My time on Earth

By s0phie0k All Rights Reserved ©

Scifi / Humor

John Trips Balls

While I was visiting the planet Earth, I was trying to experience a normal human existence as much as I could. I went to college, made friends. My best friend from college, a guy called John, asked me to be his flatmate when we graduated. Once he'd explained that this meant sharing a flat and nothing as sinister as I was thinking, I agreed. He knew that I wasn't human so it made sense to live with someone who understood and could help explain things to me.

A few years later, we met this girl. Her name was Lucy. John assured me she was strange, although most humans were strange to me so I hardly noticed. In time, she became my second best friend. I never understood the reason why they were the "best" of my friends, except, possibly, because they were my only friends. John became her mate. He tells me it makes him uncomfortable when I call him that but that's what he was so there you go. By this time I had a job as a waiter at a local restaurant. It wasn't hard mentally, but it gave me a chance to study humans without seeming odd.

John and Lucy had reservations at the restaurant that night. I had become accustomed enough to their behaviour to notice when they arrived that they were acting strange. John's pupils were dilated unnaturally, and he was staring around the room and swatting at the air. He kept talking to people who were not there or touching things no one else could see. Lucy was shaking with laughter and finding it hard to breathe.

I watched as they were shown to their table. I was their waiter. I headed for their table as soon as I could.

"John, what is the problem?" I asked, laying out menus.

"He...haha...he is...hahahah," Lucy tried several times to explain the situation but I eventually sensed that she wasn't going to get it out.

"Fascinating," I murmured as I walked away.

I watched them all night. I was trying to calculate the variables that had caused this change in behaviour for my friend. He didn't seem to be in any danger or pain so I felt free to watch him without intervention.

Throughout the night he continued to behave oddly. He picked up a spoon and held it very close to his eye before holding it at arms length and whispering to himself. He then dropped it, laughing hysterically. He tried sitting on his chair in a multiple of unusual ways, resulting in his falling off of it onto the floor several times. He ate all of the food on his plate, then all of the food on Lucys plate, then some food off of other customers' plates and some off of the waiters' trays. It was at this point that he was escorted from the premises, shouting "I have peed my pants, friends!" In pride.

Lucy watched all of these events shaking with laughter that was sometimes loud and sometimes silent but always occurring. When they were escorted out, she was holding a napkin, bent over and crying with laughter.

When I asked the next morning Lucy gave me an explanation that had the words "trippin' balls" and "magic mushrooms" and "bad batch" in them. But as I could make no sense of what she was saying I resolved to ask John as soon as he stopped emptying his stomach in the bathroom.


Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Aishwarya: Loved it. Period. End of the line. I can't get over it. The trouble of getting over it. Oh my life...

eroneal2016: One of the best stories I have read in a long time!! It is everything you want and more! Wish there were more books like this.

zeenath kiyaz: It is well written

annanya Dobariyal: ' The Attraction Of Opposites' is quite a "cliche" story. However, adding of stuff like 'isn't this too cliche!' makes it a little less of it...there are expected turns in the story that we can predict. However, making a story that is predictable, interesting and readable is what is true talent. ...

natalialwilson2261: I really need a sequel this story was amazing

Yetunde Kasumu: Super cool.

Lavisha Parab: I liked the book. All of it, except the part where they put so much emphasis on how their faces are beautiful. Sculpted bodies is okay, but concentrating so much on faces and whether she had or not applied makeup is so stupid and clichéd. We're in the 21st century for god's sake

Nightshade: .......... love the book

More Recommendations

Taylor Knapp: The only reason I gave you a 4 at all is because of the few grammar issues. Other than that I think that this story was by far the best I've read.

bekkysmith500: Very interesting,i really enjoyed d first and now dis,

LJ_Gibson: I loved it, it kept me on edge the WHOLE TIME!!!!!! I am so ready for the next one! Do they both have twins?

Shasha Nao: The story plot is absolutely amazing!! Wren's personality is wonderful it's just that she needs to have more daily confidence, I feel like she'll be a more interesting character if she has like a deep side about her, or something in the past that she didn't want anyone to know. But overall, I abs...

Patrick Killer instinct: Soooooooooooooo funny

Stargazer : Easton and mallory are sooososossocciuuuutteteee I CANT WAIT PLEASE NEED AN UPDATE!!11

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.