Phantasmagoria

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Two Little Words, One Big Reality

''Hannah? Hannah! Are you alright?'' I scream inside my home as soon as I get in. I fly into the living room, but don't find her there. Next I run to the kitchen, but she isn't there either. Must be upstairs then. I rush up the stairs and go straight towards our bedroom. I stop as I see the door is slightly ajar, and in the little sliver of light, I see Hannah sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down on the ground.

''Hannah...are you OK?'' I ask softly as I slowly enter the room. She's wearing her bath robe and her pink slippers. I walk closer to her, but she doesn't move from her position. Something must be really wrong.

''Hannah?'' I continue to call her name, wanting her to know I'm here for her. All thoughts of the game are now in the back of my mind. I care about what's happening right here and right now. I care about my family more about the game.

I settle down on the ground in front of Hannah as she still avoids eye contact with me. I can see from her cheeks that she's been crying...

''Hey, what's wrong? You can talk to me, I'm here now,'' I reassure her as I take her hands into mine and kiss them softly. She glances up at me instantly, her brown eyes filled with tears.

''Nash...I...,'' she begins but stops as she chokes back tears.

''Hey, it's OK, what is it?'' I say to her as I come in closer. She wipes her face with the sleeve of her bath robe and looks at me in the eye, now with more focus and composure.

''I'm...pregnant,'' she says.

What...

''You're...pregnant?'' I repeat after her. I stand up slowly, and...try to...digest of what she's just told me.

''Yes,'' she simply answers. She looks down again and cries quietly to herself.

''You're...pregnant,'' I say again, but as...a fact, rather than a question.

Hannah's pregnant.

My wife is...pregnant.

I'm going to be...a father again.

''I'm going to be a dad again,'' I say to myself. As realisation of this sinks in, I turn to Hannah, who's still upset.

''Honey, aren't you happy? This is what we wanted, right? Another baby? Why are you...upset?'' I ask Hannah calmly. We both wanted another one. We always said we wanted kids. We always wanted more. Why is she...

''What if...it happens again? If...I lose it? I can't bear it again, Nash! Not again!'' Hannah responds before she cries again.

What...

That's...why she's upset?

''Hey, don't! Don't think like that. We need to be positive, OK? We don't know if that will happen, but we can pray and hope that it doesn't, alright?'' I say as I comfort her. I sit beside her on the bed and hug her, letting her lean her head on me while I rub her arms in solace.

''I know...but...what happened before...is always on my mind,'' Hannah says between cries.

''I know, it's on my mind too. But we...need to think about the future, and focus on being happy. No matter what happens, we still love each other, alright?'' I say to her with conviction as I take my hand, tuck it under her chin and semi-force her to look at me. I need her to see I care about her. I need her to see that she is not alone in this.

I need her to see...me.

''I love you, Nash,'' she half whispers to me as we gaze into each others eyes.

''I love you too, Hannah,'' I say before I plant a kiss on her head and then one on her lips. I hold her in my arms as I think about those two little words she said to me.

'I'm pregnant'.

Two little words.

One big realisation.

We're going to have another baby.

I smile inwardly and outwardly as I ponder on this.

''Are you going to tell Jayden or shall I?'' I say to Hannah. She perks up and looks at me, a smile forming on her face.

''We'll both do it,'' she says. I smile when I hear that. We'll both do it. As a team.

Teamwork.

That's what makes a family.


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