January 10th, 1966
To be trapped inside this new, or should I rather say original shell, has both pros and cons. Unfortunately, at the moment, the disadvantages far outweigh the positive aspects. Yes, my eyesight, hearing and taste are superb. Of course, and most importantly, it is free of the disease that would have eventually and prematurely robbed me of my life. For these I am most grateful, but it is still a frustration to be so limited and handicapped by the extent of one’s physical competency.
Size and strength play a large part in what adults view as simple mundane tasks. To a child they can become formidable obstacles. To name but a few - unscrewing the wide lid from a sealed jar, obtaining objects on a high shelf and moving objects such as furniture around have now become mountainous challenges.
Not to mention the fact that the toilet seat is way too big for my tiny little arse!
And, hell, if my arse is small, my dick is minuscule! Well, I suppose in relation to the rest of my body it ain’t too bad.
I never had much interest in girls until my hormones started bubbling when I was around 12 or 13. But now that my older consciousness knows that there is more to a guy’s penis than piddling, I often get a hard-on looking at a good bit of female flesh.
More than a few times now I’ve had to help myself relieve the tension.
Thank goodness my hands are small too!
Shit! My gosh, I just realized that I’m still a virgin. This second life body of mine has yet to have the pleasure of actual sex!!!
Worse still, not only am I a prisoner of this mortal shell’s physical restrictions, but also of its current status. The extent of my world is the house and the back yard. Thank goodness my mother has no qualms about sending me down to the soda or grocery store by myself. To this end, I am constantly asking her if she needs anything. It may be uncommon for a child to request an errand, but some days I feel as though I’m going stir crazy being holed up around the house all day.
The most frustrating condition of my position is the fact that a child of 6, when not doing some trivial task for an adult, is expected to keep themselves occupied in playing with toys, games and occasionally friends of similar age and gender.
I obviously have no desire to pursue any of these activities, and desperately need some form of entertainment or recreation to pass the time. As I have already mentioned, the fact that I am supposedly incapable of reading, remains my greatest irritation, but as also mentioned, to this end I have taken to borrowing my parents’ books for the supposed purpose of constructing tunnels and bridges around my toy train set.
And finally, I am denied any true privacy by not having a key or sliding bolt to lock my bedroom door. I fear that any request in this regard would only raise my mother’s suspicions that I may be scheming to get up to something prohibited or underhanded behind my closed door.