Never Hitchhike Drunk

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Summary

Beware a Galactic beverage known as Space Lightning. It can get you into all kinds of trouble.

Genre:
Scifi / Humor
Author:
CM_Weller
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
3.3 3 reviews
Age Rating:
16+

Never Hitchhike Drunk

Let me tell you, there are some cargo haulers out there who can make Space Lightning out of anything that can ferment.
And freeze-distilling that stuff in Kelvin-scale temperatures gives it one hell of a kick.
And my brewer in chief decided to drop me off somewhere light years away from my destination.
A planet in the middle of a generations-long war.
By the time I got there, they’d been killing each other for millennia and just about the entire planet was an immense graveyard. I say ‘graveyard’ but it was more along the lines of ‘garden’.
See, both sides elected to honour their dead with sort of… tree things. If you can imagine a hybrid of a carrot, pumpkin, broccoli and Yggdrasil as a ‘tree’. They looked like trees and that was good enough for me.
There was only one town left and it had a thick wall in the middle that passed for the spaceport. And administrations building. It was there that I discovered, in my hangover haze, that both sides were no longer fighting over any kind of moral issue. They were fighting over land in which to live.
All those trees left zero territory for housing or farming.
I went for an escorted tour and someone informed me that they were edible from root to leaf.
“Well,” I said, “Why don’t people eat the insides and live in them, then?”
You could hear a pin drop.
I wasn’t quite sober, yet, so I assumed the tour was over and ambled back to the hostel room that was literally a hole in the wall.
And when I woke up… I was not only saviour of the planet, but also the mayor of the now-expanding Broccolopolis.
I have my very own Ygdrassil-manor with an indoor pool, though. It’s not all bad. And they make a killer tree-sap brew here. Want to try some? No strings attached…

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Further Recommendations

Autumn: Definitely need a sequel to this! Great story.

Katie Almaraz: Love it already! You’re doing great!

Denise Reinhart: A spellbinding read. Hard to put down a captive her imagination from beginning to the end

dhondta: This story was such a smooth read. I had great fun going through it. It touched several genres, with clear purpose and had a few very unexpected plot twists that made me reading feverishly way past my bedtime.That said, I also felt there were a few holes in the thought processes of the characters...

Jenna: i do wish we got more details on what they did!!

Bitch_WTF: I loved this book and i hope you make a second one !!

annamariejvr77: Nice storyline

7120caw: This is very exciting. Short , erotic and just great. Looking forward to reading more of your books 📚 📕

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Jane Chatsika: Kyla met her fate, she chose a man she will never regret meeting. I dedicate this to my friend Loveness...love will always find a way. The book is awesome cant wait to read it all

Amanda: Very interesting so far

JIJI: Still in chapter 10 and yet the book is wonderfully amazing ... can't wait to finish reading it and wish for the writer to update regularly.

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