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My time on Earth

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Summary

A collection of short adventures taken by the humanoid alien who goes by the name of Jeb. Here to experience the human way of life, Jeb uses the help of his human friend John to do it right.

Genre:
Scifi / Humor
Author:
s0phie0k
Status:
Ongoing
Chapters:
3
Rating:
5.0
Age Rating:
16+

John Trips Balls

While I was visiting the planet Earth, I was trying to experience a normal human existence as much as I could. I went to college, made friends. My best friend from college, a guy called John, asked me to be his flatmate when we graduated. Once he'd explained that this meant sharing a flat and nothing as sinister as I was thinking, I agreed. He knew that I wasn't human so it made sense to live with someone who understood and could help explain things to me.

A few years later, we met this girl. Her name was Lucy. John assured me she was strange, although most humans were strange to me so I hardly noticed. In time, she became my second best friend. I never understood the reason why they were the "best" of my friends, except, possibly, because they were my only friends. John became her mate. He tells me it makes him uncomfortable when I call him that but that's what he was so there you go. By this time I had a job as a waiter at a local restaurant. It wasn't hard mentally, but it gave me a chance to study humans without seeming odd.

John and Lucy had reservations at the restaurant that night. I had become accustomed enough to their behaviour to notice when they arrived that they were acting strange. John's pupils were dilated unnaturally, and he was staring around the room and swatting at the air. He kept talking to people who were not there or touching things no one else could see. Lucy was shaking with laughter and finding it hard to breathe.

I watched as they were shown to their table. I was their waiter. I headed for their table as soon as I could.

"John, what is the problem?" I asked, laying out menus.

"He...haha...he is...hahahah," Lucy tried several times to explain the situation but I eventually sensed that she wasn't going to get it out.

"Fascinating," I murmured as I walked away.

I watched them all night. I was trying to calculate the variables that had caused this change in behaviour for my friend. He didn't seem to be in any danger or pain so I felt free to watch him without intervention.

Throughout the night he continued to behave oddly. He picked up a spoon and held it very close to his eye before holding it at arms length and whispering to himself. He then dropped it, laughing hysterically. He tried sitting on his chair in a multiple of unusual ways, resulting in his falling off of it onto the floor several times. He ate all of the food on his plate, then all of the food on Lucys plate, then some food off of other customers' plates and some off of the waiters' trays. It was at this point that he was escorted from the premises, shouting "I have peed my pants, friends!" In pride.

Lucy watched all of these events shaking with laughter that was sometimes loud and sometimes silent but always occurring. When they were escorted out, she was holding a napkin, bent over and crying with laughter.

When I asked the next morning Lucy gave me an explanation that had the words "trippin' balls" and "magic mushrooms" and "bad batch" in them. But as I could make no sense of what she was saying I resolved to ask John as soon as he stopped emptying his stomach in the bathroom.


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Further Recommendations

Aimy: Good read. Looking forward to the rest of the series.

Ruth: Good heart-warming romance story!

Ann: Great story I read it while in the ER in hospital

Eliza Elizza: Cute Christmas story

Gurleen Benipal: You could have worded some things better. It's a cute story though! The main characters are cute together and definitely suit each other. There are little grammar mistakes so you did a decent job overall! Love how easy the story is to read and it's not boring at all. Definitely recommend reading ...

Melanie: Ich habe dieses Buch geliebt und direkt in einer Nacht durchgelesen, da es so toll geschrieben wurde und ich mich so sehr in die Geschichte rein versetzen konnte, dass an Schlaf überhaupt nicht zu denken war. Auch wie Juna so selbstironisch über sich denkt, finde ich wirklich toll und ich habe Tr...

Christina: This is a great start to a larger story.I hope the author decides to continue it further.

jodiedigg: Love it, it gets better with every reread. Can't wait for the next update. I've been following this and other of your stories for years.

More Recommendations

sharonharder4: Very nice story. Really enjoyed it. Thank you for the lack of gratuitous sex (eritica). Really liked how you portrayed love being about who a person is. Great read. :)

Ann: Very good story. Interesting characters are enjoyable I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Hope to see more good job. Keep it up.

Alondra: El libro me encanta de principio a fin, es de mis favoritos de la autora y simplemente es una gran secuela, se lo recomendaría a todos, cualquiera que haya pasado por un momento muy difícil se podría identificar

kmcsquiggles: Was hoping there would be more to the story, pity it was so short. Enjoyable read though, thank you.

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