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Mr Crunch

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Summary

Mr Crunch was new in town and he was looking for a weapon that packed a solid punch.

Genre:
Scifi / Humor
Author:
David Viner
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
5.0
Age Rating:
13+

Short Story

Mr Crunch was new in town. Actually, he was new on planet.

He walked the streets, searching. After a couple of hours he found something in a back street that looked promising.

The shop sign said "Dag Strek, Licensed Armaments." As Mr Crunch pushed open the door the tinkle of a bell resulted in a "Be with you in a mo" response from a back room.

So he looked around at the goods on sale. Something on a shelf caught his eye. Perfect, he thought, pulling it down. His many fingers fitted the grip neatly and he noted that it was already fully charged.

Mr Crunch was grateful that the being that emerged from the shadows had its head and other appendages in the usual places. He hated communicating with strange forms – never being sure if he was looking them in the eye or possibly the rectum. Mr Crunch definitely preferred to look others in the eye and preferred those eyes to be located on or, at least, close to their heads.

"This," said Mr Crunch, waving the device under the shopkeeper's odour orifice. "How much?"

"Everything is negotiable," the shopkeeper responded.

"Indeed," said Mr Crunch, debating with himself where he would begin the haggle. "I will give you, hmm, 150 credits. It is rather old."

"Antique," the shopkeeper agreed, before adding, "and collectable. I could accept maybe as little as 500."

The haggle continued for a few minutes before Mr Crunch finally departed lighter to the tune of 295 credits and heavier by one Sinosian Electro-taser. He placed the device in a pouch within his outer clothing where his hand could become familiar with its shape and texture.

From another pouch he produced a key and used its locator function to lead him to the hotel. A short while later found him sharing an elevator with a couple of strange forms. He was relieved when they alighted several floors below the one he required, though the methane breather left its odour to accompany him the rest of the upward journey.

Outside the room Mr Crunch activated the key. As the door swung open he sprang into the room, the taser device gripped in his hand. The creature had its back to him. It started to turn.

"Where the hell have you be-"

The voice was cut off as Mr Crunch activated the taser, the force hitting the creature full in its ample torso. It howled and fell over onto the bed where it convulsed for a few seconds before becoming still.

Mr Crunch walked over and looked down at the creature. It slowly opened its eyes and stared back up at him.

"God," it said, "that was absolutely wonderful. And here was I ready to bite your head off… but you remembered."

"Of course I did, darling," said Mr Crunch. "Happy birthday."

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Further Recommendations

Phyllis: Your story was great. I enjoy your story flow. You have talent so keep it up. Watching for more of your work. Thank you!!

Aimy: Good read. Looking forward to the rest of the series.

Aimy: Awesome read! I loved the characters and could so see myself in them.

lunahh1995: Das Buch ist echt super geworden und wurde fast in einem Rutsch durchgelesen 😅Ich hab schon nen anderes Buch von der Autorin gelesen und mag ihren Schreibstil sehr.Werde auch noch andere Bücher von ihr lesen.Muss sagen rein von der Handlung etc wäre es sogar wert diese zu kaufen

Eliza Elizza: Cute Christmas story

Carly 12887: Loving it so far

Demonike: Ce qui m'a deplu d'abords c'etait de voir Lucie aller facilement envers QuinnCe qui m'a plu c'est l'épisode où Quinn lui disait qu'il l'aimait depuis longtemps, qui expliquerait ça facon d'agir.Je récomenderait à mes amiesJe sais pas pourquoi j'ai choisi cette note

Sylvia: Das war eine wunderschöne spannende Geschichte mit viel Herzschmerz.

Mandy: Das Buch ist gut geschrieben und spannend. Ich lese es bestimmt noch mal

More Recommendations

Tamara: Mir gefällt die Geschichte

Christina: This is a great start to a larger story.I hope the author decides to continue it further.

sharonharder4: Very nice story. Really enjoyed it. Thank you for the lack of gratuitous sex (eritica). Really liked how you portrayed love being about who a person is. Great read. :)

Kristin: Love the banter, makes me laugh out loud

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