Roomates: Part 1
Location: Icarus, third planet of the binary star system Gemini.
Year: Roughly 10,000 AC.
It was a fairly normal day for Rahool P’kank, a Vaalation of roughly three feet in height. He lived with his roommate, a Human Lawyer named Richard ‘Fozzie’ Madsinn. Rahool works as a blogger of sorts, posting videos of himself on the Alphanet that had him pose as Richard’s pet penguin, and articles on any weird things that he has seen. Whereas Richard was modestly successful in the business of public defense… the one downside is that he had an addiction to an alien drug call Saal’qurakis. Among the Ulagraag it is simply an over the counter drug used for vitamin deficiency. In Humans however, it causes odd hallucinations, and for them to say strange non sequiturs.
Anyway, one day Rahool was sitting around his apartment, eating out of a box of anchovies. The doorbell rang, and Rahool got up to check the door, expecting the new roommate. He opened the door, and saw a young women that he assumed was a Y’l-Naka, she had black hair, green eyes, and silver skin. She wore a grey shirt, grey skirt, black boots, and fingerless gloves that went up to her elbows. “You Elizabeth?” Rahool asked. “Yes, I came about the vacancy.” She asked, her voice had a distinct accent. “Can you pay your part of the rent? It’s about one-thousand credits a month, when the landlord isn’t in a bad mood.” Explained Rahool. “I think I can manage.” Elizabeth said.
“You got a job?” Rahool asked. “Well… not right now, but I can get some work.” Elizabeth said. “I see, well your unemployed but… well you see Richard needs Human contact and… well you’re a Y’l-Naka but-”
“Actually I’m not a Y’l-Naka, I’m just an android, made by Humans with no biological material at all.” Elizabeth admitted. “Oh… well anyway Richard needs Human contact and… well you’re a robot but I’ll take what I can get for my drug addled roommate.” Said Rahool. “Your roommate is on drugs?” Elizabeth asked. “Saal’qurakis, Ulagraag vitamins, I have no idea when he started taking them, but whenever I try to hide them he always finds them. Even that time I tried hiding them with the Eviscerating Squids at the aquarium, I still don’t know how he survived those cephalopods in the first place.”
“Well where is he?” Elizabeth asked. “He’s at work; in the meantime though get yourself settled in. Who knows, maybe we can find you a job sometime this week.” Rahool said, Elizabeth looked cautiously optimistic at the Vaalation. “So… mind telling me a little more about you?” Rahool asked. “Well… I can do this.” She said, she then turned into a hover cycle, then into a star fighter, and then back into her normal form. “And I can also project holograms.” She said, creating holographic musical notes and a duplicate of herself.
“Well… that’s neat.” Rahool said sounding almost completely disinterested in her display. “Anyway, we got a spare bedroom if you want it; also if you need to eat food I think there’s left over pizza in the fridge, if you need to recharge I think we have an extension cord in the closet somewhere.” Rahool said. “I need to recharge, just about any sort of plug will do for me.”
Later that day Richard was home, he was wearing a beige suit and wore giant aviator glasses and a straw hat. “Rahool, I’m home, and I got your favorite!” He said, holding up a bag with a large stain on the bottom. “That’s great; you got me deep fried fish. Now there’s someone I want you to meet.” Rahool said. “Is it a duck? A tapir? An okapi? A sentient nebula?” Richard said. “No, no, and those aren’t real. The ah… well the person in question is the bathroom, you should go and see the new person.” Rahool said. “Okay… it isn’t a bat or something? You know I hate bats, bats are evil and drink blood.” Richard said looking fidgety and suspicious. “You know I wouldn’t let bats into the apartment, not after what happened last time.”
Then Elizabeth exited the bathroom, wearing only a towel, and another towel covering her hair. “I’m out of the shower, now- oh crumb!” She said as she realized she wasn’t dressed before the two of them, and darted back into the bathroom. “Who was that?” Richard asked. “That was our new roommate.” Rahool said. “Why was she naked?” Richard asked. “Apparently she needs to shower like everyone else, did not see that coming to be perfectly honest.” Rahool said.
“Why was she a-”
“Before you say it she isn’t a Y’l-Naka, she’s apparently just a robot.” Rahool said.
“Oh, well can she-”
“Well not now but we’ll work on finding her a job soon enough so she can pay rent.” Rahool said. “That’s not what I was asking; can she fix the melting walls?” Richard said, referring to his most common hallucination of the walls looking as if there melting. “I’ve been calling repair service after repair service for years and not a one of them thinks that melting walls is a problem or real at all.” Richard said. “You also think I turn into a Kangaroo on Sunday’s.” Rahool said sarcastically. “Why do you keep doing that anyway? You gain nothing by being a SPATULA REINDEER MONKEYS ARE IN THE PANTRY Kangaroo.” Richard said, as normal Rahool had no idea why he said such a bizarre statement.
“Well anyway, she’s here because I need someone to keep me company when you’re at work, and maybe to keep you slightly saner than usual. Also you’ve been spending a good portion of your paycheck on your addiction to alien vitamins, so we need someone to add to our revenue.” Rahool said, then Elizabeth exited the bathroom, now fully clothed. “Sorry about all that, so you must be Richard.” Elizabeth said to the eccentrically dressed lawyer. “And you must be THERE IS A CHICKEN IN LEDERHOSEN DANCING ON THE COUNTER! Elizabeth.” Richard shouted.
“Is he always like this?” Elizabeth asked concerned. “No, this is first time I’ve heard him shout about chickens. Usually he says it’s just the lederhosen dancing by itself.” Rahool said dismissively. “Huh… you know I can’t help but feel I’ve seen you somewhere before.” Richard said to Elizabeth. “You may have.” Elizabeth said, referring to her past career as a singer. “You brought any food for us?” Richard asked her, completely ignoring what he just asked Elizabeth. “What? Actually I did, I got some groceries from an ‘Outpost Johns’. They got all sorts of food for both Humans and Valations.” Elizabeth said as she pulled out several bags and boxes of food from a bag she had brought into the Apartment.
“See I told you that getting a robot roommate was a good idea.” Richard said taking a bag of chips. “Richard you never even suggested getting a roommate- never mind, you’re so Ig’zadian from that Saal’qurakis I’m astonished you can even hold down a job period.” Rahool said as he ate out of the takeout fish bag. “Glad I’ve already got a place here.” Elizabeth said happily. “Just remember, later on were going to go job hunting for you.” Rahool said in-between shoving deep-fried fish into his beak.