❝The people who consider you weak, have not yet noticed the wolf hiding behind your eyes.❞
The coffin was made from things of the forest, sticks and twigs created the base and were tied together to make the make-shift covering that came together to a point to make the traditional coffin; leaves and wildflowers decorated all around it, giving it its natural beauty.
He lied in the middle of it all, peaceful as ever, pale like the snow that covered the ground as his hands overlapped each other, resting on his stomach; I had no more tears to shed, no more words to say, and nothing more to feel, I was nothing but a shell.
“I didn’t catch your name.”
My gaze lingered on the little girl who was none other than Noah’s sister, she stood by a woman with dark brown hair that was in a disarray, eyes welling with tears as she clutches onto the child that clings to her leg.
“Noah,” came his stammered reply, through ragged breathing. “My name’s N-Noah Ross.”
A tear slides down the curve of my cheek, Xavier was there to wipe it away and pull me against his side, showing me he was there. Logan stands in front of the crowd, his own eyes darken with his emotions, speaking softly.
“Noah Lee Ross was an extraordinary wolf that achieved in every subject,” he starts off, “He dreamed of going out into the world and making a difference, though taken from us so young, he’s in the hands of the goddess now and forever will be a hero.”
He turns to the woman and the little girl and gestures for them to come forth, they slowly trend their way through people and by his side— I could only pin the woman as the mother of Noah, some of the feature on his the same on her.
She sucked in a deep breath, wiping her hands down her shirt before speaking out.
“My boy was a sweet young man, a bright soul he was, he was fascinated by the thought of building houses since he was a young pup. . .” a breathless laugh escapes her, one of her hands coming up to wipe at her eyes.
“Noah— ” she cuts of herself off, clearing her throat. “Noah didn’t have many friends which I didn’t understand, he was like a little ball of light once you get past his shyness, my baby was nothing more than someone who wanted to help and save others rather himself,” her gaze cuts over to mine.
“And he did just that.”
She excused herself and moved back to where she once stood, the people she passed by touching her with comforting touches. Logan takes his place in front of his people and gestures to men off to the side to come forward and lower Noah into his burial area.
It wasn’t until they began to lower him into the ground did the tears start coming, with a blank expression, they created a path down my face as I watched the men lower him deeper into the ground.
“Mommy, what are they doing?” a small voice cuts through the silence, “They can’t do that, what if Noah wakes up?”
Noah’s mother seemed to be holding back tears but was failing as she rubbed the little girls back.
“It’s okay, baby, Noah is taking a much-needed nap.”
“But Mommy, Noah promised he was going to play with me, they can’t do that, they can’t.”
The mother puts a hand over her mouth to stop the sobs that desperately wanted to leak out as the little girl starts tugging on her hand, her own eyes filling with tears as she watches her brother be put to rest not knowing he was never to wake again.
I lingered near the dirt patch, staring down at the what finally sealed the end of Noah’s life, lost in my thoughts, a haze falls over my sight. I didn’t move from the spot until fingers brushed against my forearm, only did I break my gaze away and stare up at Xavier as he hovers beside me.
“It’s time to go,” he utters, voice deep.
I nod, letting him pull me away and in the direction of the packhouse, I couldn’t go back home, not when so many painful members now drenched it inside and out. I relied on the sparks that ran up and down my arm from Xavier’s touch like a voltage shock, they kept me above the dark waters that washed and crashed against my control.
I look over my shoulder to see Noah’s mother catching up while holding her daughters’ hand and gently tugging her along, I come to a full stop once she’s closer. She halts in front of me, centimeters shorter than I and looks me dead in the eye.
“Tell me what happened,” she breathes out, eyes searching mine, “tell me the truth of what happened to my baby. I need to know.” she pleads, tears already starting to form in her eyes.
I look her over, identifying the same exhaustion in her stance that also consumes mine, my gaze flickers down to the little girl hiding behind her leg and clutching tightly to her hand. Her wide red-rimmed eyes stare up at me, innocence shining within.
“The arrow was meant for me,” I speak, slowly shifting my eyes back towards the mother, she stares on with watery eyes.
“That arrow was meant to end my life, yet, he stepped in front of me, risking his.”
Thinking I didn’t have any more tears to shed, one lone tear glides down the curve of my cheek, slowly. The mother blinks slowly up at me, the wind bristling her hair into her face, gentle fingers brush the strands back as she nods her head.
“I see,” she blinks rapidly, averting her eyes away from mine to look down at the girl hugging her leg.
She rubs her back and gives her an unsteady smile before turning her attention back to me.
“Thank you, for being the friend my son needed, even if it was for only a short time.”
As I look into the eyes of a broken mother who lost her firstborn, I start to think if I would still be looking at the same woman if I hadn’t met Noah.
With words stuck in my throat, I give her a small smile, nodding in acknowledgment; as a parting she dips her head slightly before shuffling away, my eyes following the broken family. Deep breathes pass through my being, stuttering past my lips before I’m able to turn away, my back to the grave that holds someone stronger than myself.
Xavier and I walk towards the car in silence, nothing more to say, scream, or cry about, he was gone and there was nothing that would bring him back. Xavier opens the door for me, moving to the side as I slide in the seat before he reaches around me to buckle me up, freezing a few inches from my face. One of his hands rested on my thigh, even though we were the same body temperature now, I could feel the warmth from his hand seeping into my jeans.
“I hate seeing you like this,” he mumbles, breath fanning over my lips, eyes sweeping across my features.
I force the smallest of smiles on my face for him, though that action was harder than it looked, I tried to reassure him with my eyes for what my smile deceived.
“It’s okay, I’m fine.”
He doesn’t seem to believe a word I said and I didn’t expect him to, it was more like the words were meant to reassure myself and stop me from sinking deeper into the bottomless pit that had my name written all over it. Xavier’s free hand comes up and cups the side of my face, I lean into his touch, staring into his eyes as he did me, he brushes his lips against mine before moving to the side and grazing his mark.
A shudder passes through me, my thoughts blanking out at the intense shot of pleasure that overrides my system, it causes my insides to clench and my legs to squeeze tighter together to stop the throb that began to pulse. Xavier moves away before I could actually react and shuts the door, moving around to the driver’s side, the moment he’s in the car we’re pulling out onto the road towards the packhouse.
London and I don’t live in the house anymore. I couldn’t bear to stay another day, too many memories, the good and the bad, all reminding me of what I had lost and can never gain back. It was too cold, empty, and hard to live in, the walls were closing in on me; all saturated in the past and made me relive every waking moment.
I blinked, snapping out of my thoughts, finally glancing around to see that the car had stopped and we were parked outside of the manor. Specs of snow we falling in a light drizzle, a layer dropping onto the small amount that was the ground, I turn to stare at Xavier who stares back with a slight smile.
Sighing, I open the door and step out, and walk the short length to the front door that was already open. It was quiet, the crackle of the fire from inside the living room reaching my ears, no soul was seen in sight, everyone retreated to their rooms. I walked further inside, the snow that had fallen on me, melting as I take off my cart and putting it where it belonged.
I don’t wait for Xavier when the sound of the door closing with this echoes, I make my way to the steps, exhaustion but one destination set in mind. My feet thump against the carpet steps up to the second floor, and I follow the path to the nursery nearly stopping in my stopping in my tracks when I come to see the door partially open as someone stood over the crib.
Mason turned to the sound of the door hinges creaking, he looks surprised at the sight of me before his face relaxes into a smile, turning his attention back to the crib. His arms and one of his legs were wrapped in bandages after getting hurt during the attack. I walk inside the room, decorated especially for London, and joined Mason, standing beside him to watch over our brother.
He was fast asleep, dressed in a onesie with a black drawn bowtie bear the neckline with the words ‘ladies, I have arrived’ beneath it. I couldn’t help the smile tugging at my lips, I reached inside and grasped his closed fist, caressing the soft skin.
“I remember when you were this small,” Mason says, “I was so excited, finally being able to have a reason to be called a big brother and to protect someone of my own.”
I don’t spare a look his way and continue to gaze down at London as he shifts in his sleep.
“I promised myself that I would protect you from everything, and never let anything hurt you,” he goes on, regret clear in his voice. “But in the end, I was the one that hurt you.”
The smallest of sighs escape my mouth as I finally turn to look Mason in the eye, the same eyes we share. His eyebrows were pulled down in a sad frown.
“I’m sorry, Abigail.”
I surprised both of us when I reach out and wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him, the first physical contact after seven years apart. I don’t say anything in return, my actions speaking louder than my words ever could. With a little hesitation, Mason hugs me back, pressing me against his body, wrapping me in the warm protective barrier only a brother could give off; cherishing the contact.
The flash of fangs and the spray of blood flicker in front of my eyes, my claws tearing into the bodies of wolves, my fingers coated in their blood. The metallic taste of blood lingers on the tongue as I rip into the throats of the vampires, their cry of pains echoing in my ears.
Their smiles flash within sight, haunting me to the depths of my being, reminding me of what I failed to protect and the outcome of it. Mom pops up, laying against the wall, eyes dull and sitting in her own puddle of blood, pale as a sheet of paper; Noah’s image pushes hers out of the way, his eyes staring at the sky above, the arrow still piercing his heart.
His eyes looking on in a daze, right into mind, screaming what his mouth couldn’t.
‘It’s your fault.’
Someone was shaking me awake, calling my name, pulling me from the waters of my dream. My eyes snap open, everything blurry and watery at first before it clears and I’m staring into deep brown eyes.
“Are you all right?!” Xavier asks, holding his weight above me, voice filled with anxiousness.
A dam seems to burst, tears beginning to flood from my eyes down my face in a stream, Xavier’s faces crumble as he reaches for me and pulls me into his lap and against his chest; where he cradles me, rocking me.
“It’s all right, it was just a dream,” he whispers, stroking my hair and pressing light kisses to my forehead. “I’m here.”
It takes me a few minutes before I get to calm down, my heart still heavy and throbbing in pain, my only distraction from the dark web was Xavier. The way his fingers caressed my arm made the tingles dance across my skin, tiny bolts of pleasure zapping my system alive. My eyes drift open, wet lashes parting way for me stare up into his eyes that stared down at me softly, with love and adoration.
“You okay, now?” he questions, searching my face, wiping away the remaining tears.
I don’t answer, no words forming, I study his face, strands of his hair falling into his eyes, the structure of his jaw, the shape of his nose, the fullness of his nose and the way his lips puckered out without him trying. Before I knew it, my arm was coming up to intertwine my fingers in the hair at the name of his neck and lower his face closer towards mine.
Our lips connect, coaxing one another into a sweet dance that speeds up in pace, the steps growing quicker to the beat of the music— our hearts, beating in unison. The kiss grew fierce, my tongue probing the seams of his mouth, wanting entrance to deepen the passion that slowly consumes me. Xavier removes me from his lap before laying my head on the pillows, lips still pressed against mine while hovering above me; the position gave me a thrill, my hands frantic over his upper half.
My teeth sink into his bottom lip, tugging and pulling it into my mouth, enjoying the taste of him, his smell overwhelming my senses. Xavier’s growl of pure arousal vibrates through me and down to my core as he pushes his hard body against mine, my legs spreading for him to rest comfortably against me, the edge of my shirt riding up to reveal the edge of my underwear.
We were breathing each other’s air, being as close as we could, the heat of our bodies feeling like a burning furnace, the sparks were in overdrive; the dream long is forgotten and nothing but the yearning to remove our clothing and forget the pain that’s always with me.
My fingers were pulling the hem of his shirt up and over his back, flinging the material away. I could feel him through his soft shorts, hard, throbbing and ready, a small moan escaping my lips as I lift my hips for the friction my center cried out for. I was stopped short when he pulled away before contact and sat up.
“No,” he rasps, breathing heavily, “We can’t. Not like this, Abigail.”
My hands glide across his chest and lower to his stomach, the light from the moon that shines from the windows hits his chest and making him more beautiful than he already was. He grits his teeth as my nails scratch along his skin, soon, he yanks my hands from his chest and pins them beside my head.
“Abigail,” he growls, his body trembling above mine, fingers curling tighter around my wrist. “Don’t. I’m trying my hardest—”
“I need this, Xavier please,” frustration pouring into my veins, “I need you.”
The strain he was putting on himself from doing what he wanted with me was impressive, but I didn’t want him to, I want him to overwhelm me in the throes of pleasure until I couldn’t think, breathe, or speak without him. I wanted to forget, forget all that has happened, just for a night before I’m thrust into the hardships of reality once more.
“Please,” I beg once more, eyes burning and hips rising to meet his. “Make me forget, for tonight, I can’t handle anymore.”
It may seem wrong, using sëx, our first time together to make me forget the ache in my chest that clings onto me but there was no other way— the guilt was eating me alive. I got my answer when he dipped down, breaking free from his own restraints and claimed my mouth in a heated kiss, his tongue pushing past my lips and stroking my own.
A moan of relief was muffled by his lips, my body shivering in pleasure when his rough hands skim down my sides and reach to my legs, curling them around his hips. Xavier presses his hips firmly against mine, his èrection rubbing against my covered core.
He tears his lips away from mine, peppering hot, wet kisses along the column of my neck. We were a jumble of limbs, clothes coming off piece by piece and hands reaching to touch the skin that was rapidly being unveiled to our eyes for the first time, soon we were naked, feeling the friction of our bare skins rubbing against each other. The sparks were in overdrive, buzzing, zapping and crackling beneath the surface like charged energy.
A sharp moan exhales past my lips at the feel of something hot and wet closing over my left nīpple. My hand shoots up and tangles in Xavier’s hair, pressing him more against my breast as his tongue flicks back and forth against my nïpple, his hand fondling with the other breast. My core tingles, becoming a stick with wetness as I wiggle about, mouth parted in silent moans, I could feel him resting on my thigh, hot, hard and throbbing.
Popping my nïpple from his mouth, I feel Xavier’s hand trail down the surface of my stomach, inching closer to my core. Deep breathes shake my being, anticipating the touch of his fingers— I nearly jump out of my skin when his fingers brush that sensitive bundle of nerves that caused my legs to jerk and a moan to tear from my mouth.
I could feel Xavier’s eyes feasting on my expressions, my teeth sinking into my lip to keep the volume of my sounds at a minimum, the fear of waking others present at the back of my mind. His fingers rub the ball in a circle, my nerves twitching and the never-ending moans flowing from my mouth no matter how hard I tried to stop them.
Xavier’s chest rumbles with a lustful growl, “That’s it. Let me hear you,” his voice was rugged and sounded out of control.
A pinch of pain zaps at my senses as he slides a finger inside me, a slow burn following in suit. My eyebrows crunch together in discomfort that soon fades as he slides another inside, keeping still beside his thumb that’s rubbing rapidly at my clît.
“Ah!” I gasp, my hands forming into a fist, the two fingers within me sliding out then back in, slowly.
He continues to stretch me, replacing the discomfort I feel in my stomach with pleasure with the stimulation to my clît, I don’t know how long he does this for before I feel him slip in another finger making it three in total. I feel full, stretched, while gasping for air, a ball tightening in the pit of my stomach.
He was bringing me higher and higher than low, keeping me on the brink of madness, pleas for him to release me and give me the bliss my body craves. I didn’t have it in me to even feel embarrassed at the sounds that emit from my vaginà, I felt hot and needy, once again being stopped from reaching my peak.
Suddenly his fingers were gone, leaving me empty and throbbing to be filled again, my lips part to protest before he was on me again. His lips find mine with aggression, lust fueling his actions, his fingers rough while spreading my legs farther apart. The girth of his tip probing my entrance, sliding an inch or two inside me.
I couldn’t help the wince, squinting my eyes, gritting my teeth. He doesn’t move, just holding himself above, though I could feel the tension in his muscles. He was much bigger than his finger, stretching me farther than they could.
“Abigail, look at me,” he speaks.
I take a few deep breathes before I could part my eyes, our gazes collide and at that moment he thrusts the rest of his length inside me in a fluid motion. My scream shatters the air not caring about waking up anyone, my hands flying to grasp Xavier’s forearms: my nails digging into the skin, he pulls out and pushes back in slowly, creating a slow rhythm that didn’t hurt me.
Soft whimpers whisk into the air, his pace gradually growing, leaning further down until our chests were pressed and rubbing against each other from the sweat that covered our skin. Xavier had a steady pace, gone was the pain and discomfort, now replaced with pleasure that slowly consumed my insides.
The sounds coming from my mouth were unstoppable, his lips kissing under my jaw, my arms came around and held him against me. His thrust grew deeper, giving me what I wanted, his groans and small growls filling my ears. I was lost in pleasure, nothing but Xavier running through my mind, the way his body rubbed against me, the feel of him sliding in and out me; my walls hugging him tightly.
Xavier pulls my lower half closer towards him, my bottom resting on the top of his thighs, driving himself deeper; hitting a spot deep inside me. A loud moan rises from my chest, the same building, tightening feeling in my stomach making an appearance, Xavier begins to pick up his pace.
Both his hands plant themselves on either side of my head, pulling out until only the tip was inside before slamming back into me repeatedly, his hard length rubbing against my walls the same as his pelvis stimulated my clît. I shuddered, moan after moan ripped from me, pleasure so intense crashing into me and swallowing me whole.
The ball was wounding tighter and tighter, the muscles in my stomach preparing for something, incoherent words passing my lips in a frenzy. My hands were reaching for something to hold me as I float with the pleasure that racks me, Xavier’s hands lacing with my fingers and holding them to the bed.
The smell of our lovemaking filled the sir, his pine, earthy scent mingling with sweat, that ball in the base of my stomach clenched tighter until it suddenly snapped, ecstasy all I was coming to know, my body locking up.
Rapid growls rumble from Xavier’s chest, my arms tightening around his back out of instinct, his grunts growing louder in my ear as he thrusts harder and faster before I’m filled to the brim. In the throes of pleasure, the beast in my head comes forth, her opportunity to make an appearance at my vulnerability.
My gums ache as my teeth elongate, eyes tingling, I want in control of my actions as I turned my head and ran my nose along the junction of Xavier’s neck where it met the shoulder, then I struck. My teeth sinking into his flesh, fully making him mine.