Happy-Go-Lucky-Land: Part 2
Daniel Lionblood, the CEO of the Eden Solaris Entertainment Corporation. Sat down for an interview regarding his newly announced amusement park, Happy-Go-Lucky-Land, with ESNN, the Eden Solaris News Network. “Welcome to ESNN, I’m Tulip Hauser. Tonight, I’ll be interviewing the CEO of the Eden Solaris Entertainment Corporation, Daniel Lionblood, regarding the recently announced amusement park, Happy-Go-Lucky-Land. Mr. Lionblood, could you tell us more about this park?” Asked the human interviewer. “Well for starters, Happy-Go-Lucky-Land is a working name for the place. We haven’t come up with a concrete name for it yet. We do have a few ideas, but I’m not privy to share them right now.” Daniel explained.
“I see. Now what attractions will this park have exactly?” Asked the interviewer. “Well it will obviously have all of the standard attractions. Roller coasters, water rides, Ferris wheels, VR towers, and we’ll also be including a zoo!” Daniel said. “I see, now I’ve heard that the park will be built on a ring station. Why is that?” Asked the interviewer. “Well, for one thing our company has the resources to build one from scratch. For another thing it would be a unique destination, no ifs and or buts about it. Also there are laws about how big an amusement park can be on planets across the sector, so I thought that it would be easier to make a giant space station from scratch and put the park on that.” Daniel explained.
“Can your company afford such an expense?” Asked the interviewer. “Of course, we’ve hired out the Y’l-Naka to help in building the station.” Daniel explained. “So your basically using robotic slave labor to build this park?” Asked the interviewer. “What? No? There being paid. It’s just that it’s significantly less than if organic workers were paid.” Daniel said. “Will they build the entire park?” Asked the interviewer. “No, the Y’l-Naka will be responsible for building the main structure of the ring station. The actual park itself will be built by Human, Vaalation and Ulagraag architects. I want to give the attractions of my park a sense of diversity to them, and attract more than just Human attendees.” Daniel explained.
“I see, tell me Mr. Lionblood. When do you think Happy-Go-Lucky-Land will be finished?” Asked the interviewer. “In a word… a couple years give or take. I haven’t gotten the estimation numbers down.” Daniel explained, the interview went on like this for several minutes. Ending rather abruptly when Tulip asked if he wanted to go on a date with her. “End simulation!” Said Chloe as the holographic interview disintegrated. “So how did I do Chloe?” Daniel asked his robot assistant. “Well you did better than last time. You didn’t flub any of your answers, but you all but exploded when the hologram asked you out.” Chloe said. “What makes you even think that will happen?” Daniel said indignantly.
“Experience, mainly because the last time a reporter asked you out you all but screamed for her to leave you alone.” Chloe said. “Okay that’s a bad example on my part. But I didn’t even know her!” Daniel said. “Still, you might as well prepare for the possibility. Just say no to flirty reporters, and get on with the day.” Chloe said. “I know I should, but it’s just so annoying when it just keeps happening over and over.” Daniel said in frustration. “I know sir, but trust me when I say that the more we practice for this big interview the better.” Chloe said. “Well, alright. We’re going to keep trying until I can get this right.”
Several days later the interview that Daniel so dreaded was underway, apart from the fact that the interviewer Tulip Hauser looked like his grandmother he explained the details regarding Happy-Go-Lucky-Land. “So, how did I do Chloe?” Daniel asked his robot friend. “Well from a scale from 1 to 10, I’d say that you scored… a perfect!” Chloe said happily. “Thank the stars, but did you know that Tulip was actually a crone? How has no one known this before?” Daniel asked. “It’s some software that hides her wrinkles and changes the sound of her voice in order to sound younger.” Chloe explained. “I mean I know we have advanced medical technology. But come on, she should at least have been in an retirement home for the last… how old is that women anyway?” Daniel asked. “From what I do know about her she’s been a part of ESNN for the last three-hundred years and-”
“Three-hundred years?! Seriously? Even with our medical knowledge that woman should at least not look like a pale mutant prune.” Daniel said in surprise. “I know sir, I know. But that procedure is REALLY expensive. Doesn’t explain why she hasn’t taken such a thing. But I feel you’re getting off track for no apparent reason.” Chloe pointed out. “Right, sorry I just couldn’t help but think about… well anyway. Do you have any word on the progress on the ring station?” Daniel asked as the two arrived at a personal space shuttle. “The Y’l-Naka have reported that the station is at about thirty-seven percent complete, and that the park itself will be done in about five months.” Chloe explained.
“So we’re ahead of schedule then? Let the attraction designer people whose proper job title I can’t remember right now, that they’re going to have to bump up there time table.” Daniel said. “Already relayed sir, next on the projects criteria is a proper name for the park.” Chloe said. “Well that will be fun. I mean everyone is calling the park by its working name, I think the hard part won’t be finding a name that people will remember. But getting them to call it something other than that, the name just sounds completely ridiculous.” Said Daniel.
Several hours later the two returned to Invictus, and Daniel was entering a meeting with the company’s marketing department. “Alright people, I need a good name for Happy-Go-Lucky-Land, and after that fiasco with Sigmund the Screaming Goat. I’m going to keep a close eye on each and every one of you if you try to go behind my back.” Daniel said to the marketing committee. “Okay… how about Ringworld?” Said a marketing person. “Sounds like a good to me… but it sounds like something we could get sued over. Next name?” Daniel said
“I’m thinking Utopia Land II.” Said another marketing person. “Don’t be ridiculous. This park is Utopia Land’s successor in name only anyway. I’m not calling it that.” Said Daniel. “Inverted Horizon Park?” Said another ad man.
“The Space Wheel?”
“The Hula Hoop?”
“The Cosmic Potato Peeler?”
“You’re not even trying at this point!” Daniel said in frustration. The meeting went on like this for several hours, the ad men throwing names around that were either inappropriate for a theme park of any kind, or were completely unrelated to the matter at hand. “ENOUGH!” Daniel shouted as he stormed out of the meeting room. “Sir? What happened in there?” Asked Chloe. “Fire our entire marketing department, and hire new ad men. Preferably ones that have imaginations.” Daniel said in frustration. “Understood sir, I take it that you haven’t been able to think of a proper name for Happy-Go-Lucky-Land?” Chloe asked.
“Honestly Chloe, I could have sworn that they were better at their jobs. At this point, I think it would just be better to just call the park Happy-Go-Lucky-Land. If only to remove an annoying step in this development.” Daniel said. “Just calm down Dan, we’ll figure something out. We always have, in the meantime the work day is over and you have pretty much nothing better to do.” Chloe said happily. “You mean… I don’t have to do any work tonight?” Daniel said excitedly. “Yep, so it’s game night kiddo.” Chloe said as the two of them went off home.