My time on Earth

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John Leaves a Tie

Back when John and I attended college together, I came back to our room one night to find a tie on the door handle. That was not where John usually kept his ties but it could have been a custom I didn't know. Still it was odd. I walked in to find John and a naked female I didn't know on his bed.

"Hello John," I said, not noticing anything was amiss. I walked over to my desk and pulled out my textbooks. "I'm just going to study and then I will be going to sleep."

"Dude!" John and the girl were hastily covering themselves with the bed sheets.

"Yes?" I stared at them, fascinated. If they were to mate, how were they going to do it with sheets wrapped around themselves. I said as much to John. His face flushed bright red and he asked me to accompany him outside.

"What is wrong with you?! Didn't you see the tie?! I left the tie purposely so that this wouldn't happen!" He seemed very angry.

"I thought it was an odd place to hang a tie," I said perplexed.

"It was there so you would know to go away for a little while so I could...ya'know!"

"Mate with the female? Is my presence a hindrance?" Back on my planet we just accepted mating as a part of life.

"Yes your "presence is a hindrance." Why do you talk like that?" He eyed me.

He had been getting suspicious for weeks before this incidence. No matter how careful I was I seemed to make mistakes. I was too 'abrupt', too 'emotionless', too 'naked and inappropriate'.

I decided I'd better tell him something before he reported me. I'd seen the moving pictures about aliens on this planet. I would prefer that my organs stayed inside my form and that my head remain attached.

But would John turn me in? Would he be the one to get me experimented on and dissected?

I liked John. I liked to think he wouldn't tell anyone. I decided to tell him the truth.

It only took half an Earth day to get him to 'come to grips' with what I was. I had to provide proof and then he smoked something called a joint and asked me a bunch of questions. Once I assured him I wasn't a threat or going to 'probe' him in his sleep, he passed out. I checked he was still alive.

Under our agreement he still hasn't turned me in to the government and I haven't probed him in his sleep. (I researched that, and have no idea why humans would come to this conclusion. Why would we want to perform rectal examinations? John won't answer me.)


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