Mr Crunch

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Summary

Mr Crunch was new in town and he was looking for a weapon that packed a solid punch.

Genre:
Scifi / Humor
Author:
David Viner
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
5.0 3 reviews
Age Rating:
13+

Short Story

Mr Crunch was new in town. Actually, he was new on planet.

He walked the streets, searching. After a couple of hours he found something in a back street that looked promising.

The shop sign said "Dag Strek, Licensed Armaments." As Mr Crunch pushed open the door the tinkle of a bell resulted in a "Be with you in a mo" response from a back room.

So he looked around at the goods on sale. Something on a shelf caught his eye. Perfect, he thought, pulling it down. His many fingers fitted the grip neatly and he noted that it was already fully charged.

Mr Crunch was grateful that the being that emerged from the shadows had its head and other appendages in the usual places. He hated communicating with strange forms – never being sure if he was looking them in the eye or possibly the rectum. Mr Crunch definitely preferred to look others in the eye and preferred those eyes to be located on or, at least, close to their heads.

"This," said Mr Crunch, waving the device under the shopkeeper's odour orifice. "How much?"

"Everything is negotiable," the shopkeeper responded.

"Indeed," said Mr Crunch, debating with himself where he would begin the haggle. "I will give you, hmm, 150 credits. It is rather old."

"Antique," the shopkeeper agreed, before adding, "and collectable. I could accept maybe as little as 500."

The haggle continued for a few minutes before Mr Crunch finally departed lighter to the tune of 295 credits and heavier by one Sinosian Electro-taser. He placed the device in a pouch within his outer clothing where his hand could become familiar with its shape and texture.

From another pouch he produced a key and used its locator function to lead him to the hotel. A short while later found him sharing an elevator with a couple of strange forms. He was relieved when they alighted several floors below the one he required, though the methane breather left its odour to accompany him the rest of the upward journey.

Outside the room Mr Crunch activated the key. As the door swung open he sprang into the room, the taser device gripped in his hand. The creature had its back to him. It started to turn.

"Where the hell have you be-"

The voice was cut off as Mr Crunch activated the taser, the force hitting the creature full in its ample torso. It howled and fell over onto the bed where it convulsed for a few seconds before becoming still.

Mr Crunch walked over and looked down at the creature. It slowly opened its eyes and stared back up at him.

"God," it said, "that was absolutely wonderful. And here was I ready to bite your head off… but you remembered."

"Of course I did, darling," said Mr Crunch. "Happy birthday."

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Further Recommendations

nidhimedha90: its a good story ..really want to know what happens next and the chemistry which will soon be created between them ....not like the stories which i have read till now where the boss ends up marrying his employee ...but this is different ....He basically asked her to be his EX WIFE and not his W...

The Amateur Critic: Another beautiful love story. Thank you. 🥰❤️

Wilma Evangelio Tamesis: I like it a lot. Although punctuations, the “he” and “she” are confusing and I need to re-read it again, overall it’s a good story.

aurorahorn4: This is so awesome it has captured my heart and I look forward to when I can own the actual book I will continue to read this keep up the awesome work

Gacha_: I like the fact that this story is unique and I can say it myself I can read this book over and over

Molly Merritt: This is one of the best books I have ever read and that’s saying something. The plot is really interesting and unique compared to others and it’s got so many details put into the storyline that are perfect for that scenario. And I just overall think this is a really good book

Kara: Amazing! 10/10 recommend!!

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SP_MUSIC: I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Mary Ann Bañes Estomago: I like this novel

amageoant: Its a good story...enjoyed reading it

Catherine Enow: I am an absolute fan of the authors work however I feel like the plot is getting repetitive/ redundant

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