Mr Crunch

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Summary

Mr Crunch was new in town and he was looking for a weapon that packed a solid punch.

Genre:
Scifi / Humor
Author:
David Viner
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
5.0 3 reviews
Age Rating:
13+

Short Story

Mr Crunch was new in town. Actually, he was new on planet.

He walked the streets, searching. After a couple of hours he found something in a back street that looked promising.

The shop sign said "Dag Strek, Licensed Armaments." As Mr Crunch pushed open the door the tinkle of a bell resulted in a "Be with you in a mo" response from a back room.

So he looked around at the goods on sale. Something on a shelf caught his eye. Perfect, he thought, pulling it down. His many fingers fitted the grip neatly and he noted that it was already fully charged.

Mr Crunch was grateful that the being that emerged from the shadows had its head and other appendages in the usual places. He hated communicating with strange forms – never being sure if he was looking them in the eye or possibly the rectum. Mr Crunch definitely preferred to look others in the eye and preferred those eyes to be located on or, at least, close to their heads.

"This," said Mr Crunch, waving the device under the shopkeeper's odour orifice. "How much?"

"Everything is negotiable," the shopkeeper responded.

"Indeed," said Mr Crunch, debating with himself where he would begin the haggle. "I will give you, hmm, 150 credits. It is rather old."

"Antique," the shopkeeper agreed, before adding, "and collectable. I could accept maybe as little as 500."

The haggle continued for a few minutes before Mr Crunch finally departed lighter to the tune of 295 credits and heavier by one Sinosian Electro-taser. He placed the device in a pouch within his outer clothing where his hand could become familiar with its shape and texture.

From another pouch he produced a key and used its locator function to lead him to the hotel. A short while later found him sharing an elevator with a couple of strange forms. He was relieved when they alighted several floors below the one he required, though the methane breather left its odour to accompany him the rest of the upward journey.

Outside the room Mr Crunch activated the key. As the door swung open he sprang into the room, the taser device gripped in his hand. The creature had its back to him. It started to turn.

"Where the hell have you be-"

The voice was cut off as Mr Crunch activated the taser, the force hitting the creature full in its ample torso. It howled and fell over onto the bed where it convulsed for a few seconds before becoming still.

Mr Crunch walked over and looked down at the creature. It slowly opened its eyes and stared back up at him.

"God," it said, "that was absolutely wonderful. And here was I ready to bite your head off… but you remembered."

"Of course I did, darling," said Mr Crunch. "Happy birthday."

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Further Recommendations

tkkk68: I love the plot of the story it’s so mesmerising and such a good book you would love to recommend it to my fellow freinds and the reason I gave that rating was because I want more people to read it and see what it’s like for others and their opinionLove 😘

amandalacy: I like to read stuff like this to get me ready for my boyfriend. It’s a good way to spice things up.

Lee Hodgson: Well you have a brilliant sense of humour. Your literally skills are brilliant. Your descriptions are enough to quickly give the scene before me and then wham! More excitement.Truly you are gifted with words and imagination.Thank you and Hurry....

Heavenly : Beautifully written.Well done author.

amahlemaf1: I loved this book it was amazing. I would recommend this book to my friends and this book was just amazing.

alisakazama34: Really sweet and nice story

madimatebogo7: I really liked how the story flow from the beginning it was really nice and it taught me what is a real love and how mothers really care about their babies the only think l hated here is that Leonard was suffering from cancer and he couldn't spend his last days with his wife and child

pattymeador225: Great little book

More Recommendations

Natalie Kane: Great short story.I really enjoyed reading it and loved the characters.Their love was evident and the writer did a fab job portraying this in a beautiful way.

Susana: Loved it!! Cried, laughed throughout the whole book!!

claudectc: Love the whole series ! Really well written and thought out!

Ally_kat: I read the next book first and when I realized this was a story I immediately had to get my hands on it! It's such a wonderful story and I liked how there wasn't a ton of drama and it was very realistic with feelings, how busy adults are and the. Simple struggles couples go through after moving i...

Geanina: Sweet story, love it

Patricia Foote: I like this book so far...I hope it keeps going...it needs more though

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