very much and it is now one of my favorite books.

SwirlingSky: I love this book! It has everything a good book has. It has a dark twist that really improves the overall story

Lauren Bowman: Love how it’s sports and not just some sappy stuff

Shymaa Abou Bakr: Amaaaazing

TheDevilWorshipsMe: Let's just say Holy Shit. l hate him I do, yet I still love him and this messed with my emotions. I hope there is a sequel in the future. It will keep you craving for more and staying up late becomes a habit

Lil_fangirl27: Just one word can describe this book: Amazing!!!!Absolutely loved this book from beginning to end and I wish you the very best of luck writing future amazing works and have fun writing!!!

brina1031: It says it's complete? Is there going to be another book? Such a huge cliff hanger. It's a good story, a lot of grammatical errors. It was hard to read sometimes. Still really good though. Hope there will be more to the story

More Recommendations

apalmer3: This book seems pretty well thought out. However, it is plagued with grammar mistakes and misspellings. A bit of proofreading before releasing a chapter would make the reading experience better.

Hazel Shasin Nadar: Good one, a bit of a grametical mistake, the plots amaze, plz give a little cliffhanger, will do good.... Otherwise everything is amazing.. And plz update faster... I know its hard but plz... Ur killing the readers.. Oh and put some steamy stuff also to spice up a little..

uzitalker1: Lovely story. I couldn't stop reading until finished. The twist on the plot was amazing.👏 😍. However, it needs to be proof-read to correct the few minor grammatical errors.

Hope Petrie: It was good for a first book it’s not the best I’ve read but I loved the simplicity of it. it was something to enjoy to get away for a while.I will definitely be checking out the other books I hope there similar to this one.

Natalya Faith Lewis: Such an amazing story. Great story line had me wondering whats gunna happen. Thank you fpr asharing this story with us. I would deffenatly read it again. Keep up the good work

Mıly Benz: We need more character like Wren and story like this 💕💕

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