s0phie0k would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

My time on Earth

By s0phie0k All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Scifi

John Trips Balls

While I was visiting the planet Earth, I was trying to experience a normal human existence as much as I could. I went to college, made friends. My best friend from college, a guy called John, asked me to be his flatmate when we graduated. Once he'd explained that this meant sharing a flat and nothing as sinister as I was thinking, I agreed. He knew that I wasn't human so it made sense to live with someone who understood and could help explain things to me.

A few years later, we met this girl. Her name was Lucy. John assured me she was strange, although most humans were strange to me so I hardly noticed. In time, she became my second best friend. I never understood the reason why they were the "best" of my friends, except, possibly, because they were my only friends. John became her mate. He tells me it makes him uncomfortable when I call him that but that's what he was so there you go. By this time I had a job as a waiter at a local restaurant. It wasn't hard mentally, but it gave me a chance to study humans without seeming odd.

John and Lucy had reservations at the restaurant that night. I had become accustomed enough to their behaviour to notice when they arrived that they were acting strange. John's pupils were dilated unnaturally, and he was staring around the room and swatting at the air. He kept talking to people who were not there or touching things no one else could see. Lucy was shaking with laughter and finding it hard to breathe.

I watched as they were shown to their table. I was their waiter. I headed for their table as soon as I could.

"John, what is the problem?" I asked, laying out menus.

"He...haha...he is...hahahah," Lucy tried several times to explain the situation but I eventually sensed that she wasn't going to get it out.

"Fascinating," I murmured as I walked away.

I watched them all night. I was trying to calculate the variables that had caused this change in behaviour for my friend. He didn't seem to be in any danger or pain so I felt free to watch him without intervention.

Throughout the night he continued to behave oddly. He picked up a spoon and held it very close to his eye before holding it at arms length and whispering to himself. He then dropped it, laughing hysterically. He tried sitting on his chair in a multiple of unusual ways, resulting in his falling off of it onto the floor several times. He ate all of the food on his plate, then all of the food on Lucys plate, then some food off of other customers' plates and some off of the waiters' trays. It was at this point that he was escorted from the premises, shouting "I have peed my pants, friends!" In pride.

Lucy watched all of these events shaking with laughter that was sometimes loud and sometimes silent but always occurring. When they were escorted out, she was holding a napkin, bent over and crying with laughter.

When I asked the next morning Lucy gave me an explanation that had the words "trippin' balls" and "magic mushrooms" and "bad batch" in them. But as I could make no sense of what she was saying I resolved to ask John as soon as he stopped emptying his stomach in the bathroom.

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Sara Huppman: My only pet peeve was that there were spelling errors. In one of the last chapters there was a mistake it said Melanie handed the hanky back to Chrystal. It was supposed to be Jess. Great book great plot. Didn't need some of the references to modern day culture like the line about frozen. If ther...

re8622: The Last Exodus quickly grabbed my attention. Almost as soon as I started reading the story, I couldn't put it down. I found that the ideas the author put forth were very thought provoking given the turmoil we have seen gradually rise over the last several years. I felt that I could understand th...

IllyrianFemale: I read this book over a week long period and it had me hooked. The main character Evie was well developed, and had a strong personality throughout the book. I really liked the story that this book had, normally I don’t like books like this but this one was different. The story flowed perfectly an...

Rita Kovács: It is a brilliant post-apocalyptic story, and there is a lot of work in it! Also, I'm really happy to see, it got published with all its seqences, because this story deserved it, it is wonderfully written, it's imaginative and original.

Drew C. Elyon: I've only read one chapter so far, but from what I've seen, this is steampunk at its best. The narrative flows so beautifully I could envision every scene in an almost cinematic fashion. I believe in the complexity of simplicity, and this story has that in its descriptions.

More Recommendations

greatbooks: Kudos for writing such a masterpiece. I would like to feature your Inkitt book for free to my list of newsletter subscribers. If that is alright by you then please email me at exzordersplrwso AT gmail.com to book your spot, thanks. Only 40 spots are left.

lailachupp04: THIS NEEDS TO BE PUBLISHED I MUST MUST MUST SHOW THIS BOOK TO EVERYONE I KNOW!!!!!!I WANT TO HAVE A COPY OF IT SO BAD!!! your book was amazing and so interesting especially describing Maggie's life it reminds me of my life

Chevonne Prinsloo: I loved this book.. I didn't want to stop reading it! just my kind of book... I really love how the plot of the story carries along. I hope there are more books to follow after this one! I like the way she describes how Rogue is feeling and the way she shows the emotions going through Rogu. I als...

Erica: La trama es muy interesante y original y eso ya dice muchísimo cuando todos tratan de triunfar con ideas ya trilladas.No puedo opinar en detalle sobre la gramática, porque a pesar de entender el inglés a la perfección, la falta de uso en cuanto a lectura y diálogo hacen que me maneje bastante mal...

ranaenana: Wonderful plot, great dystopian society, Orwellian, Huxley type. I like the different points of view, I would like a little more information on the characters, but I am only half way through. I am devouring it!!

Pablo Rojas: Love the story, at the end it is a western story, simple, yet giving hints and pieces of the situation that is happening all over ravencroft´s universe. easy to read and always keeping with the main stream story I want to keep reading about, Olafson´s adventures.

{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.